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Funny satire stories about noise

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Funny story:  Dyson creates the world's quietest hoover

Dyson creates the world's quietest hoover

"First off," said James Dyson, inventor and genial genius, "can we sort out that they are called vacuum cleaners? Hoover is a rival brand. It's not a verb, any more than Microsoft, T-Mobile or Sony are verbs. I'm glad that's cleared up, now carry on.
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Funny story:  Noisy Toys cause a feud

Noisy Toys cause a feud

Two long standing friends have come to blows between Christmas and New Year after an escalation in children's Christmas presents, resulting in two arrests and a trip to Accident and Emergency. "It was okay until a couple of Christmases ago," said...
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Funny story:  Ambulances to be toned down?

Ambulances to be toned down?

British ambulances have been branded as too noisy, too bright and too aggressively drive by The Patient Advocate Group. "Do these ambulance drivers not understand that they're carrying sick people?" asked Paul Lay. "The ill and injured don't need...
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Funny story:  Auditory Experts Liken Keith Olbermann's Voice To That Of "One Ass Cheek Farting"

Auditory Experts Liken Keith Olbermann's Voice To That Of "One Ass Cheek Farting"

Keith Olbermann, the pundit who considers his one sided rhetoric to be journalism, has been identified as "special" by scientists specializing in sound. From his laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, Dr. Blake Nickel made the following statement:...
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Funny story:  The "Silencer" Puts An End To Annoying Cell Phone Users

The "Silencer" Puts An End To Annoying Cell Phone Users

Instant riches have been bestowed upon Freedom From Cellular Company, the inventor of the new, anti-cell phone jamming device called "The Silencer". This fresh creation shuts down any irritating cell phones in the users vicinity making them inoperabl...
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Funny story:  The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

TOKYO - Dr. Choofi Hirocheeto, one of the world's foremost experts on noise, has commented in several publications including the highly prestigious Hey What The Hell Was That Noise Illustrated Monthly, that the sound of the African trumpets known as...
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Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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