London - The Governor of the Bank of England has rubbished Palace predictions about the Queen's imminent death.
Top Hellfire Club number cruncher Mervyn King blamed the ubiquitous QE2 nickname in a City speech at crunchtime - er...lunchtime! - tod...
Scientists and theologians have had a mystery on their hands for the last few days, after it was discovered that there were tiny letters and numbers in the eyes of Leonardo Da Vinci's, Mona Lisa. The letters were undiscerning to the naked eye but und...
Paris - (Wingnutz Poser): Was Leonardo Da Vinci a numerology freak who predicted the rise of Dan Brown conspiracy theories?
The discovery of tiny numerals and mysterious occult symbols on the Mona Lisa's eyeballs says it all.
"It's a message a...
London - (Aztec Calendar Woe): A delayed gratification karmic virus has detonated among Hellfire Club matrons.
At the Royal Freak Hospital nonce's wing tonight Margaret Thatcher had her stomach pumped after OD-ing on 'rocks' from Chilean President...
London - (Red Alert): A top numerology buff said today that Wednesday's apocalyptic 20/10/2010 date bears all the hallmarks of a planned cybermen attack.
Royal Freak Hospital's Professor of Cyberology Dr Einstein Flintstone has warned the governme...
Members of the 101010 cult who had gathered in southern Canada and were expecting to be "rescured" yesterday at 10 past 10, on the 10th of the 10th 2010 are considering their options seeing as the expected rescue has so far failed to materialise.
As the calendar reaches the date 1O October 2010 , when even in America it is 10/10/10, we have been visiting Mystic Meg about the significance of the numbers.
'Ten is always important' she said 'we have ten fingers and ten toes.'
'Ah, yes' I mused.
'Then we have ten geese a laying and tenderness is a ten letter word.'
'So what does all this mean?'
'Completeness.'
'So humanity is...
Millions are expecting something extraordinary to happen this Sunday when the clock hits the magic 10.10.10 mark.
Whatever does or doesn't happen will have to happen in Greenwich because that's where the time will happen. Or rather, that's where...
Cyberspace - (Malware): A numerologically absurd proposition will test theories this weekend that the internet is about to collapse under the weight of the numbers game.
The Stuxnet virus's programmed life span is due to detonate millions of lapto...
Numbers are big when it comes to Chinese superstition.
Take the number 8 for instance. According to the Chinese 8-8-8, as in August 8, 2008 saw a big upsurge in the number of weddings taking place in China. Why?
Because 8-8-8 translates to "ma...
Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances.
The much prized 0888 888 888 d...
London - (Portents): The imminent Lady Day demise comes after hundreds of 'extinct' Ghost Orchids suddenly sprouted on the Buckingham Palace lawn in a spooky coffin-shaped formation.
"We counted exactly 407 of the critically endangered species," r...
London - (Pseudomathematics): An ancient occult divination system behind the secret science of hidden credit card numbers will be laid bare before Southwark Crown Court this week.
In the dock is Chelsea captain John Terry's 'old mucker' Faisal Mad...
Today, numerologists will have noticed that the time and date at one point was 09:09 09/09/09. After an appeal for people affected by this, we received details from a Mr Neil McBride from Dunfermline near Edinburgh in Scotland. He told us he had be...
London - (Rioters): Hellfire Club pornbrokers are calling in the IOUs this week ahead of Wednesday's apocalyptic 9/9/9 numerology.
Starting with half a dozen Canary Wharf smug bastards who have grown fat perpetrating the myth of Hong Kong's repatr...
London - (Doomsday Mess): It's all in the numbers, folks... And numerology freaks are tumescent with expectation that this May Day's 333rd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati will see the death 'by auto-erotic waterboarding' of Hi...
London - (Numerology Mess): The Illuminati's number crunching conspiracy theorists are shitting bricks this week ahead of Leonardo da Vinci's long-prophesied 557th birth anniversary on April 15th.
557 is the 102nd known prime number and has been u...
Hong Kong - (Ass Mess): Mounting tension among banking giant HSBC's numerology consultants has reached paranoid levels according to Hong Kong sources watching Chinese market movements ahead of this weekend's fabled 7/7/07 date.