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Funny story:  Michael Jordan: Old Man, Got Game

Michael Jordan: Old Man, Got Game

Reports are coming out of left field that Michael Jordan, the ostensible greatest NBA player of all-time, plans a return to the game at age 50. Not since 70-year old Ty Cobb considered a comeback to baseball have we heard such a tall-tale. Cobb fe...
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Funny story:  North Pole in Shambles, Santa Ponders Retirement

North Pole in Shambles, Santa Ponders Retirement

A high ranking Elf Union source reported today that Santa is now considering retirement, following recent economic and environmental impacts to the North Pole and Santa's workshop. The retirement speculation follows a report last week that Moody's...
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Funny story:  Tim Tebow in shock move

Tim Tebow in shock move

New York Jet's backup quarterback Tim Tebow is to quit professional football. The former Florida Gators and Denver Broncos star told shocked reporters after the Jet's 35 - 9 win over the Colts. "I feel pretty much redundant here in New York." Tebo...
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Funny story:  Tesco:  Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco are due to announce that they intend to change retirement age for their staff from 65 to 67. They will become the first major employer to make the change, and they believe the move will be popular. Tesco Group Personnel Director Val Ewebran...
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Funny story:  The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

The Top 10 Upsides of Turning 60

It's no fun turning 60. It's the official beginning of "old manhood," as in, "What are you doing in the fast lane, old man?" Or worse, "What are you doing in the diaper aisle, old man?" But as with most things in life, there are some positives. Change can be good. Improvements have been made. For instance, the life expectancy of an American male back in 1937 was 58. If that number hadn't improv...
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Funny story:  R.E.M. Retired Elderly Musicians

R.E.M. Retired Elderly Musicians

It happened today, and it's the end of the world as we know it: R.E.M. (considered by many to have invented Electro-Lite pop) have announced their retirement from the music industry. "It's a bad day for music," said Rockville editor, Wendel Gee. "...
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Funny story:  Top ten things I will not miss now I have retired from teaching

Top ten things I will not miss now I have retired from teaching

Here is MY top ten list of things I WILL NOT miss now I have retired from teaching...in reverse order of priority 10. Getting up early and having to get dressed in nice clothes. 9. Driving to work in the winter and spinning my car, sometimes ending up in a snow bank. 8. Having to pack luches and snacks on a daily basis. 7. Writing a Day Book with lesson plans...
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Funny story:  Top ten tips for newly retired persons

Top ten tips for newly retired persons

Top Ten tips to the newly retired: 10. Relax for the first few days 9. Get out of bed at the same time as you did when working 8. Get washed every day and clean your teeth 7. Don't get into conversations with the tele-marketers 6. Don't start going to church if you didn't go when you were working. This will only depress you. 5. Get to know your neighbo...
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Funny story:  Give me back the good old days  - Ode to teaching

Give me back the good old days - Ode to teaching

Yesterday I said goodbye to the last class I will teach Yes I've retired but stuck it out - put the bit between my teeth. I started out in England in 1973 Three years of teachers' college there Was more than enough for me. My teaching job I did enjoy Each little girl, each little boy Some keen to learn,some keen to play. I enjoyed each and every day. And then I moved to Canada Wher...
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Funny story:  Brettt Favre Can't Retire

Brettt Favre Can't Retire

New York, NY - He's been moving like a WalMart greeter for years. Now Brett Favre is one step closer to becoming one. In an ironic twist of fate, the man who's made a living out of announcing his retirement at the end of each football season, suddenl...
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Funny story:  The Over 50 Male Rant

The Over 50 Male Rant

As if there weren't already enough rants available on the interwebs, featuring fanatical right or political left, bible thumping religious exclusivity, social, cultural or gender based preeminence, why not one more dedicated to the plight of the modern 50+ year old male. Regardless of race, class, cultural upbringing or religious background, the Over Fifty Male, known in this thread to be the O...
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Funny story:  News from Sunnydays retirement home

News from Sunnydays retirement home

Oh look! a budgie. Isn't it lovely? I had one just like it, a ginger tom it was, but it got run over. Well they did in those days didn't they - not like now. I don't know what the world is coming to, what with all this sex and violence you see nowadays. My Charlie was never like that - except when he used to tie me to the mangle and hit me with the coal shovel. I blame those mobile phones mysel...
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Funny story:  Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Amid strong speculation that Bruce Forsyth would be hanging up his dancing shoes at the age of ninety, Brucie himself has come forward and admitted that the limelight has just too much allure to have him retire just yet. "ITV bosses have offered m...
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Funny story:  Phil Collins Announces  Retirement

Phil Collins Announces Retirement

There has been a distinctly low key reaction in the entertainment world to the news that Phil Collins has announced his retirement from the music business. The former Genesis drummer , who carved out a successful solo career with albums such as '.
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Funny story:  Local Man Pissed After Yobs Rampage Through Quiet Retirement Community!

Local Man Pissed After Yobs Rampage Through Quiet Retirement Community!

A quiet retired man, Melvin Wordsmithe, although he advised that he prefers his nickname "Wally" to Melvin, or Mel, awoke to find his tranquil neighborhood awash in plainclothes police after a late night rampage by local yobs the night before. W...
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Funny story:  Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Shy and retiring megastar Lady GaGa has today sensationally quit the showbiz world. Lady GaGa, real name Gaynor Gartside has had enough of living the highlife and called it a day. As her new single once again goes global, she explained her decision to millions of devastated fans world wide. 'This will indeed be my last single. I'm sick and tired of wearing bra's made out of Parma Ham, a...
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Funny story:  Baby Boomer Retirement Planning App Pushes Retirement Age to 170

Baby Boomer Retirement Planning App Pushes Retirement Age to 170

A new computer application available to baby boomers, who are now reaching retirement age at the rate of 10,000 a day, allows optimistic boomers to plan for an affluent retirement at the ripe old age of 170. The program allows the user to type in...
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Funny story:  Retire Now, Work Later

Retire Now, Work Later

Company has answer to backwards dilemma: What is retirement and why does it have to come at the end of your career and life? Why not retire when you are 21 and able to enjoy your full potential? Work can wait, but your youth and health are on a declining scale. Waiting until you are 65 is like waiting until the expiration date has passed. Milk may still be palatable after its expiry...
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