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Funny story: NASA Retracts Warning Of Imminent Cataclysmic Asteroid Impact With Earth

NASA Retracts Warning Of Imminent Cataclysmic Asteroid Impact With Earth

Washington D.C. - The United States' National Aeronautics and Space Administration, NASA, has retracted the warning it issued yesterday regarding a huge asteroid's imminent impact with Earth, which would have led to cataclysmic devastation of the ent...
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Funny story: Feds Threaten to Flood Markets if U.S. Loans Called In!

Feds Threaten to Flood Markets if U.S. Loans Called In!

The Federal Government has privately warned that if any countries should try to call in huge loans, they will quit trading and begin producing that country's legal tender by sophisticated copiers. "A lot of other countries have copied our dollars...
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Funny story: Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

A man has amazed doctors and workers at a hospital by waking up after being declared dead two days before. The family had waited till several family members could arrive to hold the funeral in Nairobi, Kenya. Meanwhile a worker at the morgue b...
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Funny story: Big Rat Reported in Texas Causing Panic!

Big Rat Reported in Texas Causing Panic!

Middleton, Texas: Officers in West Texas who answered calls about a huge rat chasing people around the neighborhood at night are out watching to see if it shows up again. "I don't care how big the rat is, this old shotgun will blow that sucker aw...
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Funny story: Kim Jog-On: "Who's Raffing Now?"

Kim Jog-On: "Who's Raffing Now?"

Political tension and intrigue was at an all time high today as the world prepared itself, again, to be invaded by North Korea. London, Washington, Moscow and Beijing were put on DEFCON 5 meaning that a nuclear air strike was imminent at any moment.
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Funny story: Mystery Of 'Sonic Boom' Explained

Mystery Of 'Sonic Boom' Explained

The mystery surrounding the infamous sonic boom heard across the south of England has finally been explained, as government officials released a statement this afternoon. Panic stricken witnesses flooded the emergency services with calls after the...
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Funny story: Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Gold Falls, Breaks Fifth Metatarsal

Amid reports of the strengthening U.S. Dollar, and reports of financial market adjustments proposed by Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the price of golf fell significantly in open trading today, forcing at least one man to be rushed to hospit...
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Funny story: Time to panic!

Time to panic!

"A study by the National Institutes of Health in the US suggests that mobile phones could have an effect on the brain.They reported higher sugar use in the brain, a sign of increased activity, after 50 minutes on the phone.The research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association said the clinical significance was unknown." (BBC News 24/2/2011) Meanwhile, RISP (Research Into Stu...
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Funny story: Pandemonium as Heinz workers threaten to strike. Bean eaters panic!

Pandemonium as Heinz workers threaten to strike. Bean eaters panic!

"Workers at food giant Heinz are to go on strike in a pay row. Unite said its members at the firm's factory in Wigan will walk out for 24 hours from next Wednesday evening and launch a continuous ban on overtime." Residents of the U.K. are rush...
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Funny story: Pentagon panic over recent activity

Pentagon panic over recent activity

The U.S military has begun an urgent high level inquiry into the events of today. No car bombs were reported from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, India, Spain, or anywhere else in the world. In addition to these worrying developments, North Korean Presi...
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Funny story: Asteroid Headed This Way, Explains Secret US Military Rocket Launch

Asteroid Headed This Way, Explains Secret US Military Rocket Launch

The recent launching of a U.S. military rocket finally began making sense today even though the military still will not discuss it. However, our reporters have uncovered a copy of half-shredded military records that say that headquarters in Housto...
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Funny story: Bastards! - Consumer Groups Slam Brit Panic Buyers

Bastards! - Consumer Groups Slam Brit Panic Buyers

Consumer groups here in arctic Britain today launched a scathing attack on Britain's selfish, uncaring panic-buying hoarders, labelling them as "Bastards!" In supermarkets all over the country, shoppers were greeted by empty fresh veg sections, em...
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Funny story: Media Panic "to return in autumn"

Media Panic "to return in autumn"

Whilst distraught hacks looked on, a spokesperson for All Media today announced that "the grotesque and disproportionate panic about Swine Flu which so many of us have worked so hard to generate in the last two weeks has now receded. But we are confi...
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Funny story: Panic Not Called For, But Never-The-Less, Expected

Panic Not Called For, But Never-The-Less, Expected

The Interior Ministry of Great Britain thought it prudent to reassure the country's citizens about the recent hug received by Her Majesty from the United States first lady, Michelle Obama, so this is to be published in all major United States and Bri...
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Funny story: Obama Administration to Teach Americans How to Panic

Obama Administration to Teach Americans How to Panic

The Obama administration today promised that by the time 2012 comes around Americans will not only know how to panic but will have good reason to. The promise comes just days after President Obama said that he was "dissatisfied" with the reaction to...
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Funny story: Unidentified Aircraft causes panic!

Unidentified Aircraft causes panic!

The military forces of Russia and other European countries remain on high alert this morning after an unidentified aircraft overflew most of the continent last evening. The event began when an unknown supersonic aircraft conducted a low altitude h...
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Funny story: Small Investors should remain calm and not panic, brokers advise

Small Investors should remain calm and not panic, brokers advise

Mumbai - Broker Ashwini Gujral advised small investors to keep their calm, even as Sensex plunged by another 400 points today. "Small investors need not panic every time there is a sharp fall in the markets. Leave the panic to professionals like u...
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Funny story: Havoc as BBC Website freezes for 7 seconds

Havoc as BBC Website freezes for 7 seconds

Life seemed so normal at 12.36pm and 20 seconds, but at 12.37pm and 21 seconds the world was turned upside down when the BBC Website froze. Chaos and rioting ensued in the streets of Britain, the biggest since a traffic light froze for 22 seconds at...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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