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Funny story: Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends: When the Rapture begins on May 21st, you guys get to go first. (Not sure how you people worked that out, what with you guys not believing that Christ is our savior, and then killing him and all. I'm not sure how that works, but, ya know, whatevs. I guess the lawyers were working overtime on that deal, huh?) Do us a favor and save us some seats? I gotta get the kids dress...
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Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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