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Funny story: Chicago Mayor Calls Hoodies More Dangerous Than Guns

Chicago Mayor Calls Hoodies More Dangerous Than Guns

BILLINGSGATE POST - Mayor Rahm Emanuel, although not pleased with the fact that Chicago's 2012 murder toll reached 500, did find reason to praise the gangs for limiting their violence to their own neighborhoods. With statistics showing that 90 per...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton is next London Ambassador as Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel makes Secretary of State

Hillary Clinton is next London Ambassador as Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel makes Secretary of State

Washington DC - In what's been described as her very own 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina' moment Hillary's resignation after four years of running the State Department comes with the sure-fire sweetener of the US's top diplomatic posting to London.
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Funny story: Chicago Police Raid Underground Restaurants

Chicago Police Raid Underground Restaurants

Chicago IL: Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has to deal with a high murder rate in the inner-city, a school teacher strike and now illegal horse meat restaurants. Horse meat slaughter (including government inspection) is again legal in the USA as of N...
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Funny story: Olympic Gold Medal In 4X100 Mayhem Relay Won By Team Chicago: Kabul Wins Silver

Olympic Gold Medal In 4X100 Mayhem Relay Won By Team Chicago: Kabul Wins Silver

BILLINGSGATE POST - On the final day of 2012 Summer Games, the USA Team, comprised of four members of the elite Chicago Vice Lords, shocked the sports world by defeating the Mayhem Relay Team of Kabul, said to be responsible for over 900 deaths of bo...
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Funny story: Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vig...
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Funny story: In momentary lapse, Emanuel calls Chief of Staff position 'toughest job in America'

In momentary lapse, Emanuel calls Chief of Staff position 'toughest job in America'

CHICAGO - Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel jumped to the defense of Bill Daley, who had announced this week his resignation as President Obama's chief of staff after having served in that role for just over a year. Emanuel, who had himself served as Pre...
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Funny story: President Obama Pardons Turkeys: The Next Chapter

President Obama Pardons Turkeys: The Next Chapter

Oh, you thought it was just the "gobble, gobble" kind? Think again! After he completed the traditional White House pardoning of two turkeys of the animal variety this week, President Obama confided to friends that he was forcing himself to pardo...
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Funny story: It's CRAP! Two Weeks After Taking Office Chicago Mayor Emanuel Announces City Casino, Slots in Airports & No Indians!

It's CRAP! Two Weeks After Taking Office Chicago Mayor Emanuel Announces City Casino, Slots in Airports & No Indians!

Former White House Chief of Staff, ballet dancer, Mossad Agent and potty mouthed politician Rahm Emanuel did what the former Daley Family, both father and son. couldn't accomplish in 46 years, return Chicago to the 1930's...in just two weeks! Elec...
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Funny story: Joanna Yeates pub to be renamed the Bristol Palin Rahm

Joanna Yeates pub to be renamed the Bristol Palin Rahm

Bristol - (RIPizza Stuff): Patrons at a Clitfon Triangle drinking establishment are all agog at latest twists in the Vincent Tabak case. Rumors that the Jo Yeates accused is really a Mossad high flier have surfaced once more in the Bristol Ram pub...
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Funny story: Citizen Emanuel Back In The Mayoral Saddle Again, Many In Hollywood Left Holding 10 Pounds Of Something Indescribably Undesirable In A 5 Pound Bag

Citizen Emanuel Back In The Mayoral Saddle Again, Many In Hollywood Left Holding 10 Pounds Of Something Indescribably Undesirable In A 5 Pound Bag

HOLLYWOOD - With word coming out of Chicago last week, that the Illinois Supreme Court voted 7-0 in favor of Rahm Emanuel's unwavering claims of in-town residency, the former erstwhile mayoral candidate of the Second City is now back on board as a new and improved, ready-for-full-time, play along for real, totally legit candidate for that burg's highest profile-like public office. (Not counting...
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Funny story: Don't Cry For Me Chicagoland: Rahm The Mon's Mayoral Bandwagon Leaves The Building, And Heads For The Farther Sun and Way Out There West Coast

Don't Cry For Me Chicagoland: Rahm The Mon's Mayoral Bandwagon Leaves The Building, And Heads For The Farther Sun and Way Out There West Coast

HOLLYWOOD - Have no fear Mr. and Mrs. Concerned Chicagoland Citizen, and greater Cook County lost ships at sea. Even though, your erstwhile, almost, but not quite, fearless leader, Rahm Emanuel's bid for the top dog, Chi-Town mayoral prize has apparently met with a major it-can bump in the road, due to his untimely failure to satisfy certain have to be there residency requirements, the longti...
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Funny story: Emanuel Promises Redemption & Resurrection as "More People, Both Dead & Alive, Want Me to be Mayor!"

Emanuel Promises Redemption & Resurrection as "More People, Both Dead & Alive, Want Me to be Mayor!"

An unrepentant Rahm Emanuel, seemingly denied his rightful ascension to the Chicago mayoral throne, claims that his write in candidacy will trump any legal proclamations to the contrary saying, "The will of the people, both dead and alive will preva...
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Funny story: Holy Dead Mackeral! Rahm Emanuel Not Eligible to Run For Chi Town Mayor According to 2 Appelate Court Judges Now Missing!

Holy Dead Mackeral! Rahm Emanuel Not Eligible to Run For Chi Town Mayor According to 2 Appelate Court Judges Now Missing!

Rahm Emanuel's Chicago Family has reportedly 'gone to the mattresses' after two of three appellate court judges ruled his mayoral bid is bogus due to residency requirements! Emanuel, former Chicago Underboss and US senator, who went on to Washingt...
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Funny story: Ear Muffs!! - Mr. Emanuel Goes Back To Chicago

Ear Muffs!! - Mr. Emanuel Goes Back To Chicago

CHICAGO - Former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel officially began his never in doubt quest to become Chicago's next mayor with a stunning hit-the-floor-gunning debut last Saturday before a seemingly wide awake throng of supporters shoehorned...
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Funny story: Yemeni terror plot theory bombs

Yemeni terror plot theory bombs

Langley, Va - (Shoo-in Bomber Mess): A massive great big Xmas bonus awaits the Vatican head of counter-antiterrorism CIA top brass said this weekend. Second only to '25 years of George W Bush sobriety' theories the 'Yemeni Al Qaeda' Chicago synago...
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Funny story: Chicago Shortage of Fish & Newspapers as Emanuel Sends Messages to Rivals!

Chicago Shortage of Fish & Newspapers as Emanuel Sends Messages to Rivals!

Fish mongers couldn't keep up with demand it was noted today, and issues of the Chicago Tribune were hard to find as Mayoral Candidate Rahm Emanuel continues to send out 'personal gift wrapped messages' to all those intent on opposing him in the up...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Secretly on Tap to Advise New Chief of Staff

Michael Moore Secretly on Tap to Advise New Chief of Staff

While it is true that Peter Rouse has taken over for Rahm Emanuel as White House Chief of Staff, there are rumors floating about the White House that it is Michael Moore and not Rouse who is now running the show for our President. Moore has been t...
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Funny story: Obama Shocker: I did not have sex with that Ballet Dancer, Rahm Emanuel!"

Obama Shocker: I did not have sex with that Ballet Dancer, Rahm Emanuel!"

A newly repentant President Barry Obama, having 'come to Jesus' a few hours ago, was forced to clarify his relationship with soon to be departed House Senior Advisor Rahm Emanuel, a former Ballet Dancer saying, "I did not have sex with that man!"...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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