Political tension and intrigue was at an all time high today as the world prepared itself, again, to be invaded by North Korea. London, Washington, Moscow and Beijing were put on DEFCON 5 meaning that a nuclear air strike was imminent at any moment.
The mystery surrounding the infamous sonic boom heard across the south of England has finally been explained, as government officials released a statement this afternoon.
Panic stricken witnesses flooded the emergency services with calls after the...
Amid reports of the strengthening U.S. Dollar, and reports of financial market adjustments proposed by Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the price of golf fell significantly in open trading today, forcing at least one man to be rushed to hospit...
"A study by the National Institutes of Health in the US suggests that mobile phones could have an effect on the brain.They reported higher sugar use in the brain, a sign of increased activity, after 50 minutes on the phone.The research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association said the clinical significance was unknown." (BBC News 24/2/2011)
Meanwhile, RISP (Research Into Stu...
"Workers at food giant Heinz are to go on strike in a pay row.
Unite said its members at the firm's factory in Wigan will walk out for 24 hours from next Wednesday evening and launch a continuous ban on overtime."
Residents of the U.K. are rush...
The U.S military has begun an urgent high level inquiry into the events of today. No car bombs were reported from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, India, Spain, or anywhere else in the world. In addition to these worrying developments, North Korean Presi...
The recent launching of a U.S. military rocket finally began making sense today even though the military still will not discuss it.
However, our reporters have uncovered a copy of half-shredded military records that say that headquarters in Housto...
Consumer groups here in arctic Britain today launched a scathing attack on Britain's selfish, uncaring panic-buying hoarders, labelling them as "Bastards!"
In supermarkets all over the country, shoppers were greeted by empty fresh veg sections, em...
Whilst distraught hacks looked on, a spokesperson for All Media today announced that "the grotesque and disproportionate panic about Swine Flu which so many of us have worked so hard to generate in the last two weeks has now receded. But we are confi...
The Interior Ministry of Great Britain thought it prudent to reassure the country's citizens about the recent hug received by Her Majesty from the United States first lady, Michelle Obama, so this is to be published in all major United States and Bri...
The Obama administration today promised that by the time 2012 comes around Americans will not only know how to panic but will have good reason to. The promise comes just days after President Obama said that he was "dissatisfied" with the reaction to...
The military forces of Russia and other European countries remain on high alert this morning after an unidentified aircraft overflew most of the continent last evening.
The event began when an unknown supersonic aircraft conducted a low altitude h...
Mumbai - Broker Ashwini Gujral advised small investors to keep their calm, even as Sensex plunged by another 400 points today.
"Small investors need not panic every time there is a sharp fall in the markets. Leave the panic to professionals like u...
Life seemed so normal at 12.36pm and 20 seconds, but at 12.37pm and 21 seconds the world was turned upside down when the BBC Website froze. Chaos and rioting ensued in the streets of Britain, the biggest since a traffic light froze for 22 seconds at...
Panic-merchants today in the Daily Telegraph warned that asking the public not to panic will only cause mass panic. The warning comes ahead of a planned panic by large sections of the public who haven't had the opportunity to panic since the last ma...
VANCOUVER (Varietal Magazine) - The voice on the other end of the telephone was fraught with panic: "Listen to me, I need to disappear for a little while... If they even know that I am talking with you, your life could be in danger too!"...
The International Council for Useless Panic have found and registered the latest potential disaster that may hit the planet.
Hypochondriacs everywhere in state of panic...