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Funny story: NHL melts down the Stanley Cup to promote player safety

NHL melts down the Stanley Cup to promote player safety

Toronto, Ontario - The Stanley Cup is no more. The professional sports world's most iconic championship trophy has been recast into dozens of personal "Support Stanleys" - individual-sized cups designed to shield a player's privates from th...
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Funny story: Hockey player suspended for having too many teeth

Hockey player suspended for having too many teeth

Cold part, Canada - Starting defenseman Larry McMurphy was suspended 2 games for his repeated violation of NHL dress code. According to section 3.41.2 "No player, in accordance with hockey tradition, shall have a complete set of front teeth." His sus...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert To Star In The Anderson Cooper Story

Adam Lambert To Star In The Anderson Cooper Story

HOLLYWOOD - Lions Face Pictures in association with Pipe Dream Films has just announced that Adam Lambert will be starring in Salvo Classacoti's motion picture The Anderson Cooper Story. Lambert spoke with Pomona Vox of Silver Screen Showcase Maga...
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Funny story: Mukluks and Flip Flops at the NHL Finals

Mukluks and Flip Flops at the NHL Finals

We accept the fact that, when your hometown team is knocked out of the playoffs, the season is generally over. This is never truer than for basketball and hockey. By the time the midnight sun rises, you start to hum the old refrain, "Wait till nex...
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Funny story: Seeking To Capitalize On Popularity Of Gay Players, NHL Is Planning A 'Gay Draft'

Seeking To Capitalize On Popularity Of Gay Players, NHL Is Planning A 'Gay Draft'

NEW YORK, NY - NHL Media Advisor Roger 'Stiff' Babcock knows that, in today's media-driven culture, hockey has long taken a backseat to the NFL. And the NBA. And the WNBA. And NASCAR. And the MMA. Even the WB. But now Babcock sees a future...
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Funny story: Athletes Who Are Gay for Pay

Athletes Who Are Gay for Pay

Rumors circulate that an active gay player will come charging out of his closet in the NFL locker room. He cannot be penalized with a charging call because this is not the NHL. We presume that an active player may be more interesting than a passiv...
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Funny story: NHL Villains: The Iceman Goeth with Fehr and Bettman

NHL Villains: The Iceman Goeth with Fehr and Bettman

The NHL (no hockey league) continues to be a non-story and only borders on humor if you think watching glaciers fall into the ocean is funny. Much debate has centered on the identity of the villain in this story. The two main culprits are Donald F...
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Funny story: Fans Enjoy A Refreshing Change With NHL Lockout

Fans Enjoy A Refreshing Change With NHL Lockout

Coming fresh off lockouts with the NBA and NFL, fans are enjoying a change as the NHL enters it's second lockout in 9 years. After two years of millionaire NFL and NBA players arguing with billionaire NFL and NBA team owners, fans are being refreshed...
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Funny story: Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell. Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is Extremely Upset That The Vancouver Canucks Were Defeated By The Boston Bruins

Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is Extremely Upset That The Vancouver Canucks Were Defeated By The Boston Bruins

HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez spent the day shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. She had recently gotten out of the hospital where she had been rushed due to malnutrition, undernourishment, and a very pronounced case of split ends. The teen singin...
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Funny story: Canadian Heart Association Pleads for Stanley Cup Win

Canadian Heart Association Pleads for Stanley Cup Win

Several sitting board members of the Canadian Heart Association well aware of increased incidents of heart attack during highly stressful events, pleads with the NHL Officials Association to make the Stanley Cup Finals "Canadian Fair". Taking the...
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Funny story: Peter North Stars Hockey Team Blows Huge, Gelatinous, Ropelike Petition for Entry onto NHL's Stomach

Peter North Stars Hockey Team Blows Huge, Gelatinous, Ropelike Petition for Entry onto NHL's Stomach

The NHL has a potential scandal on their hands, now that the Peter North Stars, a Florida-based hockey team owned by XXX penis-for-hire Peter North, had made their burning, lustful desire to become an NHL franchise official. Dear Gay Professional Ath...
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Funny story: Fedorov Forgives Red Wing Fans, Seeks Return for 2011-12 Season

Fedorov Forgives Red Wing Fans, Seeks Return for 2011-12 Season

Riding his best personal milestone with the game winning goal in the 2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Sergei Federov left the Washington Caps and took a $9 Million a year deal back in Russia. Now with his 2-year deal at an end, Fedorov seeks a return to h...
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Funny story: Crosby Approaches Red Wings for 2012 Trade

Crosby Approaches Red Wings for 2012 Trade

Shocking the professional hockey world in what was supposed to be private and highly clandestine negotiations, NHL branded superstar, Sydney Crosby has approached the Detroit Red Wings organization for a potential trade that would bring him to Hockey...
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Funny story: NHL Bans Fighting, Profanity; Players Shift to Spoof Forums Instead

NHL Bans Fighting, Profanity; Players Shift to Spoof Forums Instead

In a surprise move by NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, fighting and the use of abrasive language has been banned from all sanctioned hockey games for the remainder of the 2011 season and beyond, while players who enjoyed that particular piece of the co...
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Funny story: James Wisniewski Shows Steve Avery How To Brush Rear Molars, Gets Suspended.

James Wisniewski Shows Steve Avery How To Brush Rear Molars, Gets Suspended.

The four people who still follow ice hockey are up in arms over the NHL's decision to suspend Islanders defenseman James Wisniewski, after Wisniewski took time out of his busy day to show Rangers douchebag Sean Avery the proper way to brush the rear...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Sues NHL for Celebration Plagiarism

Tiger Woods Sues NHL for Celebration Plagiarism

Having dropped out of his most recent tournament, Tiger Woods accidentally came across a hockey game in his living room while flipping through the channels (He thought it may have been a new form of 'team golf' in Europe). After a few minutes of d...
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Funny story: San Jose Diving Competition Won by Sharks

San Jose Diving Competition Won by Sharks

With a tremendous display of athleticism both on their skates and off them, the San Jose Sharks won a heated competition with the Detroit Red Wings last night by virtue of flailing arms and off-balance dramatics in the act of professional diving.
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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