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Funny satire stories about paleontology

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Paleontology Department at Harvard to study Student group's demand

Funny story: Paleontology Department at Harvard to study Student group's demand

"Trigger Words" wanted removed from classification of ancient hominid. A local student rights group, centered out of Bud Hert Hall, has demanded a renaming of one of this planet's ancient inhabitants. Though not seen for eons, this human-type's p...

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Link between rocks and humans discovered

Year: 2 Billion A.D. Famed Paleo-Anthro-Ist, Dr. Luke Doctor, has discovered, what he believes is the link between humans and rocks. Dr. Doctor has long believed that rocks, mountains and the like, are alive, just as humans. Of course living for rocks is different than living for humans. "So," Dr. Doctor says, "is living for plants different from rocks and humans. Plants turn toward the s...

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Gigantic Chipmunk Fossil Skeleton Found in Wyoming

Funny story: Gigantic Chipmunk Fossil Skeleton Found in Wyoming

NEWCASTLE, WYOMING - Paleontologists from the University of Wyoming have announced the discovery of a gigantic form of western chipmunk, Neotamias, at a ranch north of Newcastle, Wyoming. The fossil skeleton, measuring 20 feet in length, was uncov...

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Dinosaurs did not have feathers after all

Funny story: Dinosaurs did not have feathers after all

New evidence has come to light overturning the new idea that dinosaurs had feathers, and were, as thought before it was thought that they had feathers, that they were scaly. "For a long time," said palaeontologist Katie Boundary, "we thought that...

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Fossil hunting is the new craze for kids

Funny story: Fossil hunting is the new craze for kids

A new craze is sweeping across the UK with children in their thousands taking up geology in a hunt for fossils. "Fossils have always interested kids," said Larry Green, a palaeontologist with Cambridge University's Geology department. "It's pleasi...

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Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

Funny story: Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

PRAGUE-On August 24th, 2006, yet another piece of our embarrassingly fragile childhood was destroyed. At a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, a clear majority of astronomers voted for a definition of the term "planet" th...

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Chavs Found to Be Remaining Neanderthals

Funny story: Chavs Found to Be Remaining Neanderthals

BIRMINGHAM - A new report by the University of Birmingham has found out that homo stultus (common chav), is a 99% descendent of the Neanderthals. "Yeah," said Dr. Bill Bates, "one of our colleagues got into a fight with a chav - and won. There was...

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Pariahsaurus Fossils Discovered in Wisconsin

Funny story: Pariahsaurus Fossils Discovered in Wisconsin

Thought for years to be a new species of dinosaur but never found fully intact, the full skeletal remains of a male Pariahsaurus were discovered this week in a valley that borders the Wisconsin shores of Lake Michigan. A very close cousin to the...

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Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Funny story: Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Scientists in Peru have uncovered a fossil of a giant penguin. The monstrous bird was the size of a modern day emu, but quite obviously a penguin from the body shape, wing design and perfectly preserved bow-tie. "It is a remarkable specimen," s...

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Homopterans Tell Homo Sapiens To "Suck Off"

Funny story: Homopterans Tell Homo Sapiens To "Suck Off"

Homopterans have had it! This classification of insects includes the cicada, notorious for openly sucking the vital juices out of plants while producing a high-pitched drone with its drum like organs, has flown under the radar until just recently.

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Breakthrough discovery: Dinosaurs, prehistoric mammals shared common language

Funny story: Breakthrough discovery: Dinosaurs, prehistoric mammals shared common language

Millions of years ago, dinosaurs roared upon the Earth. That is the startling discovery of Reina McSpamster, 18 months, of Outer Suburbia, Minnesota. This author accompanied McSpamster on a recent expedition to the Science Museum of Minnesota, w...

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Paleontologists asked to reduce dependence on fossils

Funny story: Paleontologists asked to reduce dependence on fossils

Failed environmentalists and pseudo-secularists around the world have increased pressure on paleontologists to end their reliance on fossils."This profession is backward, consistently insists on digging up stuff. Digging hurts the earth's feelings. I...

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Signs of Neanderthals Mating With Humans

Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence. A degree of interbreeding between modern humans...

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Huge Flying Reptiles Ate Hillary

Funny story: Huge Flying Reptiles Ate Hillary

With a name like T.clintonus rex, you'd expect to be safe from even the fiercest Paleolithic bullies, but it turns out that ancient, flying reptilian pundits have been snacking on Hillary, Bill and even young Chelsea Clinton with...

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Staggering discovery unearthed by Paleontological Proctologists

Pillsbury Utah- A team of renowned Paleontological Proctologists from Pillsbury were conducting routine rectal drilling in a petrified wooly mammoth's orifice when their drill struck the fully preserved skeletal structure of what appeared to be a...

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1000 years on: stones righted in Stonehenge; Stones welcomed in Blackpool

Funny story: 1000 years on: stones righted in Stonehenge; Stones welcomed in Blackpool

Construction finally resumes on Stonehenge after a delay of more than a millennium, nearly as long as The Rolling Stones have waited to return to Blackpool.

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New Hominid Species Discovered

Funny story: New Hominid Species Discovered

Paleontologists in New York have unearthed the fossil remains of a previously unknown hominid. Carbon dating indicates an age of 68 million years; much older than the famous Lucy uncovered in Africa.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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