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Funny story: New Vacuum Cleaner Doubles as a Watch Dog

New Vacuum Cleaner Doubles as a Watch Dog

The Silicon Valley tech company of Lonco has just produced its latest product called Dogvac which is set to be released into the market on August 12 of this year. Dogvac is by far Lonco's most ingenious invention ever as it combines the high powered...
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Funny story: Orioles First Baseman Chris Davis Breaks Toe While Kicking Bat Between Pitches

Orioles First Baseman Chris Davis Breaks Toe While Kicking Bat Between Pitches

Baltimore Orioles resplendent slugger Chris Davis had a common habit of nonchalantly dropping the bat head downwards and kicking it softly on the toes of his feet between pitches during an at bat. Unfortunately on Friday night during a game against...
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Funny story: Kid Makes Nuclear Bomb Out of Vegetable Soup

Kid Makes Nuclear Bomb Out of Vegetable Soup

Sterling, Virginia boy, Hank Incendiary, has managed to cultivate the latent radiation in vegetable soup and use it to assemble a nuclear bomb. Using a homemade radiation absorption brush built from pieces of Lego, Hank managed to accumulate 20 lbs...
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Funny story: How Texas has Standing to Challenge DAPA (Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents)

How Texas has Standing to Challenge DAPA (Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents)

WASHINGTON, DC- This fall, the Supreme Court is expected to issue a ruling in United States v. Texas, a case in which a coalition of twenty-six states including Texas, challenged President Obama's executive action that provided temporary relief to ne...
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Funny story: Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf was born somewhere in East Anglia; it is not clear where. He was a schemer and a bit of a rogue, but he did have an eye for opportunity. By the time he was twenty he had reputedly sold his parents' home and made off with the family jewels. They were, in fact, more like family stones. None of them had any significant value. His father, Cedric, had only stored them in a wooden box and told stor...
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Funny story: Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Bentleyville, USA (AP)- Al Roker never predicted a rapturous burst of the power of prayer in his weekend forecast. The Child Soldiers For Christ youth group had assembled at their regular "divine debriefing" Sunday morning service when a loud nois...
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Funny story: Slice of Toast Image Mysteriously Appears in Virgin Mary Blow Mold

Slice of Toast Image Mysteriously Appears in Virgin Mary Blow Mold

Bentlyville (AP)- Who says Bentleyville isn't a tourist destination? The population of the small town has swelled dramatically since news of a local barkeep's bizarre discovery swept through the sleepy community, and far beyond. "I was just staring a...
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Funny story: Footpath Overtake 'Awkward As Shit': Reports

Footpath Overtake 'Awkward As Shit': Reports

Footpath Overtake 'Awkward As Shit': Reports Locals were stunned Monday afternoon when several bystanders witnessed what could only be described as a cataclysmic error in judgment when Michael Sainsbury, 24, attempted an ill-timed footpath overtak...
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Funny story: The Spoof encrypts its news website

The Spoof encrypts its news website

Cyberspace - Online satire publisher The Spoof has begun encrypting bits of its website to make it harder for hackers and cyber spies to monitor the stories its readers are enjoying. "We want our users to feel real secure," the virtual Editor exp...
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Funny story: Republican Convention to Feature Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) Competition

Republican Convention to Feature Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) Competition

Special to TPN-Republican National Chairman Reince Priebus has revealed that the party's presidential nominee will be determined by the winner of a Mixed Martial Arts (Ultimate Fighting) tournament. "With dozens of party members having thrown the...
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Funny story: Bigot Parents Are Having Yet Another Baby

Bigot Parents Are Having Yet Another Baby

Chepenseki, TENN.-- Local morons , Roy and Teri Rosheen, have had yet another child. According to local sources, the couple plans on naming the creation something "unique" like "Unique" or "Randy". The precious and soon to be dimwitted child is t...
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Funny story: Apple Watch's killer app: it reinvents time

Apple Watch's killer app: it reinvents time

Cupertino, California -- Enthusiasm for the launch of Apple Watch zoomed off the charts this week, as reviewers focused on an advanced capability of the digital timepiece. It is an exclusive app called the "Apple Global Time Zone™ and it promis...
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Funny story: Candidate Cruz Says that Tax System Should Be "Voluntary"

Candidate Cruz Says that Tax System Should Be "Voluntary"

Special to TPN - Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) followed up his announcement that he was running for President in 2016 with this statement given to Matt Lauer of the Today Show: "I believe the IRS should be eliminated and taxes made voluntary. It wor...
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Funny story: 10 Things You Need to Know About Donald Trump's Presidential Run

10 Things You Need to Know About Donald Trump's Presidential Run

Atlantic City, New Jersey -- Casino kingpin and reality TV star Donald Trump has put together an "exploratory committee" that will help him determine whether or not to run for President. Here are 10 things you have to look forward to if the panel gives him the green light: 1. His wig will have its own motorcade. 2. Expressing a preference for staying alive, Trump refuses Secret Service prote...
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Funny story: Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Cambridge-Andy Borowitz, senior faux-news correspondent at the New Yorker, has been appointed Harvard University's first Professor Nuntium Non Genuina Spoofitus(Professor of Double-Take Journalism). Borowitz will begin his duties in October, init...
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Funny story: Rupert Murdoch Admits FOX News Began as Political Satire

Rupert Murdoch Admits FOX News Began as Political Satire

In an interview with this fearless reporter, media tycoon Rupert Murdoch confessed a bit of an inside joke that has kept him smiling to himself for over 18 years - The FOX News he initially envisioned was a 24-hour news parody satirizing America's in...
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Funny story: Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over

Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- During an exclusive interview with TMZ, Rapper, Actor, and Entrepreneur, Snoop Dogg (aka Snoop Lion) has admitted that his long struggle with glaucoma is finally over. "I'm just glad this shizzle is finally over, I...
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Funny story: Vacuum Salesman Can't Believe Your Family Isn't Already Fucking Dead

Vacuum Salesman Can't Believe Your Family Isn't Already Fucking Dead

Your Home, USA-Mark Rosen has just entered your home to show you the great suction and cleaning power of his new Shark Rocket cleaning system, and to be honest, he can't believe how you and your family have survived without it. "Its suction power...
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New Libertarian Slogan: Feel The Johnson

Just don't feel the Johnson burn.
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