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Funny satire stories about raccoons

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Funny story: Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

Irate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store

"No way to treat a lady," the startled raccoon complained. She continued, "I was just stocking up on some manicure and pedicure supplies and minding my own business when some dames, clutching boxes of beauty supplies, started screeching at the si...
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Funny story: New Makeup Tip Makes Women More Attractive to Raccoons

New Makeup Tip Makes Women More Attractive to Raccoons

The Look of the Yearbook has noted that dark circles around eyes has made a comeback of sorts. Women around the world have begun to sport the look, which is accomplished in one of three ways: taking a stick of charcoal, sharpening the end, and coating it with olive oil, and then gently applying from the nose to the outer end of the eye, top and bottom. Or they get some lampblack, mix the lampblack...
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Funny story: Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

PUXICO, MO- Last weekend a Puxico resident noticed peculiar behavior among some of the furry critters that live on his farm. The raccoons were displaying signs of increased aggression, momentary fatigue, and a lack of hygiene. The local wildlife serv...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga Gets Makeup Tips from Raccoons Invading NYC

Lady Gaga Gets Makeup Tips from Raccoons Invading NYC

There have been so many raccoons spotted in New York City lately that a bill has been introduced in the City Council requiring the city to be responsible for trapping these uninvited visitors. But where some see a menace, entertainer Lady Ga...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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