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Funny story: Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Food Writers at the Daily Maile have announced that if people simply cut out fresh meat, fruit and veg from their diet they will probably live forever. The new findings, which are totally made up, say that processed food like burgers and sausages, ch...
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Funny story: Gummint Sausage Analysis

Gummint Sausage Analysis

Some have said that it is never advisable to look too closely at what goes into the making of sausage; that doing so can reduce one's appetite for the product. However, in the interest of public health and safety, a group of investigators has been l...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Spotted Eating A Double Pepperoni Pizza

Michelle Obama Spotted Eating A Double Pepperoni Pizza

DETROIT - Michelle Obama who is noted for preaching that school kids need to eat a nutritious meal and stop eating junk food was photographed at an elementary school in Detroit - eating a double pepperoni pizza. The news media had been told before...
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Funny story: Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Pocono, Pennsylvania -- Gwendolyn Shopworn, a food researcher from Boston, expired earlier today while attempting to cross Pennsylvania's famous Bushkill Falls on a high wire. "This is a real tragedy," said Pocono Sheriff Snuffy Anastasia. "She'...
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Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
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Funny story: Food crisis solved by flesh eating bacteria

Food crisis solved by flesh eating bacteria

Many people in Britain live below the poverty line and struggle to get enough food to eat. As a result, rickets is making a comeback, as are nutritional disorders that Britain thought it had left in the middle ages. "It's getting so bad," said nut...
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Funny story: FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

To the surprise of many nutritionists and health experts, the Food and Drug Administration has announced a revision to its "Good for You" food list, which will now include the long-time pseudo-healthy menu choice known as the Caesar Salad. A tradi...
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Funny story: Popeye The Sailor Man In "Commie" Beetroot Revelation

Popeye The Sailor Man In "Commie" Beetroot Revelation

Cartoon favourite, Popeye, always cracked open a can of spinach when he needed an energy boost to fight off his enemies and save Olive. But research has suggested it would have been better if he had opted for beetroot! Boffins have discovered t...
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Funny story: Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...
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Funny story: New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

Scientists have discovered a previously unknown and highly essential vitamin, vitamin Q, which is reportedly found only in water chestnuts. "Vitamin Q is absolutely and utterly vital to life," stated nutritional expert Dr. Anders Chase in a presen...
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Funny story: Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Gwyneth Apple has been rapped for promoting a 21-day 'detox' diet. The actress, 39, is selling the £275 'Cleanse' kit on her website Goof. It involves eating one low-calorie meal a day, two protein shakes and vitamins. 'LESS BLOATED' One mug...
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Funny story: 'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

Washington DC -- Pres. Barack Obama says he has figured out what is causing the US economic slowdown, and that he knows how to cure the economy's ills. But a variety of experts disagree. "Wall Street is not getting its minimum daily requirement of...
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Funny story: Jelly is a superfood

Jelly is a superfood

The latest research from Roundtree University in Leicester has shown what every pre-pubescent child has always known: Jelly is a super food! "It's quite remarkable," said chief nutritionist, Henry Murray, of the Gelatine Independent Research Labor...
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Funny story: CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

Watching police forensic procedural dramas will help you shed the pounds says a top slimming expert. The claim follows months of research involving hundreds of subjects using different diets and exercise regimes. Dr Milicent Gruel, head of Food...
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Funny story: F.D.A. Declares Kool-Aid A Fruit In School Lunch Program

F.D.A. Declares Kool-Aid A Fruit In School Lunch Program

Parents who look to their children's school lunches as a source of nutrition can now rest easy, knowing that their Federal Government (through the Food and Drug Administration) has declared Kool-Aid to be a fruit. The beverage will count as a full se...
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Funny story: Would butter be better if it was bitter?

Would butter be better if it was bitter?

Butter is a much maligned cooking ingredient. Blamed for many a heart attack it is said to be as dangerous to Western society as the car. One of the major problems with butter is it tastes so damn good. This has led nutritionist Kerry Gold to...
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Funny story: Flash: Sarah Palin cashes in. Monkeys Pass on McDonald's. Healthcare in a Congressional Coma.

Flash: Sarah Palin cashes in. Monkeys Pass on McDonald's. Healthcare in a Congressional Coma.

(New York-NY) "The New York Times" published an editor's note this week stating pictures used in the paper's Sunday Magazine photo essay were digitally manipulated. The pictorial was shot by Portuguese photographer Edgar Martins, and called "Ruins o...
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