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Funny story: Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors. The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of si...
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Funny story: The Doctor Will See You Now

The Doctor Will See You Now

The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms. He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.
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Funny story: That Budgie of Mine

That Budgie of Mine

That Budgie Harold of mine, forever drinking and all the time. A squirt of whisky, a glug of Guinness it's surprise at all he's still here with us. There he go a shouhy loud at regulare passer-by, shouby in the morning tide this budgie who imbibe. But what else for a bird who sing and squawk and scream, we hang him by the lamppost bright and watch him gently dream. God Harold, noddy...
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Funny story: A Chrisbus Cackle

A Chrisbus Cackle

Here are two long long Chrisbus lettuce Dir Simon Horp yore havving a spivving time in the countryside, we know that you are. Just a little spiggy about us. Dad's had a shave and is the usual chips off the old bloke he's always been, Mary really is a grate size now but we horpe she won't bust before you arrive. Josie needs embalming after her accident and Ken (minus tail) won a lorry full of...
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Funny story: The Case of The Mysterious Face Jammer

The Case of The Mysterious Face Jammer

Panic in the streets of small town continued tonight as the mysterious face jammer claimed yet another victim, this time outside of the bespoke chickens shop on 'dash-it-all street'. Chief inspector Williams has been drafted in from the 'super-duper...
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Funny story: What is it like to be very Frank?

What is it like to be very Frank?

After three years of phone hacking, hiding in playground shrubbery and hundreds of inconclusive photographs, today we are finally interviewing very Frank. He has kindly agreed to talk to us on the proviso that he can stuff his face choc-full of Turkish delights throughout the entirety of the interview. At certain points of the interview we may have to adjust the height, weight and circumference of...
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Funny story: Big turnout for people who are voting about the general issues in their country and the parties who are contesting for power.

Big turnout for people who are voting about the general issues in their country and the parties who are contesting for power.

A general erection today for everybody in Britain, and what a big one it was with hundreds of inhabitants turning out in their thousands to vote on the important issues of today. As it were there was a landslide for the nutty natters over 90's nudist...
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Funny story: Hodgson to Announce 25-man England Squad, to some bloke on Train

Hodgson to Announce 25-man England Squad, to some bloke on Train

After divulging Rio Ferdinand's omission from the England squad to a passenger on the tube, Roy Hodgson is expected to name his full 25 man squad on the 19:15 Portsmouth to London, when asked by some guy. It is thought he may announce the squad be...
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Funny story: Petrol stations caught using random number generators for petrol prices

Petrol stations caught using random number generators for petrol prices

Drivers have long seen petrol prices change every time that they pass the same petrol station. It turns out now that the price being set bares no relation to the price of oil. Instead, each petrol station has a random number generator built into the...
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Funny story: Effects of Booze on Random Number Generation

Effects of Booze on Random Number Generation

Professor Herman Verbose, of the Gunthar Institute Berlin has been running a quite remarkable experiment that has drawn in students from all over Germany. His post-doctorate students had successfully applied for a grant off the German government t...
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Daryl Hannah Breaks Up With Neil Young

I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.

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