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Funny story:  Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Olympic officials have been asking themselves if Marijuana should be outright banned for all athletes who plan to participate in the Olympic games, now that it has become more accepted and legal in certain parts of the world. Speculation has risen...
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Funny story:  Major League Baseball Will Start Testing Umpires For Performance Enhancing Drugs in 2014

Major League Baseball Will Start Testing Umpires For Performance Enhancing Drugs in 2014

NEW YORK CITY - The Major League Baseball Coalition on Drug Testing has just informed all MLB umpires that in 2014, before the start of the preseason they will be tested for PEB's. A representative with the MLBCDT Harrison Blittkinboro, 51, told t...
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Funny story:  Major League Baseball Mascot Reprimanded For Failing Performance Enhancing Drug Test

Major League Baseball Mascot Reprimanded For Failing Performance Enhancing Drug Test

NEW YORK CITY - The Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal is really getting out of hand and it has now reached a new level or rather depth. Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has tested positive for performance enha...
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Funny story:  Major League Baseball May Start Prosecuting PED Violators

Major League Baseball May Start Prosecuting PED Violators

NEW YORK CITY - Major League Baseball is embarrassed at the black eye that it has received due to some of its players using performance enhancing drugs in order to gain an unfair advantage in the country's national pastime. Monroe "Knuckleball" Sa...
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Funny story:  Ryan Braun of The Milwaukee Brewers Says He Now Recalls Having Taken PED's

Ryan Braun of The Milwaukee Brewers Says He Now Recalls Having Taken PED's

MILWAUKEE - Milwaukee Brewers' Ryan Braun who was suspended for 65 games and swore that he never took performance enhancing drugs has just changed his tune. The Brewers outfielder told Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti that he now seems...
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Funny story:  A-Rod Is Invited To Join José Canseco, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds For Friday Night Cards

A-Rod Is Invited To Join José Canseco, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds For Friday Night Cards

MIAMI - Former Major League Baseball player José Canseco has reportedly called up suspended New York Yankees player Alex Rodriguez. Canseco who was found to have used steroids during his playing days decided to call up A-Rod and invite him to join...
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Funny story:  MLB Bans Sunflower Seeds: Create Competitive Advantage By Lowering Cholesterol

MLB Bans Sunflower Seeds: Create Competitive Advantage By Lowering Cholesterol

"This game has no place for chewers, spitters, and cheaters..." With those words, Major League Baseball Commissioner, Bud Selig lowered the gavel on sunflower seeds in big league dugouts. MLB and the Players Association came to the agreement late...
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Funny story:  Baseball's All-Stars Cancel Steroid Game

Baseball's All-Stars Cancel Steroid Game

Citi Field, New York -- Major League Baseball has canceled its newest All-Star attraction. Called the Steroid Juice-Off, the event would have showcased how Performance-Enhancing Drugs turn ordinary mooks into muscle-bound Babe Ruth's. "We thoug...
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Funny story:  US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

The recent heart-warming words of Lance Armstrong have inspired a wave of appeals from prisoners on Death Row in America to commute their sentences to a 'life-time ban from competitive cycling'. US legal experts are said to be scratching their he...
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Funny story:  Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Lance Armstrong has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show to apologise for his performance enhancing drug use over seven seperate Tour de France titles. However he has since denied rumours that he was under the influence of drugs to make the apology.
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Funny story:  Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...
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Funny story:  Armstrong admits doping

Armstrong admits doping

Astronaut Neil Armstrong, deceased, has sensationally revealed that when he made his unique journey to the Moon he was using a now-banned chemical substance to enhance his performance. Critics have called for Armstrong to be deleted from the histo...
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Funny story:  Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Lance Armstrong has called the rumours surrounding his so-called drug taking during the Tour De France as complete and utter nonsense! But he does admit to taking perfomance enhancers before the Tour and during it too and these are certainly not drug...
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Funny story:  London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

Warnings have been issued to more than half of all athletes competing at the London Olympic Games for exploiting supernatural performance enhancing stimulants. Last July, the act of "Asking God for divine intervention" was added to the list of pr...
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Funny story:  The Stadium is Nice...The Experience - Repulsive

The Stadium is Nice...The Experience - Repulsive

MIAMI - Since the Dan Marino Era came to an end, Dolphins football has never been the same. The front office has scurried the open market like an addict looking for a quick fix - mulishly passing on Drew Brees in the process. And like most junkies,...
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Funny story:  Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Dorking Zoo Keeper, Stavros Jones, improved his brainpower three-fold by smoking the malted fur from various primates at the zoo he is employed at an un-named conservation park in Surrey. Stavros, a keen botanist when not tending to primates, boas...
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Funny story:  Drug shame threatens future of Tour de Farce

Drug shame threatens future of Tour de Farce

ORGANISERS of the prestigious Tour de Farce cycle race are considering how to save the event following revelations that two unnamed cyclists have tested negative for performance enhancing drugs. It has been alleged that officials were aware of the...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan Backs Out of Lead in Remake of "Splendor in the Grass" After Learning It's a Love Story, Not a Drug Story!

Lindsay Lohan Backs Out of Lead in Remake of "Splendor in the Grass" After Learning It's a Love Story, Not a Drug Story!

Dina Lohan, the controlling behind the scenes Mother from Hell, said she was furious after learning that daughter Lindsay had refused to sign the contract for the lead in the remake of "Splendor in the Grass" that had helped Natalie Wood shoot to sta...
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True Facts From Snoops #1345

When alarmed, Oprah Winfrey can swell up to five times her normal size. She was taught this by Dr. Oz.

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