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New Mortgage Rate System Rated (We Need To Hire A Snappy Headline Writer)

Funny story: New Mortgage Rate System Rated (We Need To Hire A Snappy Headline Writer)

In a shakeup to the way we apply for mortgage's people will now take a personality test to see if their eligible to receive a large sum of money for them to own their own property. The test will take the form of a quiz with a number of questions and...

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Moolah.web enters mortgage market

Funny story: Moolah.web enters mortgage market

Moolah.web is set to continue their slow crucifixion of the poor with a mortgage product aimed specifically at "The desperate and gullible." Director Jacob Pretzelwitz was typically frank about the application process. "If they let us through the...

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Freddie Mac to be downgraded from 'Satan incarnate' to 'Satan's minion'

Funny story: Freddie Mac to be downgraded from 'Satan incarnate' to 'Satan's minion'

McLEAN, Va. - The nation is in utter shock to learn this week that the taxpayer-owned mortgage giant, Freddie Mac, is actually out to turn a profit. For the past two years, Freddie Mac has been placing multibillion-dollar bets that homeowners won'...

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John Terry to move back into Barking council house

Funny story: John Terry to move back into Barking council house

The mysterious finances of Chelsea skipper John Terry took another twist last night when he and his family moved back to the area where he was born - straight into a four bed council house. The 'stun' newspaper revealed he remortgaged his home in...

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Delinquent Equity Loan Forces Foreclosure of White House

Funny story: Delinquent Equity Loan Forces Foreclosure of White House

A home equity loan taken out by Congress in 2008 for much-needed renovations to the White House has fallen seriously in default and rumors are swirling that the bank holding the loan is considering foreclosure on the structure. While the first mor...

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Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

Funny story: Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

Dover, DE (BNSE): Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States' largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in...

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Bank of England to cap mortgages

Funny story: Bank of England to cap mortgages

When going to the polls voters always dream, as new labour put it, - "things can only get better" but then this is the method by which everything is 'packaged' these days. How gulliable are we? Just bought your car insurance? - Oh dear, you could...

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"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

Funny story: "You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...

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Calls for mortgage 'exam' before borrowing

Malcolm Hurlston of the Consumer Credit Counselling Service proposed today that clients should have to pass an exam before being allowed a mortgage. Here at Spoofnews, we have obtained a draft copy of some of the exam questions: Dodgy Back Street Lender: Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer: 1) Would you like a mortgage? Yes Reputable High...

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Andrew Lloyd Weber to Compose Phantom of the Mortgage

Funny story: Andrew Lloyd Weber to Compose Phantom of the Mortgage

After composing sentimental schmaltz after soap operatic schlock, British potboiler Andrew Lloyd Weber has announced his decision to turn to the high drama of the world of tall finance and elevated governmental corruption. Lord Andrew who receiv...

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New York City: Jail Is "Recession Insulation"

(New York-NY) Next month, the New York State Department of Corrections will launch a marketing campaign: "Jail Means Security" is the campaign's slogan. New York State Governor David Paterson announced the campaign at a press conference Friday mo...

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No house in Britain can be sold

Funny story: No house in Britain can be sold

Not a single home nor mortgage was sold in February. Mortgage Lenders Council (MLC) figures out today show no new mortgages were sold and only 132 remortgage deals were passed. Net mortgage lending rose 43 per cent. Alex Rumpelstiltskin, MLC...

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Man Living In Cave Faces Foreclosure

Funny story: Man Living In Cave Faces Foreclosure

You've heard plenty of stories about foreclosures, but the latest victims of this brutal recession are about to lose their cave they bought on eBay. That's right. For nearly five years, Charles Finny and his family have lived in a cave. His mor...

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Government buys Everything

Funny story: Government buys Everything

In a surprise move today the government announced that it will issue compulsory purchase orders for every house and plot of land in the country. The government regards this as simply an expansion of its Heathrow Airport purchase plans. A spokesp...

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Bank Launches New "Buy Forget" Mortgage

Funny story: Bank Launches New "Buy Forget" Mortgage

Buoyed by news that the Newcastle Stone bank is to be relaunched as a "Good Bank" as part of the government's efforts to stimulate lending, the lender today announced it's latest innovative product. "You've all heard of the so-called Buy-to-Let mo...

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Obama Solves Mortgage Crisis

Funny story: Obama Solves Mortgage Crisis

President-elect Barack Obama announced his plan to solve the mortgage crisis Friday morning. Effective January 31st, the government will take over all private property. "Private ownership is the root cause of these problems," said Larry Summers, O...

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RBS delays repossessions

Funny story: RBS delays repossessions

In a ray of good news during the economic crisis, RBS have stated that they will give a six month grace period to home owners defaulting on their mortgages. "We're just jolly nice chaps," said Richard Bertram-Smythe, the man who gave his initials...

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McCain would buy bad homeowner mortgages

Funny story: McCain would buy bad homeowner mortgages

Taking a break from campaigning, Senator McCain said he couldn't resist taking advantage of some very irresistible deals. Cashing in on the cheap unwanted mortgage deals, being sold by failing banks worldwide, McCain has snapped up what he calls "...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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