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Funny story: QPR, Peter Crouch, a monkey and a giraffe

QPR, Peter Crouch, a monkey and a giraffe

QPR are haggling with Tottenham to pick up a bargain Peter Crouch. Local lad Peter Crouch was given the moniker 'Rodney' by Rangers fans when he first displayed his lanky frame down Shepherd's Bush: "Crouchie was a dead ringer for Rodney Trotter fr...
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Funny story: QPR bid for cut price Crouch

QPR bid for cut price Crouch

QPR boss Neil Warnock is hoping to do a cut price deal with Harry Redknapp for Tottenham's lanky striker Peter Crouch. But while the skint Premier League new boys are unable to stump up a transfer fee, they could pay a significant proportion of th...
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Funny story: Harry Redknapp Offloads Peter Crouch To Liverpool - Targets Balotelli

Harry Redknapp Offloads Peter Crouch To Liverpool - Targets Balotelli

Latest news from the Lane suggests that Liverpool officials are close to negotiating a return to Anfield for Peter Crouch, and that Spurs intend to use the money in part payment for tempestuous Italian hitman Mario Balotelli, who has been told he can...
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Funny story: Ex Liverpool footballer slams "anorexic fairies"

Ex Liverpool footballer slams "anorexic fairies"

Ex Liverpool ace Jan Molby has called the current crop of players "anorexic fairies". The Danish Scouser claims they have no appetite for the game and wouldn't have survived in his day. "Only the Argie Carlos Tevez could have competed at our le...
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Funny story: Crouchy Left on the Bench again... at Disneyworld Paris

Crouchy Left on the Bench again... at Disneyworld Paris

Shock horror this week as professional footballer and Bambi-on-ice impersonator Peter Crouch was forcefully evicted from Disneyland Paris. The 6'7" footballer was on holiday this weekend to escape recent media speculation that his partner Abbey Cl...
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Funny story: Abbey Clancy And Peter Crouch Having A Baby - "I Don't Believe It!" Says Victor Mildew

Abbey Clancy And Peter Crouch Having A Baby - "I Don't Believe It!" Says Victor Mildew

There was one person who didn't greet the news that WAG extraordinaire, Abbey Clancy, and vertically unchallenged whoremongering Tottenham and England striker, Peter Crouch are to have a baby, with the traditional 'Aaaah! Bless!' Victor Mildew, of...
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Funny story: Shagging and whoring stats to be included in footballer Trump cards

Shagging and whoring stats to be included in footballer Trump cards

Oh the times, they are a changing, as an old man once said when he was a bit younger, and it's true, they are a changing. In the world of the popular kids card game, Trumps and football, otherwise known as "soccer", to people who can't spell words...
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Funny story: Peter Crouch & Abbey Revelations Rock England & Spurs

Peter Crouch & Abbey Revelations Rock England & Spurs

England and Spurs have been rocked by revelations about lanky striker Peter Crouch's relationship with Abbey Clancey. The shock follows hot on the heels of the Wayne Rooney hooker scandal and is likely to cause more upheaval in the England camp.
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Funny story: Spurs Brush Young Boys Aside In Favour Of Bigger Boys

Spurs Brush Young Boys Aside In Favour Of Bigger Boys

Champions League - White Hart Lane - On a wet Wednesday night there was jubilation in Tottingham as Spurs became the third London club to reach the Champions League group stages, although a side from the capital is yet to win the coveted trophy. S...
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Funny story: Abbey's Young Boys Fears

Abbey's Young Boys Fears

WAG Abbey Clancy has apparently taken a two-week break from her TV show for clear-the-air talks with England and Spurs striker Peter Crouch. She fears the lanky forward has allegedly been "playing away" with a series of mistresses. But a source...
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Funny story: Abbey Clancy Says She'll Take Peter Crouch Back If He Promises To Stop Doing His Robot Dance

Abbey Clancy Says She'll Take Peter Crouch Back If He Promises To Stop Doing His Robot Dance

Pretty vulnerable scouse TV personality Abbey Clancy has told friends that she's prepared to give 'sex pest' fiance Peter Crouch a third chance (he had a second chance last week) - providing he stops doing his 'robot dance' in nightclubs. This lat...
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Funny story: Abbey Clancy - That's It, I'm Off!

Abbey Clancy - That's It, I'm Off!

TV star and WAG Abbey Clancy - famous for being a TV star and a WAG - has apparently called it a day and jetted off to the Balearic island of Majorca to join her mam after revelations in the press that fiance Peter Crouch had paid teenage Algerian pr...
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Funny story: The Latest in The Peter Crouch-Monica Mint Scandal - Mint Wants To Steal Derek Hough Away From Cheryl Cole

The Latest in The Peter Crouch-Monica Mint Scandal - Mint Wants To Steal Derek Hough Away From Cheryl Cole

LONDON - The developments in the Peter Crouch - Monica Mint Scandal are developing faster than Heidi Montag's breasts. It now appears that the gorgeously sexy Spanish prostitute has told a very close friend of hers that her next goal is to take Ch...
View 'The Latest in The Peter Crouch-Monica Mint Scandal - Mint Wants To Steal Derek Hough Away From Cheryl Cole'
Funny story: Peter Crouch - "Yes I do want to have my cake and eat it!"

Peter Crouch - "Yes I do want to have my cake and eat it!"

Peter Crouch has today sensationally stated that he both wants to have his cake and eat it. In a bold move he voiced the thoughts of a thousand footballers admitting that whilst he had a tall, slim, attractive girlfriend/wife at home he still wan...
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Funny story: Abbey Clancy Consults With Toni Terry Over Peter Crouch Sex Scandal

Abbey Clancy Consults With Toni Terry Over Peter Crouch Sex Scandal

As the world of football was once again left reeling with revelations of yet another sex scandal - the fiancee of Peter Crouch, the delectable Croxteth raised Abbey Clancy, friend of roly poly TV comedian James Corden, decided to consult an expert in...
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Funny story: Monica Mint Stimulates Brain Scientist To Weigh Crouch's Testicles

Monica Mint Stimulates Brain Scientist To Weigh Crouch's Testicles

Leading brain scientist, Dr Felix Birdbath, has been studying underlying background reasons which might help explain why millionaire footballers risk their health and reputation by diving into bed with prostitutes. Birdbath suspects there must be...
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Funny story: Monica Mint From Real Madrid In Exchange For Peter Crouch

Monica Mint From Real Madrid In Exchange For Peter Crouch

Hot news on the football transfer front! Not just any old front! More a Double DD front of the sort that even Cristiano Ronaldo wouldn't mind wrapping his ears round overnight. Teenage temptress Monica Mint has decided to walk out on Real Madri...
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Funny story: Lanky footystar, Peter Crouch, beds a "hooker" because his fiancee is too tall!

Lanky footystar, Peter Crouch, beds a "hooker" because his fiancee is too tall!

England footy international, Peter Crouch, better known for his length and heading ability than his sexual excapades bedded a Nigerian Hooker because his fiancee is a bit too tall and doesn't give him enough downward "head-ers". Peter explained:...
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