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Funny satire stories about sayings

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Funny story: Millions Shocked to Learn Identity of "They" as in "They Say It's Supposed to Rain"

Millions Shocked to Learn Identity of "They" as in "They Say It's Supposed to Rain"

For many years, millions of people have begun sentences with, "They say...". But just who "They" are has been a mystery--until now. University of Zawyzona Sociology Professor Dr. Hyman Flatcramp announced today that after years of searching, his te...
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Funny story: Man Steps On Crack, Breaks Mother's Back

Man Steps On Crack, Breaks Mother's Back

Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is being questioned by police tonight after he stepped on a crack in the sidewalk. Mr. Eduardo Spaghetti stepped on a crack in front of his house. The misstep instantly broke his mother's back. Mrs. Mia Spaghetti wa...
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Funny story: Sober as a Judge

Sober as a Judge

The perennially popular idiom "Sober as a Judge" was put under the spotlight by the Idiom Police, a lesser known division of the Literary Squad in Lincoln. "A lot of drunk people use the phrase," said Detective Charles Loche. "We need to know how...
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Funny story: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...
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Funny story: Lack of Vocabulary Means Metaphors Come True

Lack of Vocabulary Means Metaphors Come True

BIRMINGHAM - Across the country, metaphors are becoming true due to lack of vocabulary in citizens. The average person has roughly 5000 words in their vocabulary, with university students having 8000, and chavs having fifteen. Due to this lack...
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Funny story: Male global (H)ornythologists prove that the ancient proverb ,"A Great Tit in the hand is worth 2 'Dickies' in a bush," wrong!

Male global (H)ornythologists prove that the ancient proverb ,"A Great Tit in the hand is worth 2 'Dickies' in a bush," wrong!

At the University of Amsterdam a recent meeting of elite global (H)ornythologists met to scientifically prove (the study cosy $2 million by the way) if the ancient proverb (mentioned above) is still acceptable in modern times. The (H)ornythologist...
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Funny story: You Can't Polish a Turd

You Can't Polish a Turd

You can't polish a turd! This is an old saying with which prospective government employees should become familiar. Do not misunderstand me; the public service is a fine occupation for the young person wondering what to do with their lives, or how best they may be able to serve their fellow human beings. However, some things, like turds, are simply not capable of being made to look or smell any...
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Funny story: Over the Hill Student Offers Cacophony of Crusty Catchphrases

Over the Hill Student Offers Cacophony of Crusty Catchphrases

Larry Miller, forced to return to college to find a degree after losing the assembly job he had for 45 years, continues to entertain a new generation of college students with catchphrases so out of date no one has any idea what he is talking about.
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Funny story: Shock: Fighters Fly Off The Handle.

Shock: Fighters Fly Off The Handle.

A London born man has been detained by police indefinitely for pissing on someone's chips. Mr Walken-Cleeshay, who as every schoolboy knows is as old as Methuselah, committed the lewd act and subsequently had his collar felt, after coming to logge...
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Angry Birds CEO to step down

Angry Birds CEO Mikael Hed will not head the Finnish company next year; he is being replaced because he is not "choleric" enough to effectively represent the hostile video game franchise.

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