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Funny satire stories about prison reform

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Funny story: Prisoners to be stripped under new jail reforms

Prisoners to be stripped under new jail reforms

The Justice Secretary has today announced prison reforms in a bid to cut down waiting lists. Prisoners will no longer automatically receive perks such as clothing and absorbent toilet paper. Initially the prisoners will have to parade naked under...
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Funny story: Jodi Arias Needs a Man

Jodi Arias Needs a Man

Minutes after Arizona police interrogators told Jodi Arias that she would do life in prison and she would never see a naked man as long as she lives, Arias became psychotic. A July 15, 2008, video catches her sobbing that she was never going to h...
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Funny story: Alcatraz to reopen as prison

Alcatraz to reopen as prison

California officials are planning to reopen Alcatraz as a correctional facility by May, 2013. The shocking and sudden decision comes after the state officials announced California couldn't meet the U.S. Supreme Court ruling to remove tens of thousand...
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Funny story: HM Prison Services Swamped with Female Applications after Illicit Sex Allegations !

HM Prison Services Swamped with Female Applications after Illicit Sex Allegations !

A spokesperson for Her Majesty's Prison Service says the office can't handle the recent inundation of requests by unemployed females for jobs following the conviction of female warder Zanib Khan, 27, found guilty of juggling at least 5 unseemly rela...
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Funny story: 'Electric Bench' to be used in Texan Prisons

'Electric Bench' to be used in Texan Prisons

Texas Prison Chiefs today unveiled the electric-bench at a local state penitentiary after three years of research and development. The bench has been labeled "a fantastic breakthrough in the battle against rising prison numbers." The bench will al...
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Funny story: Sheila Granger wants to marry a black man

Sheila Granger wants to marry a black man

Sheila Granger, a southern Indiana woman, will spend 60 years behind bars for degrading herself with two white males. She will be released from prison at the age of 95-years-old. Granger was in a Clark County courtroom when she learned that she wi...
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Funny story: I'm Going, Going Away, Away From Cali, Cali

I'm Going, Going Away, Away From Cali, Cali

A judge in California has come up with a novel approach to dealing with the state's overcrowded penal system. Justice Anthony Kennedy is to sign papers that will release 143,000 prisoners back on to the streets and in to the community. In a speech...
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Funny story: Rodell Vereen and Barbara Kenley smell like horse shit

Rodell Vereen and Barbara Kenley smell like horse shit

LEGAL LOONY FARM- A South Carolina court house that sentenced a black man to prison for having sex with a horse refused to press charges against the same man for having sex with three young white males that were housed in the same prison cell where...
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Funny story: New Year's Day 'dismantling' of Ford Prison, Arundel, West Sussex, is in line with Kenneth Clarke's determination to close down prisons!

New Year's Day 'dismantling' of Ford Prison, Arundel, West Sussex, is in line with Kenneth Clarke's determination to close down prisons!

Ford Prison, West Sussex: Following the New Year's Day rampage at Ford prison, Kenneth Clarke wishes to reassure people worried about a more liberal approach to crime, Mr Clarke is examining measures to make community penalties much tougher. Ken...
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Funny story: Prisoners to work forty hour weeks

Prisoners to work forty hour weeks

UK Prisoners are to be made to work for forty hours a week under new guidelines from the home office. "The devil is in the detail," said Ken Clarke. "Who will supervise them? What will they do?" A sneak peak at what is to come answers both of t...
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Funny story: The Bee Gees reform and ask Dame Vera Lynn to "Zimmerframe along"

The Bee Gees reform and ask Dame Vera Lynn to "Zimmerframe along"

The highly respected dead Bee Gees are to reform and the ones that are still alive might just go along for the Bucks! Also, Dame Vera Lynn has been asked to do vocals on her zimmerframe! (Reason: Vera Lynn is currently rocketing up the UK charts w...
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Funny story: Grisly Risley gets seal of approval

Grisly Risley gets seal of approval

When news broke of the problems at Risley jail, near Warrington in Cheshire (UK), the home office saw an opportunity. The category 'C' training prison (they train people to be prisoners) was investigated in 2007, and the report released this week...
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Funny story: UK charity fights for prison reforms

UK charity fights for prison reforms

London (Neuters) - Susan Meredith Thomson-Ellis From the Charity for Relaxation of Abuse to Convicts and Erroneous Rehabilitation Services or C.R.A.C.K.E.R.S has handed in a petition and made a heart felt appeal to Gordon Brown at 10 Downing Street t...
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Funny story: Study: Bullies not reported soon enough

Study: Bullies not reported soon enough

Concerned parents around the world are increasingly worried about the sheer number of bullies harassing their children. "It's becoming an epidemic here and in other schools everywhere," said a Canadian education official.
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Funny story: Sick man robs bank for medical benefits

Sick man robs bank for medical benefits

(Seattle, WA) A downtown Seafirst bank was robbed at daybreak by a teen disguised with vegetation duct-taped to his body in imitation of a recent New Hampshire robbery.
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Funny story: Charles Bronson In £30,000 Damages Award

Charles Bronson In £30,000 Damages Award

A notorious inmate at Full Sutton jail in East Yorkshire, has been awarded compensation amounting to thousands of pounds after a prison officer callously woke him from an afternoon nap.
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Funny story: London Alert After 'Fiend' Talks to Neighbour

London Alert After 'Fiend' Talks to Neighbour

Armed police closed off areas of Hackney today, after a man talked to his neighbour sparking off a major security alert. The man, Den Macintosh who got away, is thought to have visited several shops, buying...
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