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Funny satire stories about pepper spray

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Funny story:  Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

NEW YORK CITY - An NYPD policeman said that he has been a police officer for 14 years. Officer Dwayne Peckashevski, 39, said that he has been working security on Black Friday at various department stores for the past 10 years and he has never seen...
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Funny story:  The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

PORTER RANCH, California - Mikey Champ is the attorney representing the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer who has now been identified by the entire U.S. news media as Elizabeth "Lizzy" Macias, 32. Macias, who describes herself as a devoted shop...
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Funny story:  Department Store Santa was Pepper Sprayed by Vindictive Kid

Department Store Santa was Pepper Sprayed by Vindictive Kid

A Pasadena, California Stacy's department store Santa was pepper sprayed this afternoon by a kid bent on revenge for not getting what he asked for, for last year's Christmas. The kid, eight year old local bully Bugger Maloney, wanted to see Santa in...
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Funny story:  Congressman Ron Paul Talks About Tasering and Pepper Spraying

Congressman Ron Paul Talks About Tasering and Pepper Spraying

EAST LOS ANGELES - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, who is 76-years-old, was speaking to a crowd of well-wishers in East Los Angeles when he was asked if he would ever consider making a citizens arrest. Paul thought for a moment. He grinned and the...
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Funny story:  California Passes Law Okaying the Use of Pepper Spray Indiscriminately

California Passes Law Okaying the Use of Pepper Spray Indiscriminately

The California Senate has just passed a bill to allow a person to use pepper spray at their own discretion without being held criminally accountable. The bill was signed into law earlier this afternoon by California Governor Jerry Brown. Minutes...
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Funny story:  The Porter Ranch, California Police Have Released The Black Friday Pepper Sprayer!

The Porter Ranch, California Police Have Released The Black Friday Pepper Sprayer!

PORTER RANCH, California - Police in the San Fernando Valley town of Porter Ranch have released the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer and are still trying to figure out if they should file charges against her. What? According to Fuchsia Garfunk...
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Funny story:  California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

PORTER RANCH, California - Porter Ranch, the town in the San Fernando Valley resembled 1880s Tombstone, Arizona, more than it did a modern day California city on Black Friday. The Porter Ranch Police Department received calls that a crazy shopper...
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Funny story:  Pepper Spray Tans Catching on with College Campus Protesters

Pepper Spray Tans Catching on with College Campus Protesters

With all of their leftover disposable income being spent on college tuition rate hikes, students all over America are finding it harder and harder to find the money for extras to make themselves more appealing to potential partners. "We were count...
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Funny story:  The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

The annual War on Christmas has already taken its toll this year, with atheist billboards going up next to highways across the country, shocking the sensibilities of Christians on their way to Wal-Mart. But some Christians have found a way to fight b...
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