The "Killer Clown" craze that has been sweeping the nation (and led BATTL news to assault a children's entertainer this week) may not be the only costumed terror we have to worry about.
Sightings of deranged sock puppets terrorising seaside commu...
In a drive to arrest falling numbers of visitors to our seaside towns one such place has taken drastic measures to ensure it's future. Sleepy Salminton On Sea has declared that every visitor over the age of 18 can claim a free bottle of wine upon arr...
According to Mr & Mrs Franklin Getz, a trip on a criese ship is like going into a hospital. Odd are pretty good that you will come down with something that you didn't go for.
"Like a hospital, if one person is sick and it can be caught by othe...
Former holiday destination Morecambe in the far North West of England is back in the running with the entire town becoming the latest Ageworld Theme Town.
Featuring a Euthanasia beach with deadly riptides and quicksand, fleets of mobility scooter...
"Someone's fallen overboard from that tanker, Fred. I can see 'is 'ead bobbin' up n dahn in the sea way out there."
"Yeah, likely story. Must av slipped off the deck 'cause ov all the oil on it I s'pose."
"Straight up Fred, I aint jokin'. I'm tellin' yer there's someone out there in the water. Poor bloke, (SHOUTS OUT TO SEA) 'ANG ON MATE, I'VE SEEN YER. 'ELPS ON THE WAY MATE."
"Well if th...
"No I bloody aint ad enuff. We've only bin sittin' 'ere fer five minutes. I wanna take in the view prop'ly, get some ov this ozone inside me lungs."
"Ron, I'm COLD.... and the rain's comin' dahn 'eavier now."
"Dive in me bag there, there's a little umbrella in there yer can use."
"I'll fly off like Mary Poppins if I try openin' umbrella in this wind. Water gets in through the stitches wi...
(SETTING: Ron and Fred are on a day trip to Canvey Island, Essex, UK. They're sitting on the sea wall along the esplanade looking out to - a very rough - sea. Very windy, Ron is taking some deep breaths of 'sea breeze' into his lungs.)
- After inhaling two deep long breaths Ron says to Fred who is sitting next to him on the sea wall,
"Yer don't find that anywhere else Fred. They av sea bre...
Holidaying off Torquay with family and friends, Nasher White has reported seeing groups of strange creatures floating and splashing about on the surface of the sea whilst making loud, shrieking calls as if sick or in trouble.
Recognisable by the...
Storm clouds are gathering over the normally genteel coast of East and West Sussex.
The great and good of Eastbourne and Hastings are at eachother's throats over which resort can boast the title of 'sunniest place in the UK.'
I thought your readers may be interested in some antedotal eveydense that obtrains of a famious pearson.
You see, I did life nearbie the fourmar Primed Minster, Sir Edwin Heathe, when he was still livine with his morther, Shirley, at Sellsea.
They had a moddest home then. That was befor Edwin, as we callt him, got to Parleymend. They just had the caler gaz and a potible Tellie.
Global warming. It may or may not be endangering the very future of the planet we live on, depending on your point of view.
But that is of little concern to the residents of a run down English seaside resort town, which has started to thrive with...
Fans of vaudeville were practically frenzied with apathy last night at the news that music hall comedian 'Cheerful' Charlie Chipstick is beginning a new tour.
The renowned alcoholic, famed for his starring role at the Job Centre, is set for a com...
Today stars of the Harry Potter film series took a well earned rest from...what ever it is they do, by going on their annual trip to the British seaside.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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