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Elastic shortage raises risk of low-slung underwear

The risk of shortages in supplies of decent elastic this year is increasing, National Elasticity warned yesterday. Recent heat-waves in various parts of the world have ruined the availability of rubber and elastic, and many production companies ha...

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Plaster crisis averted - with porridge!

Funny story: Plaster crisis averted - with porridge!

For the fifth year in a row, the UK is suffering from a plaster shortage. This is rendering render difficult and plastering over cracks impossible. "I blame those there DIY tele programmes," said Brad Grammar of B&G Plasterers in Bromwich. "Th...

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Plum shortage hits fruit machines

Funny story: Plum shortage hits fruit machines

A European plum shortage has hit manufacturers of Fruit Machines in the UK. "The UK is the number one exporter of fruit machines, one arm bandits and the like," said Jason Orange, former member of Take That and owner of Fruit Inc. "We export to th...

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French petrol stations run dry, par de problem, they still have enough vin rouge!

Funny story: French petrol stations run dry, par de problem, they still have enough vin rouge!

The French are gradually running out of petrol which is causing slight discomforts in Le Republique. Many French, typical, have decided to abandon their automobiles, jump on Les Bicyclettes and head for the nearest boozer, because wine is stil ava...

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US Treasury Facing a Zero Shortage

Funny story: US Treasury Facing a Zero Shortage

Washington DC: President Barack Obama met today, in the Oval office, with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. The meeting was private, but White House staffers leaked that the president was concerned with the size of the government expenditures curr...

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World Sperm Bank in Crisis as Giant Storage Freezer Breaks Down

Funny story: World Sperm Bank in Crisis as Giant Storage Freezer Breaks Down

Yesterday in Geneva a spokesman for the World Sperm Bank Dr Dick Cumalott announced that a Giant Freezer stored at St. Peters Hospital had defrosted in the middle of night meaning that several million gallons of Love Juice had been irreparably damage...

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Panic at Colleges over Ramen Noodle Shortage

Funny story: Panic at Colleges over Ramen Noodle Shortage

College students who live off-campus and are struggling to make ends meet while getting an education have been hit with a major crisis. There is a major ramen noodle shortage and the few available packages of ramen noodles available are selling for...

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Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

Funny story: Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

The National intern shortage worsened last night as new appointments fell for the third time in as many months.

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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