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Funny satire stories about raccoons

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Funny story: Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage

Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage

Washington - US Secret Service director Julia Pierson has quit her job after a raccoon ran riot in the White House and marked the Lincoln Bedroom with its anal scent glands. Pierson had been criticised for not having taken the raccoon threat serio...
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Funny story: Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

"No way to treat a lady," the startled raccoon complained. She continued, "I was just stocking up on some manicure and pedicure supplies and minding my own business when some dames, clutching boxes of beauty supplies, started screeching at the si...
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Funny story: New Makeup Tip Makes Women More Attractive to Raccoons

New Makeup Tip Makes Women More Attractive to Raccoons

The Look of the Yearbook has noted that dark circles around eyes has made a comeback of sorts. Women around the world have begun to sport the look, which is accomplished in one of three ways: taking a stick of charcoal, sharpening the end, and coating it with olive oil, and then gently applying from the nose to the outer end of the eye, top and bottom. Or they get some lampblack, mix the lampblack...
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Funny story: Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

PUXICO, MO- Last weekend a Puxico resident noticed peculiar behavior among some of the furry critters that live on his farm. The raccoons were displaying signs of increased aggression, momentary fatigue, and a lack of hygiene. The local wildlife serv...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga Gets Makeup Tips from Raccoons Invading NYC

Lady Gaga Gets Makeup Tips from Raccoons Invading NYC

There have been so many raccoons spotted in New York City lately that a bill has been introduced in the City Council requiring the city to be responsible for trapping these uninvited visitors. But where some see a menace, entertainer Lady Ga...
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A spokesman for the U.S. State Department announced that Secretary of State John Kerry has been taken hostage by Iranian terrorists and is involved in negotiations demanding his immediate release.
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