Windsore, Berks - Reports that she clocked a shiner in a row with Prince Philip have been hastily put down to a playful pillow fight.
But the discovery of a ten pound brick inside a monogrammed cushion cover has successfully rubbished the Palace's...
Odds makers are having a bit of fun again his year prior to the kickoff for the Royal Ascot setting the odds on what the Princess Uglies, Beatrice and Eugenie can do for a 'topper' after the Royal Wedding great hat fiasco!
Millinery Mavens say the...
Ascot - "Not a cricketing 'box', you twerps," Ascot Clerk of the Course Sir Partridge Popple chortled at reporters at a news conference today.
"As an ex-wife of a famous sportsman Ms Cole's bound to have come across a few groin guard cups in her t...
Lord Humphrey Nonce QC was left cursing his bad luck at Royal Ascot yesterday.
The 'Sporting Judge', who part owns a leg of the game filly Kinky Afro, watched as the nag pulled up short in The Buckingham Palace Stakes over 7 Furlongs.
With the...
Royal Ascot normally an event reserved for High-society, Arsitocrats, Royalty and stupid hats turned into a massive brawl yesterday as champagne bottles not only were drunk, they were also used as weapons at 200 quid a bottle.
The event saw a new...
A petty crook has been sent to prison for life after belittling a Judge's manhood.
Willy Scrote, of Hampton Wick, had originally received a "modest fine" for exposing himself in front of the Royal Box at Ascot on Ladies' Day.
The jurors were to...
Ascot - Online bookmaker RoyalMugPunter.con is still awaiting settlement of Derby Day IOUs on disastrous royal no-hoper Carlton House.
House of Windsor losses are said to account for much of the £50 million that bookies raked in when French-traine...
London - A poll of snooty TV battleaxes has seen the BBC's Clare Balding voted Top Female Crawler.
The 40 year-old sports broadcaster narrowly pipped BBC Springbotch presenter Kate Humble into second place.
Crinkly-haired blond Kate's entirely...
Berkshire - A new twist beckons on the June 1st solar eclipse that fooled Queen Elizabeth into backing her third-rate Derby no-hoper Carlton House.
Wednesday's eclipsed full moon is likely to do just as much damage to royal mug punters determined...
Ascot - (Whorsewhisperers): Stuff the odds on what color hat HM might be wearing for the first day's racing at Royal Ascot tomorrow.
Paddy Pow-Wow.con bookmakers are going one better and are reporting a 'Chinese wall of money' on the Queen faili...
Ascot - (Big Ass Mess): Racing authorities have refused to fork out for winches and hydraulic cherrypicker equipment at the start of tomorrow's five day meeting.
But without these or emergency mass-liposuction on her derriere there seems little ho...
Ascot - (Leeches): A Guatamalan-sized giant sinkhole in Ascot's balance sheet is playing havoc with next week's five day royal meeting.
Forensic accountants probing Ascot's finances said a Deepwater Horizon-style haemorrhage has bled dry the racec...
Ascot, Berks - (Shergar Ass Mess): Groundsmen are working round the clock to replace over £100,000 of turf after a swastika crop circle appeared in Ascot Racecourse's Royal Enclosure.
The Third Reich effigy materialised overnight following a Troop...
Ascot, berks - (Snake-in-the-Grass Mess): A huge Carla Bruni-faced serpent crop circle has suddenly appeared in Royal Ascot's unsaddling enclosure prompting the immediate cancellation of next week's five day race meeting.
Ascot, Berkshire - (Ass Mess): The Royal Ascot racecourse has been issued with a red alert by insurance industry sources after credible astrology reports warned that the start of the meeting on 19 June is "redolent with disasters of Biblical pro...