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Funny story: Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...
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Funny story: HUD proposes masturbation ban in public housing, citing dangers of warts

HUD proposes masturbation ban in public housing, citing dangers of warts

WASHINGTON, DC - The federal government is seeking to ban masturbation in all of the nation's 13.2 million public housing units. In its proposed rule, announced Thursday, the Department of Housing and Urban Development would require more than 3,10...
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Funny story: Teenager lends laptop he used for masturbation 10 minutes earlier to mother

Teenager lends laptop he used for masturbation 10 minutes earlier to mother

CLEVELAND, OH--Hoping for the best, local teenager Nate Bannington handed his laptop computer--which he had used 10 minutes earlier for masturbation--to his mother, Dorothy Bannington. "I just got back from school and I had some free time on my h...
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Funny story: Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Men who masturbate have been given a dire warning by a Muslim televangelist who claimed live on TV that they will find their hands PREGNANT in the afterlife. Mucahid Cihad Han made the bizarre statement in a question and answer session on a radica...
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Funny story: Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Bernard Buttspike, 44, is arguably the UK's fattest man at a gut-busting 71 stone. Bernard, who has never had a job and who is estimated to have received over half a million pounds in benefits over the last 25 years, has long claimed that he is 't...
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Funny story: Apple grabs the wrist for its next fashion destination

Apple grabs the wrist for its next fashion destination

Cupertino, California -- Following up on the overwhelming success of its family of smart wristwatches, Apple has staked out the area where your hand joins your arm as the market space for a new line of standalone fashions. Meet Apple Wrist Wearables.
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Funny story: Mark Stone can still jerk off

Mark Stone can still jerk off

There was a scary moment in last night's game between the Ottawa Senators and the Montreal Canadiens. Following a PK Subban slash, Ottawa's Mark Stone collapse on the ice, writhing in pain. He promptly left the ice holding his right wrist. "I'm o...
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Funny story: Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Once again, Pope Francis is trying to manage the intimate details of the lives of his flock. Previously, in a mixed metaphor, the pontiff raised eyebrows by suggesting that the faithful, who are made in God's image, are "not rabbits" and should no...
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Funny story: Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

A new Republican bill before Congress criminalizes coitus interruptis --the act of male withdrawal during heterosexual intercourse seconds before orgasm so as to avoid pregnancy. "If we're going to illegalize abortion and birth control," said Rep...
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Funny story: Madonna Posing Topless As Aging Male Fans Hope They're Still Erection-Capable

Madonna Posing Topless As Aging Male Fans Hope They're Still Erection-Capable

At 56, Madonna has posed topless for a magazine photo shoot, hoping to prove that the same 16-year-old boys first experiencing the wonders of manhood by masturbating to her nude photos 30 years ago, will still do as lonely, broken, well-moisturized m...
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Funny story: Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...
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Funny story: Armless man caught masturbating on subway

Armless man caught masturbating on subway

A disturbing scene unfolded on the Los Angeles Metro Red Line Monday afternoon (Yes, L.A. actually does have mass transit), when an armless man began masturbating on the train in plain sight. The incident, which occurred around 4:30 PM between th...
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Funny story: Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Iowa today spoke about the "sanctity of sacred sperm." "While it is true that a fertilized egg is a person, which is my position that certainly outlaws abortion in the cases of rape or incest,...
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Funny story: Tybee Man Tells Son That 'Selfies' Could Make Him Go Blind

Tybee Man Tells Son That 'Selfies' Could Make Him Go Blind

A Tybee Island father who tried to lecture his son on the dangers of 'selfies', after learning his son had posted about them on Facebook has made a complete fool of himself. Kevin Weller, 47, told his 15 year old son, Bobby, that not only were 's...
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Funny story: Marathon Session Of James Bond DVD Viewing Comes To Abrupt Halt

Marathon Session Of James Bond DVD Viewing Comes To Abrupt Halt

A Florida man's highly anticipated weekend of watching every James Bond on DVD came to a sudden and abrupt halt mid way through the movie 'Die Another Day'. The man, who can not be named for legal reasons (imminent divorce proceedings), was mid wa...
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Funny story: Scientists promise New Robotic Arm will make masturbation "incredible"

Scientists promise New Robotic Arm will make masturbation "incredible"

Scientists in San Francisco have unveiled a new robotic arm at the 2014 Technology Spring Convention. The machine which has taken 8 years to make, is made of steel but wrapped in a case of plastics made to resemble human skin. Head scientist Roger...
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Funny story: The greatest love of all

The greatest love of all

Let's face it guys, we all get nervous before a date with a beautiful young lady. And if it is one that you suspect and hope that you are going to get lucky on, then it's only natural that some performance anxiety will creep in. There are several ways to combat this but one of the commonest is to have a little "me time" prior to your date. This not only relaxes you but will hopefully make you a li...
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Funny story: Voyeurism: It's not just for perverts anymore!

Voyeurism: It's not just for perverts anymore!

Voyeurism is the pastime of spying on someone who is unaware of his or her presence. were the victim aware, he or she (usually, she) wouldn't be lolling around naked in the first place, especially in the presence, seen or unseen, of anyone else (unless she is also an exhibitionist). If the voyeur is hard up enough to ogle someone in secret and there is no one available to ogle, he will usually...
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Breaking News...

Obama Hit For Hypocracy

A white police cop roughed up Harvard prof, Henry Louis Gates & the Pres. said it was stupid but apologized. After he fired a black woman Shirley Sharrod who Brietbart lied about he wouldn't hire her.
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