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New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

Funny story: New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

A new study recently published by the Joint Center for Nutrition and Oceanics recently reported that people aren't eating nearly enough seaweed. “It's alarming,” stated JCNO Director John Griebel. “We'd assumed that most Americans were consuming s...

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"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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Health-Conscious Environmentalist Kills Two Birds with One Stone by Going Vegan

Funny story: Health-Conscious Environmentalist Kills Two Birds with One Stone by Going Vegan

As someone interested in boosting his own health and the health of the planet, health-conscious environmentalist Luke Jameson decided to kill two birds with one stone by going vegan. Luke was first inspired to go vegan when he learned that animal...

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McDonald's Launches New Minimum Wage Menu

Funny story: McDonald's Launches New Minimum Wage Menu

McDonaldland, USA -- Bowing to pressure from minimum-wage maximization advocates, the McDonald's Corporation today introduced a "more affordable" menu designed exclusively for workers at the bottom of the pay scale. "We can't afford to raise the s...

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Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Funny story: Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Food Writers at the Daily Maile have announced that if people simply cut out fresh meat, fruit and veg from their diet they will probably live forever. The new findings, which are totally made up, say that processed food like burgers and sausages, ch...

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Gummint Sausage Analysis

Some have said that it is never advisable to look too closely at what goes into the making of sausage; that doing so can reduce one's appetite for the product. However, in the interest of public health and safety, a group of investigators has been l...

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Michelle Obama Spotted Eating A Double Pepperoni Pizza

Funny story: Michelle Obama Spotted Eating A Double Pepperoni Pizza

DETROIT - Michelle Obama who is noted for preaching that school kids need to eat a nutritious meal and stop eating junk food was photographed at an elementary school in Detroit - eating a double pepperoni pizza. The news media had been told before...

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Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Funny story: Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Pocono, Pennsylvania -- Gwendolyn Shopworn, a food researcher from Boston, expired earlier today while attempting to cross Pennsylvania's famous Bushkill Falls on a high wire. "This is a real tragedy," said Pocono Sheriff Snuffy Anastasia. "She'...

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Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...

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Food crisis solved by flesh eating bacteria

Funny story: Food crisis solved by flesh eating bacteria

Many people in Britain live below the poverty line and struggle to get enough food to eat. As a result, rickets is making a comeback, as are nutritional disorders that Britain thought it had left in the middle ages. "It's getting so bad," said nut...

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FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

Funny story: FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

To the surprise of many nutritionists and health experts, the Food and Drug Administration has announced a revision to its "Good for You" food list, which will now include the long-time pseudo-healthy menu choice known as the Caesar Salad. A tradi...

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Popeye The Sailor Man In "Commie" Beetroot Revelation

Funny story: Popeye The Sailor Man In "Commie" Beetroot Revelation

Cartoon favourite, Popeye, always cracked open a can of spinach when he needed an energy boost to fight off his enemies and save Olive. But research has suggested it would have been better if he had opted for beetroot! Boffins have discovered t...

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Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Funny story: Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...

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New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

Funny story: New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

Scientists have discovered a previously unknown and highly essential vitamin, vitamin Q, which is reportedly found only in water chestnuts. "Vitamin Q is absolutely and utterly vital to life," stated nutritional expert Dr. Anders Chase in a presen...

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Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Funny story: Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Gwyneth Apple has been rapped for promoting a 21-day 'detox' diet. The actress, 39, is selling the £275 'Cleanse' kit on her website Goof. It involves eating one low-calorie meal a day, two protein shakes and vitamins. 'LESS BLOATED' One mug...

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'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

Funny story: 'The stock market is not getting enough sun,' says Obama

Washington DC -- Pres. Barack Obama says he has figured out what is causing the US economic slowdown, and that he knows how to cure the economy's ills. But a variety of experts disagree. "Wall Street is not getting its minimum daily requirement of...

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Jelly is a superfood

Funny story: Jelly is a superfood

The latest research from Roundtree University in Leicester has shown what every pre-pubescent child has always known: Jelly is a super food! "It's quite remarkable," said chief nutritionist, Henry Murray, of the Gelatine Independent Research Labor...

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CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

Funny story: CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

Watching police forensic procedural dramas will help you shed the pounds says a top slimming expert. The claim follows months of research involving hundreds of subjects using different diets and exercise regimes. Dr Milicent Gruel, head of Food...

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