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DEA relieves drug cartel’s cellulose constipation

Funny story: DEA relieves drug cartel’s cellulose constipation

Tijuana, Mexico - Juan Valdez, of the Shinola drug cartel here, called a press conference today to thank the DEA for removing several pounds of hundred-dollar bills from his colon. He stated: I was s-o-o-o-o constipated! I’d run out of room to...

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Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Funny story: Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Gnomes of Zurich, Shitzerland - The CEO of fucked-up Hellfire Bank Zurich has groveled in pubic about grassing up dodgy clients' secret bank accounts. Lord Hellfire of Mammon issued a heartfelt - ok, ok, a wallet-felt! - apology to 100,000 Z-Liste...

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Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Funny story: Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Switzerland - Hellfire Bank's Gnomes of Zurich subsidiary hid billions of $$$ for drug lords, arms dealers and Z-Lister royals according to a new report. Celeb non-entities laundered their coke-dealing squillions via the Swiss bank's private arm i...

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Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

Funny story: Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

The Queen was briefly interviewed by the Spanish Inquisition during the Royal Vatican Inspection last week it was revealed. After arriving at The Vatican with twelve articulated trucks full of dirty money and 4 Transits full of bedraggled swans inten...

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Pope Francis not Frightened of Mafia "Cissy Boys"

Funny story: Pope Francis not Frightened of Mafia "Cissy Boys"

Pope Francis told shocked Mafia delegates at a meeting of Godfathers yesterday that their blood-stained money, blood-stained power and bllod stained handkerchiefs, can't now be taken with them into the next life when the new blood stain laundering me...

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Brit Bank refuses to hand out savers own money!

Funny story: Brit Bank refuses to hand out savers own money!

One of Britains leading banks have decided to stop handing out savers own money if they cannot explain what they are going to do with their own money! Larger amounts of their customers own money is being kept because most banks are a bunch of ti...

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'Canadian Polar Bears Scupper Biggest Business Deal In History'

Funny story: 'Canadian Polar Bears Scupper Biggest Business Deal In History'

The head of Verhizon Communications Inc. says the U.S. Company is not planning to enter the Canadian wireless telecom market because of Polar Bears and French speaking Quebecois people ''who make me sick as they have been persecuting Polar Bears''.

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Vatican Bank on verge of collapse as big heads roll in night of long knives

Funny story: Vatican Bank on verge of collapse as big heads roll in night of long knives

Rome - Top knobs running the Vatican Bank fell on their tarnished swords this morning amid aftershocks in the latest money laundering scandal to grip the Holy C. Bank director Renzo Dolcelatte and his deputy Massimo Gorgonzola have fled the Bank's...

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Another 'God's Banker' busted in Vatican money laundering racket

Funny story: Another 'God's Banker' busted in Vatican money laundering racket

Rome - A Vatican Airways cargo plane loaded with €20m of illicit cash stuffed into North Face-Off zip-up holdalls was readying to take off from Switzerland's Gnomes of Zurich Airport when police swooped late last night. The seizure, part of an ong...

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Dyson money sanitisers now on sale

Funny story: Dyson money sanitisers now on sale

James Dyson, Britain's answer to Sir Clive Sinclair, has topped his trumps with his latest invention in the personal hygiene market: The Personalised Home Money Sanitiser. "This is a major step forward in cleanliness," said James Dyson. "We all kn...

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Russia has the largest money washing machine on the planet and it's not a German Miele!

Funny story: Russia has the largest money washing machine on the planet and it's not a German Miele!

Russia is losing billions of "dirty dollars" annually because they are being washed by a huge machine run by a bunch of criminal Scrubbers. Russian billionaires, the Russian Mafia and other criminal organisations are making sure that their hard-e...

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British bank in US owned by Columbia drug cartels and Mafia!

Funny story: British bank in US owned by Columbia drug cartels and Mafia!

The US senate have accused a British bank, better known as "Home Suiting Biggest Criminals", of allowing billions of drug money and huge sums from banned nations such as Iran and North korea to slip through their fingers. The washing machines at the...

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Revealed: Obama Claims 17 Dependents to IRS. Trump: Who Dey Bro?

Funny story: Revealed: Obama Claims 17 Dependents to IRS. Trump: Who Dey Bro?

"It ain't over till Aunt Zulu Sings," so said Donald Trump today after revealing that President Barack Obama claimed 17 dependents on his 2010 tax return! Trump, standing in the wings as Hair Apparent for the 2012 Presidential Election, ratcheted...

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Canada 'tossed me under bus': Harper

Prime Minister of Canada Steven Harper lashed out at Canada Friday over his treatment when he was kicked out of the Conservative caucus over sensational allegations. Harper took aim at country after a Friday news conference in Collingwood, Ont., s...

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Illuminati and the Bilderbergs Team up to Create Network Marketing Program

Funny story: Illuminati and the Bilderbergs Team up to Create Network Marketing Program

Undisclosed location, Earth - The quarterly joint meeting between the Illuminati and The Bilderberg Group turned out to interesting (this time) to the masses of "lower-class citizens". It seems the Illuminati and Bilderbergs have gone completely o...

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Nigerian money laundering email scam hits House of Lords

Funny story: Nigerian money laundering email scam hits House of Lords

London - (Slush Fund News): A new twist on the classic Nigerian money laundering email scam has rocked the House of Lords this week. Self-confessed banker to the IRA Lord James of Blackheath told astonished peers on Monday that a very important -...

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Irish Nuns Launder Drug Money From Al Queda To Send To Polishers

Funny story: Irish Nuns Launder Drug Money From Al Queda To Send To Polishers

Dublin (What's the crack mess) An underground network of evil Irish nuns are laundering drug money obtained via Al Queda sources and sending it to French Polishers - who then funnel the money back to Ireland where the nuns use the cash to buy Dan...

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Oprah Accused of Money Laundering

Funny story: Oprah Accused of Money Laundering

(Chicago) - Super rich talk show host, Oprah Wimpy, today was accused of money laundering.

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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