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Funny satire stories about republican primary

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Funny story: GOP Primary Voters Would Like to Use One of Their Lifelines Please

GOP Primary Voters Would Like to Use One of Their Lifelines Please

Faced with an unpleasant choice in a rapidly narrowing but still unappealing field of presidential hopefuls, Republican voters this week asked television host Meredith Vieira if they could please use one of their lifelines to help them pick the corre...
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Funny story: The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...
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Funny story: Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

The entire Republican presidential race took an unexpected turn when Newt Gingrich got hold of Mitt Romney's etch a sketch and shook the crap out of it. The incident occurred at a Houma, Louisiana gumbo bar called Mumbo Dumbo's Gumbo where both cand...
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Funny story: Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

In an effort to solidify support in the Midwest, Mitt Romney held a press conference in Jefferson City, Missouri, to address what he called a "glaring gap" in Republican policy: nutrition. Romney told carnivorous voters that Missouri, the second-lead...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Accidentally falling into the hands of reporters yesterday, Mitt Romney's campaign bus travel menu may indicate more about the candidate than he would prefer. Like other candidates on the campaign trail, Romney travels with his own cooking staff a...
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Funny story: Romney Plans to Install Dog Carrier on Top of Air Force One

Romney Plans to Install Dog Carrier on Top of Air Force One

Joint Base Andrews, MD - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his plan to install a customized dog carrier on the top of Air Force One if elected president. Romney was seen speaking with mechanics at the hanger that houses...
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Funny story: Obama Wins Republican Presidential Primary

Obama Wins Republican Presidential Primary

Washington D.C. - President Barack Obama has won the 2012 Republican presidential primary. This marks the first time in U.S. history that a member of the Democratic Party has won the presidential primary for the Republicans. It also marks the first t...
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Funny story: Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"

Risk Sanatorium, trying to be the strong conservative in the GOP Primary sweepstakes, picked up on the announcement from the Pentagon that more women in US armed forces will be serving in the front line. "Oh no!" he exclaimed, "This is not the w...
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Funny story: Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Emerging like a Phoenix in South Carolina after his second wife dropped the infidelity bomb on him, Newt Gingrich is now lobbying Tiger Woods for campaign support in Florida, says "they're kindred spirits". Referring to Tiger's ability to launch a...
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Funny story: Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Following what many believe to be examples of ridiculous and juvenile leadership styles from the Republican candidates on the debate trail as well as from the Democrats in Washington, Chuck Norris has decided to take the U.S. Presidency in 2013. No...
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Funny story: Stephen Colbert Starts Campaign in South Carolina, Gingrich Flees

Stephen Colbert Starts Campaign in South Carolina, Gingrich Flees

Satirical talk show host Stephen Colbert, filed his Republican candidate paperwork in South Carolina this week, while Gingrich pulls out of the Carolinas to avoid confrontation with the self-described, "Master Debater". The pure comedic talent is...
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Funny story: Gingrich to Stump for Hair Care Products after Primary Defeat

Gingrich to Stump for Hair Care Products after Primary Defeat

Still stinging from the lack of support by the broader Republican caucus and the American people, Newt Gingrich will attempt to reinvent himself, again, as a spokesman for 'Just for Men' hair coloring products. 68 years old, white haired and marri...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Purchases New Hampshire: Calls Off Debate And Election Primary

Donald Trump Purchases New Hampshire: Calls Off Debate And Election Primary

NEW YORK - Eccentric billionaire Don Trump, disgusted with the outcome of the Iowa caucus and the quality of the GOP candidates currently contesting for the opportunity to run against President Barack Obama, announced today that he had closed escrow...
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Funny story: Michele Bachmann Hangs up on Sarah Palin After Being Called Witch

Michele Bachmann Hangs up on Sarah Palin After Being Called Witch

MINNESOTA - In what has been dubbed the most disappointing political campaign narrative out of the rank and file presidential hopefuls, Sarah Palin made an effort to interrupt her new reality show, "Bristol's not the boss," and give Michele Bachmann...
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Funny story: Occupy Wall St. to raid the next Republican presidential debate

Occupy Wall St. to raid the next Republican presidential debate

LAS VEGAS - Although Las Vegas is far from New York City, organizers are working straight through the next couple of nights to insure that Occupy Wall is 'well represented.' Some protestors are flying, some are driving, and others are walking really...
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Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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