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New Ky-Jelly II Will Also Cause Firmness

Funny story: New Ky-Jelly II Will Also Cause Firmness

The parent company of Ky-Jelly has told reporters Saturday that they have a new product they call Ky-Jelly II that will not only be slicker but also help provide firmness. "We're not saying that it will replace the pills but it could in some peopl...

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Messi Wants Move To Old Firm

Funny story: Messi Wants Move To Old Firm

Hot on the heels of his stunning performance in the 2-0 defeat of Real Madrid at the Bernabeu, Lionel Messi has shocked the world of soccer by announcing that he would like to leave the mighty Bareclona and play for one of the Old Firm clubs. The...

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Lennon Defends After Match Gestures

Funny story: Lennon Defends After Match Gestures

Celtic manager Neil Lennon has defended his after match gestures to the Rangers fans after the 0-0 draw this afternoon. Lennon was seen to put his hands behind his ears as he crossed the pitch in front of the Rangers faithful at the end of the las...

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Rangers Maul Celtic 0-0 To Close In On Runner-Up Spot

Funny story: Rangers Maul Celtic 0-0 To Close In On Runner-Up Spot

Brotherly love was a commodity in distinctly short supply at Ibrox today, as Rangers hosted arch rivals Celtic in a typical Auld Firm blood and thunder, no quarter given or expected, encounter. The final meeting of the Glasgow giants this season.

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More Bad News For Rangers

Funny story: More Bad News For Rangers

Hot on the heels of the news that UEFA may well order them to play games behind closed doors due to fans' sectarian chanting, Rangers were hit hit with a double blow that could well derail their Scottish Premier League chances. Long term absentees...

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A New Feature - The Gerry McFoote Exclusive

Funny story: A New Feature - The Gerry McFoote Exclusive

Today we have the first in a series of exclusives from Scotland's most popular sports writer - the one and only Gerry McFoot The writer that's done for balanced journalism what Mary Whitehouse has done for nudity...... "You know what really gets on my goat (apart, of course, from not being knighted) - the countless small clubs that are sucking the lifeblood out of the game up here. Yes, t...

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Old Firm Fans To Take SFA To Court

Funny story: Old Firm Fans To Take SFA To Court

Rangers and Celtic fans will take the Scottish Football Association to the European Court of Human Rights if they either arrange Old Firm games for Monday nights or force them to be played behind closed doors. Old Firm supporters groups have appoi...

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SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

Funny story: SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

The Scottish Football Association's chief executive Stewart Regan is threatening to take a hard line against the Old Firm after the sectarian singing that blighted the recent League Cup Final. The SFA chief was attending the UEFA Congress in Paris...

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Ode To The Beautiful Game

Funny story: Ode To The Beautiful Game

What a Wonderful Game (With apologies to Louis Armstrong) I see fields of green The crowd's alight It's just the latest Old Firm fight And I think to myself What a wonderful game I see shirts of blue And shorts of white The funny handshake The pants hitched up tight And I think to myself What a wonderful game The colours of the ref's cards So pretty on the pitch A yellow ca...

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Champions League Tickets On Sale for Old Firm Fans

Funny story: Champions League Tickets On Sale for Old Firm Fans

Old Firm fans can now reserve tickets for the next 5 seasons' Champions League and Europa League campaigns, even though only one of the clubs will qualify for the main tournament. Because Scotland's co-efficient ranking in European football has fa...

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Old Firm Summit Targets Sectarianism

Funny story: Old Firm Summit Targets Sectarianism

Th summit meeting held in Edinburgh yesterday to address the increasing anti social behaviour at Old Firm games has already borne fruit. The meeting, called by First Minister Alex Salmond, brought together representatives of Strathclyde Police, Ce...

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The Aberdeen Almanac Chapter 4

Funny story: The Aberdeen Almanac Chapter 4

Foo they hingin', chiels ? Wi' the missus bein' awa last midweek fur a puckle days tae git hur mowzer cluppit, ah thocht ah'd heid doon tae Weegieland and hae a skek at the twa teams thit caused us Jocks tae lose ane o' oor Champions League places. Althoughs the game wuz at Parkheid, mah guid freend Wullie (faz a Hun)goat us intae Ibrox an' we partook o' sum o' the Gers' hospitality. There wiz...

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Google Site Banned By Turkish Football Authorities

Funny story: Google Site Banned By Turkish Football Authorities

Google's Blogger site has been in Turkey after it was discovered that some games broadcast live on satellite station Digiturk were being reported live in text form on personal blogs. This is by no means the first time the country has been involved...

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UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

Funny story: UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

A summit between Rangers chief executive Martin Bain and Celtic's Peter Lawwell was held today at Hampden Par but the meeting ,chaired by the SFA, descended into chaos after Bain threw a packet of crisps at Lawwell, claiming they were "you lot's stap...

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Diouf And Bougherra To Face Probe

Funny story: Diouf And Bougherra To Face Probe

Rangers players El Hadji Diouf and Madjij Bougherra are to face a probe following their sendings off at the Old Firm cup replay last week. George Hughes, SFA Discplinary Czar, made the announcement this morning at a packed press office in Park Gar...

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Rangers Boss Lays Down The Law To Players

Funny story: Rangers Boss Lays Down The Law To Players

As Rangers season seems on the verge of imploding, manager Walter Smith has laid down a harsh new code of conduct for all players. Smith is concerned that, in the wake of another humiliating defeat at the hands of Old Firm rivals Celtic, season 20...

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Lennon Apologises To Celtic Board

Funny story: Lennon Apologises To Celtic Board

Celtic manager Neil Lennon has made a formal apology to the Celtic board after his touchline antics at the Old Firm game last Wednesday. The Irishman not only exchanged words with Rangers assistant manager Ally McCoist when the final whistle went,...

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Celtic's Lennon Facing 3 Year Ban

Funny story: Celtic's Lennon Facing 3 Year Ban

Glasgow Celtic's manager Neil Lennon is facing a 146 game ban under a controversial new disciplinary procedure introduced by the SFA. The Irishman has just reluctantly accepted a revised 4 game ban for an offence committed earlier on this season,...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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