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Funny story: Dorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers

Dorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers

A pensioner nicknamed 'Der Fuhrer' has been arrested at a Dorking car boot sale for spreading Nazi propaganda. The local recluse, Adolf Nonce , lives in a bungalow just outside Dorking called 'The Berlin Bunker'. Herr Nonce, who according to h...
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Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.

Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.

A secret dossier revealing intimate sexual details about Chelsea footballers has been found on a park bench in West London. The 69 page document, containing measurements and diagrams, was compiled over several years by new Chelsea Manager Andre Vi...
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Funny story: Menstrual Cycle Chart used to predict Women's Tennis results

Menstrual Cycle Chart used to predict Women's Tennis results

Eric Nonce, a retired Maths teacher from Dorking, has put his high IQ to good use. He has predicted every Ladies Champion at the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament since 1969. Mr Nonce, who operates from a shed in Dorking, consults Tide Tables to analyse...
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Funny story: Lord Nonce in Royal Ascot punch up with Pikey

Lord Nonce in Royal Ascot punch up with Pikey

Lord Humphrey Nonce QC was left cursing his bad luck at Royal Ascot yesterday. The 'Sporting Judge', who part owns a leg of the game filly Kinky Afro, watched as the nag pulled up short in The Buckingham Palace Stakes over 7 Furlongs. With the...
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Funny story: Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce has been refused entry to this year's Eastbourne Open Ladies Tennis Tournament. Happily married Nonce, 69, from Dorking, was ejected from the court last time round after "looking up ladies' skirts". Eastbourne...
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Funny story: Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad. The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Qu...
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Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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