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Funny satire stories about paedophiles

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Funny story:  Paedophiles gearing up for their national holiday

Paedophiles gearing up for their national holiday

Parents are warned to keep a close eye on their children this Halloween and accompany them on their Trick or Treating. "A lot of paedophiles see Halloween as Home Delivery Night," said DI Henry Hoover of Dorking CID. "We'd like to ensure that this...
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Funny story:  News Of The World Closes: Rates of Paedophilia Increase

News Of The World Closes: Rates of Paedophilia Increase

Rates of sexual crime against children have risen since the closure of The News Of The World, a new report indicates. In July Rupert Murdoch's best-selling newspaper closed down over phone-whacking. The NOTW led the UK in paedophile entrapment, of...
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Funny story:  Children's Entertainer arrested

Children's Entertainer arrested

Rosso Naso, a Children's Entertainer from Basingstoke has been arrested today after admitting that he liked children. "It's disgusting," said local mum, Samantha Panther. "Grown men shouldn't be allowed into a profession where they have contact wi...
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Funny story:  UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

The government have proposed to implement a 'child ban' throughout the whole of England and Wales. Current laws mean that children can freely roam the streets, live in houses and flats, attend schools, play on swings and generally be a temptation to...
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Funny story:  Gay Man Gives Young Boys Advice About Paedophile Groomers

Gay Man Gives Young Boys Advice About Paedophile Groomers

A gay man in Texas has been praised for his efforts in working with local children who have suffered various forms of abuse from paedophile groomers on the internet. Larry Sabu, 20, started working with the children three months ago, and has alrea...
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Funny story:  School dinner lady in child sex grooming scandal

School dinner lady in child sex grooming scandal

A dinner lady at a primary school in County Durham has not worked for two years, after being warned that her actions could be construed as grooming a child for the purposes of having sex. Mrs Dot Lavatory, 97, was witnessed by a supervisor offerin...
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Funny story:  Thought The Catholic Sex Scandals Were Over? Think Again!

Thought The Catholic Sex Scandals Were Over? Think Again!

Just when the Catholics thought it was safe to emerge from the corruption closet, those pesky Belgian child-molesters have reared their paedophilic heads to keep them inside for just a little longer. Secret recordings have revealed that a senior f...
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Funny story:  South London Vigilante Gang Target 'Paedo's'

South London Vigilante Gang Target 'Paedo's'

A gang of apparently dyslexic or illiterate vigilantes from South London have been attempting to target suspected paedophiles, but to date have only succeeded in assaulting innocent members of the public. The gang, calling themselves 'The Peckham...
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Funny story:  Vatican Offers 'Bed & Boy' Deal To Paedophile Pilgrims

Vatican Offers 'Bed & Boy' Deal To Paedophile Pilgrims

ROME SUNDAY: Thousands of devout paedophiles fell to their knees in paroxysms of fervent religious joy on Sunday as Pope Benedict announced his new Hotel Deal during mass in St Peter's Square. Speaking in fluent Latin, the Pontiff delivered his...
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Funny story:  Sex Pest Paedophiles Offered 'Safe Haven' In Switzerland

Sex Pest Paedophiles Offered 'Safe Haven' In Switzerland

Travel agents in the UK and US were this morning reporting a massive increase in the number of enquiries from paedophiles who wished to visit Switzerland, after the country announced that it had offered a 'safe haven' to sexual deviants who have expr...
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Funny story:  Increased Tax Charges for Convicted Paedophiles

Increased Tax Charges for Convicted Paedophiles

Following the Emergency Budget on the 22nd June, the draft Finance Bill 2010 has revealed a startling proposal, which appears to have gone largely undetected until now. The proposal, seemingly hidden away in the small-print, is that convicted paed...
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Funny story:  'Drill, baby, drill!' as Belgian cops exhume church's paedo princes

'Drill, baby, drill!' as Belgian cops exhume church's paedo princes

Brussels - (Holy Shit!): First the Vatican Pension Fund lost 90% of its $$$s last week in the wake of the BP share price fiasco. Next, a huge Belgian police paedophile raid netted dozens of suspects and lead to a spectacular bust on St Rambouts Ca...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict XVI Fiddles About With Irish Child Molesters

Pope Benedict XVI Fiddles About With Irish Child Molesters

Pope Benedict has appointed a Panel of 9 prelates to look into the thousand year culture of kiddie fiddling between members of his priesthood and the flock they look after. The Archbishops of Boston and New York will investigate systemic child abuse...
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Funny story:  Catholic School Child Abusers Destroying Vatican Image

Catholic School Child Abusers Destroying Vatican Image

The Internet is awash with stories about Catholic Priests who have molested school children over many decades. Horror tales of widespread abuse at famous schools are suddenly being made public - often after years of being swept under the carpet b...
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Funny story:  Pope Seeks Final Solution In Bid To Purify Church

Pope Seeks Final Solution In Bid To Purify Church

Pope Benedict XVI has announced plans for a final solution in his bid to purify the Church. In a radical move, the Pope plans to gas all members of the clergy who are found guilty of being paedophiles. "Zis ist der final solution, ja? But it worke...
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Funny story:  Alternative View: Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers

Alternative View: Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers

A man has been arrested twice for trying to expose a massive cover up of the abuse by paedophiles of a young girl called Holly Grieg. This has been covered up because people in high places could lose their jobs Robert Green is now standing at the General Election as a candidate in Aberdeen against the sitting Labour candidate. Mr Green is sitting under the banner Scotland against crooked law...
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Funny story:  Vatican: Paedophiles are gays

Vatican: Paedophiles are gays

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican's foreign minister, has come under criticism for remarks he made linking homosexuality with paedophilia. BBC News - Vatican comment on paedophiles draws gay groups anger. "During our investigations we discove...
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Funny story:  Brit Business Owner Refuses to Hire Vets: Offers Jobs to Venables & Thompson Upon their Release!

Brit Business Owner Refuses to Hire Vets: Offers Jobs to Venables & Thompson Upon their Release!

Army vets were shocked to learn today they would not be considered for employment by a local business man who said he preferred to hire pedophiles and convicted drug dealers instead. The man, who can not be named due to a ruling confirmed by the E...
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Breaking News...

Barack Obama Resigns as USA president

Last night,the president of the United States of America Barack Obama resigned for unknown reason's according to CNN News.His replacement might be actor Morgan Freeman or NBA star Kobe Bryant.

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