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Funny satire stories about mass shootings

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Funny story: Difficult to See How Las Vegas Massacre Could Have Been Avoided

Difficult to See How Las Vegas Massacre Could Have Been Avoided

Republicans sifting through the stack of legally purchased guns that Stephen Paddock brought into his bedroom, half of which he'd converted into simulated automatic weapons, are at a loss to see how the massacre that killed 58 innocent people could h...
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Funny story: Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Even as the rate of all other gun-related crimes had been decreasing in the United States for decades, the rate of mass shootings had steadily increased as gun show loopholes were found to circumvent bans on assault rifles, mental health centers were...
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Funny story: Legendary "good guy with a gun" yet to be discovered

Legendary "good guy with a gun" yet to be discovered

Despite many years of searching and the six hundredth mass shooting in the U.S. this week alone the legendary figure of the "good guy with a gun" is yet to make an appearance. One of the most enduring characters in American folklore, alongside th...
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Funny story: Obama Orders American Flag Lowered to Half-Staff in Anticipation of Next Mass Shooting

Obama Orders American Flag Lowered to Half-Staff in Anticipation of Next Mass Shooting

WASHINGTON--Noting it was best to "get a jump on this thing," President Obama ordered a preemptive lowering of the nation's flags to half-staff in anticipation of the next mass shooting to befall the country Friday. "At this juncture, I feel...
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Funny story: Finley Quaid Recovering After Paris Concert Shootings

Finley Quaid Recovering After Paris Concert Shootings

A total of 89 people fans were killed and more than 100 injured when anti trip hop gunmen stormed the Bataclan concert hall during a gig by UK singing artist Finley Quaid on Friday. Finley, 58, whose only UK chart hit to date is 'Because I love y...
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Funny story: Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Yesterday morning, everyone in the lower forty-eight states was killed or critically wounded in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Investigators from Canada's RCMP and Mexico's Policia Federales issued the following joint statement (as they...
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Despite Celebrating Crowds, Mugabe of Zimbabwe Won't Recognize Coup

The 93-year old thinks it's his birthday again and thanks all the demonstrators.
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