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Bring Back The Guillotine

Funny story: Bring Back The Guillotine

This countries a mess. There we said it. But it's not our opinion, but the opinion of the man on the street. The white van mad man, the market trader and the pub landlord all agree. But why is it a mess and what are the solutions, we don't know, shit we cant remember where we let the dog off it's lead last. That dam terrier could be anywhere. Anyway we grabbed a bunch of people off the street (...

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Stalker day a great success for card shops

Funny story: Stalker day a great success for card shops

High Street card shops have hailed the National Stalker and Harassment Day a great success, with millions of cards sold nationwide. "We're really glad that the government have come up with this new day to accompany Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day,...

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National Space Centre closes

Funny story: National Space Centre closes

The National Space Centre in Surrey will be closing it's doors for the final time at the end of July. "It's a catastrophe," said long time space buff, Elton John. "Where will I get the space I need for my expansive wardrobe now?" Elton has long...

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Republican National Committee Sets Up Secret "Pet Centers" in U.S. Metropolitan Areas

Funny story: Republican National Committee Sets Up Secret "Pet Centers" in U.S. Metropolitan Areas

Here's a scary question that can rip apart the entire Presidential electoral process in less than a minute: What if an elderly man or woman running for U.S. President suddenly dies or falls seriously ill during the final election process?...

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Grand National News

Funny story: Grand National News

It's 11.45pm on Tuesday, a couple of weeks after the Grand National, and I have heard that the horse I picked has just this minute crossed the finishing line.

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Bald Eagles Select Humans As National Primate of the United States

Funny story: Bald Eagles Select Humans As National Primate of the United States

AP Newsliar -- After a lengthy selection process, Bald Eagles have chosen humans to be the national primate of the United States.

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There Are People Who Do Not Love Their Fellow Man And I HATE People Like That

June 10th, 2007 - Why did Tom Lehrer have to retire so young? What happened to National Brotherhood Week? Sheriff Clark just died ("Lena Horne and Sheriff Clarke are dancing cheek to cheek, It's fun to eulogize, people you despise, it's only for a week so have no fear, be grateful that it doesn't last all year!").

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Dear P4 Your Genitalia Merges with Delilah

Dear Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia. cum has merged with national late night DJ and sappy sentimentalist Delilah.

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Americans United in Apathy, Indifferent to 'News'

WORLD PRESS-Latest local, national and worldwide poll figures indicate a disturbing trend that has network news and newspapers pointing fingers at each other. The reason: NOBODY KNOWS and NOBODY CARES!!...

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All Star Game renamed to "American League beat down festival"

The American League topped the National League 7-5 in the "midsummer classic" on Tuesday night capping off nearly a decade of futility for the National League. The AL All-Stars improved to 8-0-1 in the last nine games and secured home field advanta...

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National Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan

Funny story: National Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan

The national debt has been reported to be only $7,826,689,777,692.15 as of the 30th of June, 2005. That's only a couple trillion more than all others countries combined. So what does this mean? It means that, according to the estimated population her...

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Liberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy

Funny story: Liberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy

"okay okay, Bush won, we can work with this," exclaimed Tad Hamilton of the Democratic National Committee. Hamilton explained that the left can simply return to the 'comfortable' position they've held for the last four years.

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Nation loses the other Ronald

Funny story: Nation loses the other Ronald

The US was today bidding farewell to Ronald McDonald on a national day of mourning of a scale not seen for generations.

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Michael Moore Offers Un-biased Opinion of Bush

Funny story: Michael Moore Offers Un-biased Opinion of Bush

Michael Moore, producer of the new movie, "Fahrenheit 9-11," which portrays G.W. Bush as less than presidentially adept, was prompted by reporters, "Mr. Moore, do you believe that your movie will have an influence on the 2004 national...

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Paranoia Club Closes

Funny story: Paranoia Club Closes

A social club, exclusive to paranoics, has had to close down this week after the government withdrew funding. The club made national headlines last month when it revealed that no-one had been invited to officiate, nor attend, the grand opening ceremony. Officials even refused to disclose the name, and location, of the club. An act which led to the government stepping in and withdrawing all...

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Dukakis Makes New Bid for Nomination!

Boston (AP) Former Governor Michael Dukakis says he will make one last bid for the Presidential race. Speaking before a large gathering of losers from the Democratic National Committee, Mr. Dukakis said, "I got a raw deal last time. My advisors...

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New Study Reveals That Explosions Are Cool

Funny story: New Study Reveals That Explosions Are Cool

Boomer, Wyoming - A scientific study, published by the National Institute for Blowing Things Up, indicates that explosions are cool.

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National draft may affect Local Procrastinator

Funny story: National draft may affect Local Procrastinator

Broken Bow, Nebraska...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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