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All Priests Should Be Castrated After Taking Vows says Children's Council

Funny story: All Priests Should Be Castrated After Taking Vows says Children's Council

Dr. Meyer Pipick, head of The World Council to Prevent Child Rape, said today from Berne, Switzerland has announced that castration is the only way to stop priests from sexually violating children. He said: 'It is now obvious that nothing can sto...

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Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...

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Pope Francis Fires Five Priests

Funny story: Pope Francis Fires Five Priests

VATICAN CITY - The Vatican View News Agency is reporting that Pope Francis has just fired five priests that were based in the Vatican. A spokesperson for the pope said that the five priests were caught printing counterfeit bingo cards. Four of...

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Pope Francis Warns Joan Rivers She Better Stop With Her Hate-Filled, Venom-Spewing Ways Or She'll End Up In Hell

Funny story: Pope Francis Warns Joan Rivers She Better Stop With Her Hate-Filled, Venom-Spewing Ways Or She'll End Up In Hell

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis recently stated to a group of Cardinal trainees at the Vatican that he cannot stress enough the fact that they need to remember the tremendous lawsuits that a group of libido-crazed priests have cost the church. He told...

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Pope Likes Gay Men Better Than Women

Pope Francis shocked reporters on Monday when he stated that he was "comfortable" with gay men as priests, but was quick to point out that this largesse did not extend to ordaining women to the priesthood. "Gay men may be flawed in the eyes of God, b...

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Pope: Who am I to judge women priests?

Funny story: Pope: Who am I to judge women priests?

Rome - The Pope has said women priests should not be marginalized but integrated into society and stuff. During a media address on the return flight from Rio Pope Frankie-the-Argie reaffirmed the Vatican position on women as one small crotch - er.

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Gay And Lesbian Reproductive Rate Lower Than Mendoza Line

Funny story: Gay And Lesbian Reproductive Rate Lower Than Mendoza Line

BILLINGSGATE POST - The United States Census Bureau released new numbers that indicate that the ability of gays and lesbians to replace themselves through reproduction has fallen below the "Mendoza Line" benchmark. The importance of this statistic...

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Cardinals from the Western Hemisphere gather in unauthorized conclave

Funny story: Cardinals from the Western Hemisphere gather in unauthorized conclave

TORNADO, WV (ABSNN) - An unauthorized conclave of Cardinals from the Western Hemisphere has been gathering for the past four weeks in this tiny West Virginia hamlet. Dressed in their scarlet robes, and attended by nuns wearing earth tones, priests...

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Pacifist priests have broom battle in Bethlehem!

Funny story: Pacifist priests have broom battle in Bethlehem!

Two rival groups of priests, one holier than the other, have fought out a broom battle in the church where Jesus is believed to have been born. A group of Greek orthodox priests grabbed every broom available to knock the lights out of a group of Arme...

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Pope lifts ban on condoms

Funny story: Pope lifts ban on condoms

Pope Benedict, in his wisdom, has lifted the Catholic Church's ban on condoms. Many Catholics praise his wisdom. Many 'lapsed Catholics' are rushing back to their churches in droves. Many non-Catholics, even atheists, are converting to Catholicism...

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