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Funny story: Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )

Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )

Producers of "Strictly" are desperate not to appear to have pressurised old Bruce Forsyth to go into semi retirement. "I always said to myself I'd know when the time came when it was time to go". He reminisced last week. "Could you face bingo and day...
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Funny story: Kobe Bryant Hints That Whenever He Retires From Basketball He May Run For Mayor of Los Angeles

Kobe Bryant Hints That Whenever He Retires From Basketball He May Run For Mayor of Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has just broken the story regarding Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant's political aspirations. Rufus Reno with SBID said that he talked with Kobe and he sounded upbeat considering that he is in v...
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Funny story: Alec Baldwin retires; America celebrates

Alec Baldwin retires; America celebrates

NEW YAWK -- Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddox, Harvey Levin, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transvestites, transsexuals, and 99.99 percent of the rest of the American public are celebrating after sexist, anti-Semitic, racist, homophobic bigot Alex Baldwin,...
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Funny story: A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

A Retired School Teacher In Berlin Reveals That She Has 3 Vaginas

BERLIN - Greta Giselle Vinheimer taught high school geography in the Berlin Independent School District for 37 years before she retired last month. Mrs. Vinheimer was given a fantastic retirement party which included the keys to a brand new 2014 M...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Says Kim Jong Un Has Personally Invited Him To Visit North Korea

Justin Bieber Says Kim Jong Un Has Personally Invited Him To Visit North Korea

FORT WORTH, Texas - Justin Bieber was in the Texas city known as Cowtown. He had traveled down to Fort Worth to purchase a pair of authentic Texas rattlesnake cowboy boots. Justin said that he had heard about the famous boots from Clint Eastwoo...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Is Dumb Like A Fox

Justin Bieber Is Dumb Like A Fox

NEW YORK CITY - Justin Bieber flew into New York City for an appearance on The Viagra View with Larry King and Regis Philbin. The Biebs told the elder talk show hosts that he wanted to give them a scoop. Both men sat up in their chairs. Justin then told them that he was officially announcing that he was retiring from the music business. No?" asked Philbin. "Yes" Bieber replied "You'...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Seen Celebrating His So-Called Retirement With A Joint

Justin Bieber Seen Celebrating His So-Called Retirement With A Joint

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Justin Bieber recently appeared on Tonight With Piers Morgan and he told the delving Englishman that he had decided to hang up his microphone and retire. Morgan asked him why and Bieber said that the singing business had...
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Funny story: America's Top Drug Dog Retires

America's Top Drug Dog Retires

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas. Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his han...
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Funny story: "I've Permanetly Retired From Competitive Soccer" says Ex-Pope

"I've Permanetly Retired From Competitive Soccer" says Ex-Pope

Rome - Catholic soccer fans are in shock today after Ex-Pope Benedict XVI said he is hanging up his cleats at the end of the season and would no longer compete in Vatican League soccer. Benedict XVI, the leading scorer the last seven seasons for...
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Funny story: Top 10 retirement suggestions for Mayor Bloomberg

Top 10 retirement suggestions for Mayor Bloomberg

New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
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Funny story: Chimps Demand Retirement Party

Chimps Demand Retirement Party

It happened as soon as the National Institutes of Health announced this week that "...310 chimps will be retiring from medical research over the next few years..." One of the chimps said, "Throwing us a party, it's the least they can do, we've put in our time." And the chimps weren't at all shy about exactly what kind of a party it should be. Here are a few of the things they demanded: --...
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Funny story: Pope Prays for a Retirement Party

Pope Prays for a Retirement Party

And if his prayers are answered, the party will be held in St. Peter's Square, with thousands and thousands of attendees from around the word! The Pope has told reporters, "Look, for years, I've been going out on the balcony and blessing that di...
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Funny story: Michael Jordan: Old Man, Got Game

Michael Jordan: Old Man, Got Game

Reports are coming out of left field that Michael Jordan, the ostensible greatest NBA player of all-time, plans a return to the game at age 50. Not since 70-year old Ty Cobb considered a comeback to baseball have we heard such a tall-tale. Cobb fe...
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Funny story: North Pole in Shambles, Santa Ponders Retirement

North Pole in Shambles, Santa Ponders Retirement

A high ranking Elf Union source reported today that Santa is now considering retirement, following recent economic and environmental impacts to the North Pole and Santa's workshop. The retirement speculation follows a report last week that Moody's...
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Funny story: Tim Tebow in shock move

Tim Tebow in shock move

New York Jet's backup quarterback Tim Tebow is to quit professional football. The former Florida Gators and Denver Broncos star told shocked reporters after the Jet's 35 - 9 win over the Colts. "I feel pretty much redundant here in New York." Tebo...
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Funny story: Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco are due to announce that they intend to change retirement age for their staff from 65 to 67. They will become the first major employer to make the change, and they believe the move will be popular. Tesco Group Personnel Director Val Ewebran...
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Funny story: The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

It's no fun turning 60. It's the official beginning of "old manhood," as in, "What are you doing in the fast lane, old man?" Or worse, "What are you doing in the diaper aisle, old man?" But as with most things in life, there are some positives. Change can be good. Improvements have been made. For instance, the life expectancy of an American male back in 1937 was 58. If that number hadn't improv...
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Funny story: R.E.M. Retired Elderly Musicians

R.E.M. Retired Elderly Musicians

It happened today, and it's the end of the world as we know it: R.E.M. (considered by many to have invented Electro-Lite pop) have announced their retirement from the music industry. "It's a bad day for music," said Rockville editor, Wendel Gee. "...
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Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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