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Funny story: Johann Sebastian beBop makes Arizona rap debut to adoring fans

Johann Sebastian beBop makes Arizona rap debut to adoring fans

TEMPE, AZ (ABSNN) -"There is yet hope for rap music," said an enthusiastic Governor Jan Brewer who introduced 11-year-old Johann Sebastian beBop, a Caucasian rap singer. Master beBop sang or chanted before a throng of 20,000 last night in Tempe...
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Funny story: End Times Rev. Harold Camping Found in Vegas

End Times Rev. Harold Camping Found in Vegas

Oakland, Ca. - After his latest Rapture prediction failed to take him to Heaven, Rev. Harold Camping decided to plan a trip of his own, to Vegas. Found seated at the Roulette table in Caesars Palace, with a show girl in one hand and a rum and...
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Funny story: Man Sues Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping: "I would not have committed all those Crimes if I knew he would be wrong"

Man Sues Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping: "I would not have committed all those Crimes if I knew he would be wrong"

A man, who is being held in a city jail in Denver, Colorado for committing 28 felonies and 32 misdemeanors in a two day spree, is suing Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping for "really fucking me over". Jerry BrainDead committed the crimes during the...
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Funny story: Armageddon Machine Breaks Down

Armageddon Machine Breaks Down

Like its earlier failure in 1994, Howard Camping's Armageddonator® broke down only seconds after it was fired up on Saturday at 6:00 PM. "At the heart of the machine is an old REO Truck engine, and the dang main bearing just seized up," said Camp...
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Funny story: Rapture did happen - gateway to Hell opens in Iceland

Rapture did happen - gateway to Hell opens in Iceland

Yesterday, on Saturday 21st of May, the long-awaited "rapture" appears to have actually happened, despite being widely ridiculed. The Rapturometer is a very precise scientific instrument kept in the Pentagon in the US, and its bell began to toll in t...
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Funny story: Satan Reveals He Will Use Euro Sign In Place Of '666' In Preparation For May 21st's Rapture

Satan Reveals He Will Use Euro Sign In Place Of '666' In Preparation For May 21st's Rapture

Satan --The Morningstar, the Overlord of Hell and Nancy Grace's stepbrother-- appeared on the late night talk show Chelsea Lately and announced that the Number of the Beast, 666, will be changed to the symbol for Euros, in preparation for the Rapture...
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Funny story: Top Story For Today, May 21, 2011: Where The F--k Is Everybody?

Top Story For Today, May 21, 2011: Where The F--k Is Everybody?

News gathering agencies around the world are opening their reports today asking one vital question: "Where the f--k is everybody?" "It's May 21, 2011," said Today Show host Matt Lauer, apparently alone in the NBC studios, and operating his own...
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Funny story: Westboro Baptist Church Pastor Blames Rapture for Steep Decline in Attendance

Westboro Baptist Church Pastor Blames Rapture for Steep Decline in Attendance

Westboro Baptist Church, known best for its recent Supreme Court win allowing its members to annoy the hell out of anyone grieving at a funeral for someone whose lifestyle they don't agree with, has lost ¾ of its flock in recent weeks. Once a thrivin...
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Funny story: Atheists Get Ready to Cash in on the Rapture

Atheists Get Ready to Cash in on the Rapture

In a post-rapture world, it is believed that atheists and agnostics may be faced with horrendous living conditions on Earth. However, it doesn't have to be the end of the world. With pre- and post-rapture business opportunities already beginning to s...
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Funny story: US Repubs Vanish; Could it Be the Rapture?

US Repubs Vanish; Could it Be the Rapture?

Gallop polls report that only five states' citizens identify as Republicans. Four are Mormon strongholds and the fifth favors hometown queen Sarah Palin. The poll, which featured a gigantic sample, seems to suggest that the solid south has evapor...
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Funny story: Bush and Cheney Declare Independence from America

Bush and Cheney Declare Independence from America

George Bush and Dick Cheney issued a long statement today declaring their independence from the people of the United States of America.
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Funny story: President Blames "Faulty Intelligence" For Wrong Date Of Rapture

President Blames "Faulty Intelligence" For Wrong Date Of Rapture

President Bush said he would call for an independent, non-denominational commission to investigate intelligence failures regarding the predicted date of the Rapture.
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"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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