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Funny story:  Palace numerologists wrong about QE2 RIP date says Hellfire Club CEO

Palace numerologists wrong about QE2 RIP date says Hellfire Club CEO

London - The Governor of the Bank of England has rubbished Palace predictions about the Queen's imminent death. Top Hellfire Club number cruncher Mervyn King blamed the ubiquitous QE2 nickname in a City speech at crunchtime - er...lunchtime! - tod...
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Funny story:  Letters and Numbers in Mona Lisa's Eyes Figured Out

Letters and Numbers in Mona Lisa's Eyes Figured Out

Scientists and theologians have had a mystery on their hands for the last few days, after it was discovered that there were tiny letters and numbers in the eyes of Leonardo Da Vinci's, Mona Lisa. The letters were undiscerning to the naked eye but und...
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Funny story:  Leonardo Da Vinci was a painting-by-numbers hoaxer

Leonardo Da Vinci was a painting-by-numbers hoaxer

Paris - (Wingnutz Poser): Was Leonardo Da Vinci a numerology freak who predicted the rise of Dan Brown conspiracy theories? The discovery of tiny numerals and mysterious occult symbols on the Mona Lisa's eyeballs says it all. "It's a message a...
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Funny story:  Thatcher hospitalised, Queen sedated as 20/10/2010 Mayan curse strikes Illuminati

Thatcher hospitalised, Queen sedated as 20/10/2010 Mayan curse strikes Illuminati

London - (Aztec Calendar Woe): A delayed gratification karmic virus has detonated among Hellfire Club matrons. At the Royal Freak Hospital nonce's wing tonight Margaret Thatcher had her stomach pumped after OD-ing on 'rocks' from Chilean President...
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Funny story:  Doctor Who Warned Of Cybermen Attack Says Beware 20/10/2010

Doctor Who Warned Of Cybermen Attack Says Beware 20/10/2010

London - (Red Alert): A top numerology buff said today that Wednesday's apocalyptic 20/10/2010 date bears all the hallmarks of a planned cybermen attack. Royal Freak Hospital's Professor of Cyberology Dr Einstein Flintstone has warned the governme...
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Funny story:  101010 Cult Still Waiting

101010 Cult Still Waiting

Members of the 101010 cult who had gathered in southern Canada and were expecting to be "rescured" yesterday at 10 past 10, on the 10th of the 10th 2010 are considering their options seeing as the expected rescue has so far failed to materialise.
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Funny story:  10/10/10 - The Truth

10/10/10 - The Truth

As the calendar reaches the date 1O October 2010 , when even in America it is 10/10/10, we have been visiting Mystic Meg about the significance of the numbers. 'Ten is always important' she said 'we have ten fingers and ten toes.' 'Ah, yes' I mused. 'Then we have ten geese a laying and tenderness is a ten letter word.' 'So what does all this mean?' 'Completeness.' 'So humanity is...
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Funny story:  10.10.10 - Will God Blow A Whistle?

10.10.10 - Will God Blow A Whistle?

Millions are expecting something extraordinary to happen this Sunday when the clock hits the magic 10.10.10 mark. Whatever does or doesn't happen will have to happen in Greenwich because that's where the time will happen. Or rather, that's where...
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Funny story:  Stuxnet sucks net lifeblood on 10/10/10

Stuxnet sucks net lifeblood on 10/10/10

Cyberspace - (Malware): A numerologically absurd proposition will test theories this weekend that the internet is about to collapse under the weight of the numbers game. The Stuxnet virus's programmed life span is due to detonate millions of lapto...
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Funny story:  Seeking "perfection in everything"?  Then 10-10-10 or Oct 10, 2010 is your lucky day!

Seeking "perfection in everything"? Then 10-10-10 or Oct 10, 2010 is your lucky day!

Numbers are big when it comes to Chinese superstition. Take the number 8 for instance. According to the Chinese 8-8-8, as in August 8, 2008 saw a big upsurge in the number of weddings taking place in China. Why? Because 8-8-8 translates to "ma...
View 'Seeking "perfection in everything"?  Then 10-10-10 or Oct 10, 2010 is your lucky day!'
Funny story:  Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!

Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!

Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances. The much prized 0888 888 888 d...
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Funny story:  Palace numerologists reschedule Queen's death prediction for 25 March

Palace numerologists reschedule Queen's death prediction for 25 March

London - (Portents): The imminent Lady Day demise comes after hundreds of 'extinct' Ghost Orchids suddenly sprouted on the Buckingham Palace lawn in a spooky coffin-shaped formation. "We counted exactly 407 of the critically endangered species," r...
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Funny story:  Hidden numerology of John Terry £137k fraud trial

Hidden numerology of John Terry £137k fraud trial

London - (Pseudomathematics): An ancient occult divination system behind the secret science of hidden credit card numbers will be laid bare before Southwark Crown Court this week. In the dock is Chelsea captain John Terry's 'old mucker' Faisal Mad...
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Funny story:  09:09 09/09/09 coincidence

09:09 09/09/09 coincidence

Today, numerologists will have noticed that the time and date at one point was 09:09 09/09/09. After an appeal for people affected by this, we received details from a Mr Neil McBride from Dunfermline near Edinburgh in Scotland. He told us he had be...
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Funny story:  "Achtung! Nein, nein, nein!" numerology shocker

"Achtung! Nein, nein, nein!" numerology shocker

London - (Rioters): Hellfire Club pornbrokers are calling in the IOUs this week ahead of Wednesday's apocalyptic 9/9/9 numerology. Starting with half a dozen Canary Wharf smug bastards who have grown fat perpetrating the myth of Hong Kong's repatr...
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Funny story:  Illuminati prophecy fortells Hitler's daughter will die on 64th anniversary of father's Berlin Bunker suicide

Illuminati prophecy fortells Hitler's daughter will die on 64th anniversary of father's Berlin Bunker suicide

London - (Doomsday Mess): It's all in the numbers, folks... And numerology freaks are tumescent with expectation that this May Day's 333rd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati will see the death 'by auto-erotic waterboarding' of Hi...
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Funny story:  Prime number wingnuts' Leonardo da Vinci 557th birth anniversary fears

Prime number wingnuts' Leonardo da Vinci 557th birth anniversary fears

London - (Numerology Mess): The Illuminati's number crunching conspiracy theorists are shitting bricks this week ahead of Leonardo da Vinci's long-prophesied 557th birth anniversary on April 15th. 557 is the 102nd known prime number and has been u...
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Funny story:  HSBC: our 7/7/07 numerology fears

HSBC: our 7/7/07 numerology fears

Hong Kong - (Ass Mess): Mounting tension among banking giant HSBC's numerology consultants has reached paranoid levels according to Hong Kong sources watching Chinese market movements ahead of this weekend's fabled 7/7/07 date.
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Breaking News...

National Institute of Abhorrent Behavior (NIAB) to Study Cable News Anchors

Boston-Dr. Felix Noodlesorter of NAIB received a LooneyToonery grant to study the behavioral traits of those who anchor cable news shows. Prime subject for scrutiny is Wacky Chris Matthews of MSNBC,

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