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Man Loses Hands

Funny story: Man Loses Hands

Peter has lost his hands and needs help finding them! He has offered some thing or another for the return of the hands but we don't know for sure because the reward notice he's been sticking to lampposts with his head are completely indecipherable. T...

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Man Leaves The Pool

Funny story: Man Leaves The Pool

Earnest Horn (man) went swimming in his local swimming baths in June 2010 for no real raisin. Most people would think that four years is just too long to be swimming in the pool but he said that 'Oh no that's fine'' and today was the perfect time for...

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Man Loses The Plot

Funny story: Man Loses The Plot

Imagine walking through town. You have a beard. The beard sits on your face. You realise this and so turn to look into a shoppe window hoping to catch a glimpse of you with your beard. There it is you think, still there. Anyway after this you turn a corner (as corners are notoriously difficult to navigate if one keeps walking in the same direction) and all of a sudden you are confronted with a her...

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Random Questions to Strangers Outlawed

Funny story: Random Questions to Strangers Outlawed

In a bid to curb unnecessary discomfort, bewilderment and mild irritation a nationwide ban has been placed on all situations where a person may need to ask one or more strangers a basic question. The ban is expected to run for six months. Question...

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Hero Makes Huge Sacrifice

Funny story: Hero Makes Huge Sacrifice

Ordinary normally working everyday working-man Dave Marx has become the sensation of 2014 after sawing his legs off and then penning his very own ode to agony. It is thought Dave saw an episode of Jeremy Kyle and felt sorry for all those poor people who were forced to live lives with varying handicaps. He decided the only thing for it was to saw both of his legs off and then make a song about it t...

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Calls For Mandatory Use of Helmets In Professional Boxing

Funny story: Calls For Mandatory Use of Helmets In Professional Boxing

Tonight's World Heavyweight Championship bout between Eugene 'Swarfega hands' Smalls and Louis 'The Lepor' Trunks ended in farce as Smalls attempted to strum the tune to 'The Ballad of Richard Nixon' by John Denver and Trunks began some kind of upsid...

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The Subterranean Homesick News!

Funny story: The Subterranean Homesick News!

Bad news is set to hit everyone this week as large swathes of armed robbery, parliamentary fraud and not to mention the worst weather since records began are due in the UK. It is predicted to be worse than the last time absolutely nothing at all hap...

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Childbirth vs a kick in the privates, which is more painful?

Funny story: Childbirth vs a kick in the privates, which is more painful?

Angry scenes at A&E tonight as a man and woman, Barry Nutsafe and Dawn Moulds are having a 'pain-off', just to see which is more painful. Being kicked in the privates or childbirth. We have an audience including staff having fag breaks, peopl...

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What are you doing this year?

Attempting to try top ten tempting things 1. Pedal backwards on a bicycle, go on try it, but mind the river. 2. Washing all of the dust from the cupboards of old mother hubbard. 3. Play hide and seek on an extremely small boat. 4. Rock climbing a donkey. 5. Make a lists. 6. Watch the trailer of 1953 romantic drama movie 'the earrings of Madame de' 57 times and then attempt to fi...

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'A Flock of Seagulls' attack pensioner

Eighties new wave band 'A flock of seagulls' have today been bailed pending further investigation after it was reported they had swarmed and beaten down an OAP on Brighton pier last October. The band, fronted by a man who's hair looks like a set...

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'Excellent' Food Critic Loses It

Funny story: 'Excellent' Food Critic Loses It

World renowned food critic 'just one more' Larry Le Cellar-door last night shocked attendees at the '7even' restaurant a la 'fit to bursting' pub, aka 'tramp-shed', Chiswick. Everyone at the table had just sat down for their meals when Mr. Cellar...

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Girl carried off into space amid fears for lost balloon

Funny story: Girl carried off into space amid fears for lost balloon

Worried parents and performing clowns have been seated watching news24 for the last 72 hours, biting eyebrows and clipping unwanted chattering teeth after somegirl, someplace, it was Alice but not their Alcie disspersed into the winds surrounding her...

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The life of a travelling salesman, or other similar jobs

Funny story: The life of a travelling salesman, or other similar jobs

Have you ever wondered about life doing a job which you are currently not doing? Well today we explore such a farfetched possibility and investigate the life of a travelling salesman. If you already are a travelling salesman then please do not read any further. We are looking for the truth only. Also if you are not a man then please put those scowls away and rest assured that we are thinking of yo...

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Breaking news…

Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career

Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.
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