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Funny story: Bill Cosby adopts a pet

Bill Cosby adopts a pet

Bill Cosby also known as Silver Fox makes another clever move by adopting a dog, it wasn't as easy as the actor expected. After seeing a video of an abandoned canine on an animal shelter's website, the 77-year-old actor fell in love with the dog's...
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Funny story: Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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Funny story: First Gay Cat To Sue Indiana Kennel

First Gay Cat To Sue Indiana Kennel

French Lick, Indiana - Duane Fick, 27, can assure the presiding judge in his upcoming trial that his beloved cat, Fuggles, is pissed-seriously pissed. And from what this reporter can gather, that piece of evidence seems to hold true. "Fuggles has nev...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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Funny story: Latest Handy Tidbits for Pocket Pet Owners

Latest Handy Tidbits for Pocket Pet Owners

As a helpful service to those wonderful people who love, cherish, and keep little furry friends, we at the National Vole Advocacy Alliance provide the following useful tidbits for Pocket Pet (PP) owners. When carrying your wee furry guys to work, remember to keep your pockets fresh with PP litter. Letting your little Pocket Pet buddy run loose in the Mall is a great way to meet new people.
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Funny story: Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

Hello. My name is Jackson Hoff. As a life-long editor of one publication after another, I feel it is my responsibility, occasionally, to supply a sharp, biting view of (insert topic here). I've thought long and hard about that responsibility. I think that was at breakfast like a week ago. I bet I spent 20 minutes straight kicking that around. I was deep into it when the cat knocked my pineapple ju...
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Funny story: Looking After Your Pets

Looking After Your Pets

Animal rights groups have brought to BATTL news attention that due to financial constraints more and more people are dumping their pets. This is despicable treatment of a living creature that relys on us for love, support and sustenance. Aren't we as humans supposed to be inventive and adaptable? Weren't we the ones who put a man on the moon and invented Velcro? If we are this all conquering,...
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Funny story: Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

The new Archbishop of Glastonbury has spoken of how his life has changed since he discovered that his pet bears had been secretly drinking. The Most Rev Jasper Selby has had three pet bears (Bruin, Cuddly and Yogi) for 10 years. They've always bee...
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Funny story: Pet tortoise makes rapid return

Pet tortoise makes rapid return

A pet tortoise disappeared from a house in Hooselow but was discovered after five minutes scooting back through the side entrance. This could well be a world record for the return of a pet tortoise. Most tortoises disappear for weeks at a time, an...
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Funny story: San Francisco to Open First LGBT SPCA

San Francisco to Open First LGBT SPCA

San Francisco, CA - now that the Presidential election is over and once again, Democrats will get another kick at the can, certain programs, such as the one proposed by the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transexual SPCA might stand a better...
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Funny story: 'Cougars' responsible for Seattle pet deaths!

'Cougars' responsible for Seattle pet deaths!

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON (ABSNN) - Seattle police confirmed today "the brutal and senseless killings of 219 companion animals" in the past two weeks. The killings were committed by 'Cougars,' but not of the feline, four-legged variety." Kings County S...
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Funny story: Years of Speech Therapy Fail to Help Talking Dog

Years of Speech Therapy Fail to Help Talking Dog

Despite years of intensive, and expensive, speech therapy, Priscilla the talking Poodle can still not pronounce her "L"'s and "Y"'s. She is now doomed to go through life telling her doting owner and best friend "I wuv woo!" The dog, a popular subj...
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Funny story: Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States Could Be Heading To UK

Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States Could Be Heading To UK

Pet owners wanting to turn their pets into lookalikes of their favourite celebrities, a craze that began in Los Angeles, could be headed to the UK. Plastic surgery for dogs and cats is big business in Tinsel Town where pet owners are paying in exc...
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Funny story: Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

What if the law of the jungle were also the law of kindness, compassion, and love? Well, if East Village kitty Sammy Mesda has anything to do with it, one day it very well could be. Sammy, whose blackness, litheness, and sleekness can only call...
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Funny story: Bermondsey cats and dogs home bought by Korean partners

Bermondsey cats and dogs home bought by Korean partners

World renowned Bermondsey cats and dogs home has been rescued at the last minute from certain bankruptcy, after huge debts would have closed the centre within weeks and that would have meant certain death for all the animal residents. Luckily,...
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Funny story: Dark matter discovered in Yorkshire town - council cuts crap on night time dog fouling

Dark matter discovered in Yorkshire town - council cuts crap on night time dog fouling

Huddersfield Council in northern England are fed up to the teeth of complaints about nocturnal emissions of the canine kind. It seems that people are allowing their best friends to litter the pavements with dog logs. Theresa Green, an ex-peace cam...
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Funny story: Vet's Practice Challenged by Activists

Vet's Practice Challenged by Activists

A veterinarian in Toronto, Ontario is in trouble with animal rights activists for circumcising male puppies. Peter Skinner, who has run his practice for seven years, says there is high demand for the procedure, which is usually performed on Doberman...
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Funny story: Plastic surgery is going to the dogs

Plastic surgery is going to the dogs

Plastic surgery for dogs is the hottest thing in Hollywood right now, and many practitioners are struggling to keep up. Not so Dr Michael Sag, a leading plastic surgeon who predicted the trend over a decade ago and runs the wildly successful Canine...
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Breaking News...

Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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