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Funny satire stories about nails

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Heather's Nails are Simply Stunning

Isle of Wight News - Heather's Nails are Simply Stunning

Heather Fields, 24, of Shanklin has put the Isle of Wight on the map thanks to her nails! In the National Nail Championships held at Birmingham's NEC Arena, Heather competed among the country's finest nail growers. "It's such an honour," said H...
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Funny story: Biting Nails Strongly Linked To Having Short Nails

Biting Nails Strongly Linked To Having Short Nails

Medical studies by the Institute Of Stating The Obvious at Harvard University have discovered a shocking link between people with uneven, short finger nails and those that bite their nails. The team of students studied several people over a period...
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Funny story: Nail clippers

Nail clippers

Keswick University's year long study into the sales of nail clippers has come to a remarkable conclusion. "We discovered that nail clippers very rarely break," said Ian Dexter, who headed up the study. "They are generally very sturdy. Yet they are...
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Funny story: Ordinary bloke ridiculed for growing his nails

Ordinary bloke ridiculed for growing his nails

For thirty-five years, Tony Hawton of Bridlington had been a nail biter. However, his wife of ten years had finally had enough and told him to stop. "I was quite shocked," said Hawton. "She said she was just fed up to the back teeth with my auto-c...
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Funny story: Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose. Charlie Shitter, Man with the World's Longest Pinkie Fingernail, begs to differ. Shitter, whose fingern...
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Funny story: Nonagenarian New York DA Morgenthau nails Craigslist Rapist and 'demonic' assistant

Nonagenarian New York DA Morgenthau nails Craigslist Rapist and 'demonic' assistant

New York - (Sordid Ass Mess): He'll be 90 at the end of next month but he's still The Big Apple's top dog when it comes to screwing over the felons, deviants, nutters and perverts that sully the benches of the Manhattan State Supreme Court. And th...
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Funny story: New Joint Invented

New Joint Invented

Timothy Burr, a cabinet maker from Nottingham, has invented a new form of woodworking joint. It is a straight cut interleaved joint between two flat pieces of wood, such as in the back corner of a drawer, but with an important addition. Whereas...
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Funny story: Long nails a health hazard?

Long nails a health hazard?

Long red nails are a much sought after fashion accessory, but do you know where they have been?...
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Funny story: Beauty Queen Breaks Nail - Gets Bombed

Beauty Queen Breaks Nail - Gets Bombed

2008 Miss East Coast winner, Kirsten Hagland, broke a nail yesterday while in the airport. So, she called her friend, who asked to remain anonymous, and started yelling about how she broke her nail.
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Funny story: Olsen Twins Nailed following a case of Mistaken Identity

Olsen Twins Nailed following a case of Mistaken Identity

Las Angeles - Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were celebrating the opening of a new Taco Bell by wearing sombreros, when they were mistaken for two nails and hammered into the drywall of a nearby construction site.
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