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Funny satire stories about presidential pardon

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Trump.com™ pardons 129 serial killers including Sheriff Arpaio

Funny story: Trump.com™ pardons 129 serial killers including Sheriff Arpaio

Cowering behind the Texas hurricane Trump.com™ has committed yet another impeachable act and pardoned Americas 129 of the US worst serial killers. They are to be employed as Trump.com™ personal protection group and also assist sheriff...

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Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Funny story: Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...

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Trump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!

In a video today President Donald Trump, once again, shocked and dismayed America. In a voice that, at the least, tried to be dramatic. Trump said in a voice eerily similar to Moms Mabley's famous rendition of Abraham, Martin and John that he was par...

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Trump Pardons Himself

Funny story: Trump Pardons Himself

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words "Pardon me" with regularity. Although the President blames his chef's spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worri...

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Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Funny story: Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...

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Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

Funny story: Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON -- In the wake of the Senate Select Committee Report on CIA torture showing a grisly, reckless brutality, a violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Geneva Accords, President Obama issued himself a pardon for possible illegal activities...

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Turkey pardoned by President found dead of an apparent suicide

Funny story: Turkey pardoned by President found dead of an apparent suicide

Washington, D.C. Mac, one of the Thanksgiving turkeys recently pardoned by President Obama was found dead today of a self-inflicted hatchet wound. A spokesperson for the family of Mac the Turkey, say that he was very depressed after returning fro...

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Obama pardons America's fattest and stupidest turkey: Karl Rove of Fox News

Funny story: Obama pardons America's fattest and stupidest turkey: Karl Rove of Fox News

WASHINTON, DC (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama carried on the tradition of pardoning a turkey this Thanksgiving, but the recipient of the clemency, Karl Rove, was not at all impressed. "We received requests to pardon more than 50,000 turkeys this...

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Wrong 'Turkey ' Giving Thanks to White House

There has been a mix up in the annual presidential pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey, as a White House aide unwittingly pardoned Turkey the country instead of an actual turkey. It is, as yet, unclear what exactly Turkey has been pardoned of, but...

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Turkey Pardoned by Bush Kills Family in Upper New York State

Funny story: Turkey Pardoned by Bush Kills Family in Upper New York State

Flower, a turkey pardoned by President Bush in November of 2007, is now accused of murdering a family of 5 in upper New York State. The Norton family of Rowling, New York, were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon at home when the alleged crime took pla...

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Top Ten Reasons Why Bush didn't sign any Presidential Pardons:

Funny story: Top Ten Reasons Why Bush didn't sign any Presidential Pardons:

10) Bush was confident that history would absolve his actions (and those acting under his authority) that was fully sanctioned by Congress; freely surrendering their Constitutional power to declare war to our nation's Twenty-First Century wartime president. 9) Bush didn't know how to translate the word "Pardon" from Mexican into Texican. 8) Sometime during the "Last Night in the White House...

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Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Funny story: Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Washington, D.C. - Immediately before issuing the customary seasonal Presidential pardon to this year's White House turkey in the Rose Garden before a wall of flashing lights of the press pool, Bush just walked out of the West Wing where he issue...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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