Finishing its mission and now on a free return trajectory to Earth, the Russian Mars Probe, also known by developing scientists as the "Burrowing Gerbil", is set for penetration of Earth's atmosphere sometime this weekend.
Not planned for survival...
Space aliens (as opposed to the illegal kind) have singled out the human population of Earth to provide free health care.
Backwater, TN - Aliens from the planet ~Frdcfvbflbmt! today admitted a massive mistake when they accidentally inserted a standard-issue redneck anal probe into a host's mouth.
Woodbury Heights, NJ -- 95 year old John Taylor, former chairman of the 1950's-era model train producer Tyco, was arrested today at the Woodbury Heights Serenity Gardens Nursing Home in connection with the Tyco International fraud investigatio...
The Space Explorer Beagle has been found in the backyard of Festus P. Hyman in Billings, Montana.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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