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Funny satire stories about marmite

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Funny story: Who put the might in Marmite?

Who put the might in Marmite?

Who put the "might" in Marmite? By Rob Barratt The sandwich beast A feast of yeast Historic remnant of the brewer A staple of the English po-or Extracted now from Danish shelves Spread the word, assert yourselves But don't break down as a knackered car might And don't let the Danes get rid of Marmite Some say that you must love or hate it It's not like cheese, you just can't grate i...
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Funny story: Marmite Row Spreads To Tetley's Brewery Closure: Anti-Dane Feeling Grows

Marmite Row Spreads To Tetley's Brewery Closure: Anti-Dane Feeling Grows

News that an MP has tabled an Early Day Motion condemning the closure of Leeds's Tetley brewery has fuelled the growing anti-Dane mood in the UK. As we reported yesterday, the Danish government's decision to ban the sale of Marmite in the country...
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Funny story: Marmite Ban In Denmark Provokes Strong UK Response

Marmite Ban In Denmark Provokes Strong UK Response

Denmark's banning of Marmite, the UK's favourite savoury spread, has provoked a massive response from British authorities. All books written by Hans Christian Anderson, including The Ugly Duckling, are to be thrown on bonfires built outside librar...
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Funny story: Marmite Demonstrations Hit Am-Dram Hamlets throughout UK

Marmite Demonstrations Hit Am-Dram Hamlets throughout UK

Amateur theatre groups throughout the UK are facing huge losses following Denmark's decision to ban Marmite. Community centres and civic theatres up and down the country are currently advertising performances of Shakespeare's Hamlet but authoritie...
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Funny story: Marmite War Threat

Marmite War Threat

Danish sales of Marmite have nosedived due to the Government forbidding the import of Marmite as a 'harmful food'. But a growing body of opinion is suggesting that the volcanic eruptions in Iceland and the resultant ash clouds are the result of the D...
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Funny story: Gomes the new face for Marmite

Gomes the new face for Marmite

Heurelho Gomes is to become the new face of UK leading brand Marmite. The Marmite famous catchphrase, 'you either love it or hate it', is said to sum up the Tottenham goalkeeper and will be the perfect new addition to the company. John Cartwrig...
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Funny story: Derek Acorah fronts new Yeast Based Product Campaign

Derek Acorah fronts new Yeast Based Product Campaign

The Yeast Based Product Smarmite, beloved or hated product that it is, has recently been using the General Election as part of its advertising. With the election finishing, Smarmite are looking for a new angle. "For years, we've used the Love it o...
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Funny story: Man Might vote Marmite

Man Might vote Marmite

After the number of times the Marmite advertisement has been shown a man has come forward saying he wants to vote Marmite. Victor Meldrew who is totally pissed of with the lot of them said "We have had Blairites, and Brownites, and other Shites, a...
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Funny story: Nick Griffin Strips Naked, Covers Himself With Marmite And Declares "I'm Full Of Goodness!"

Nick Griffin Strips Naked, Covers Himself With Marmite And Declares "I'm Full Of Goodness!"

BNP leader Nick Griffin was embroiled in a row with Marmite earlier today following his behaviour at a party meeting. Griffin attended the meeting at Stoke-on-Trent wearing only a thin layer of Marmite. He urged party members to "try a lick and see i...
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Funny story: Marmite XO: The Extra Strong Yeast Infection Goes On Sale in UK! Customers Holding Their Breath!

Marmite XO: The Extra Strong Yeast Infection Goes On Sale in UK! Customers Holding Their Breath!

Hard core Brits are waiting with baited breath (whew) for the long awaited extra strength cracker spread Marmite, which goes on sale early next month in time for St. Patrick's Day. The much maligned Spread for Bread, around since 1902 , has a str...
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Funny story: Government 'unaware' of Marmite

Government 'unaware' of Marmite

The Foreign Office has denied allegations that British Prisoners at Guantanamo Bay were subjected to Marmite. The use of Marmite is banned under the Geneva Convention as a cruel and unusual punishment, so any idea that the government has been awar...
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Funny story: Twiglet Conundrum

Twiglet Conundrum

Scientists in Britain have found a break-through for people who like Twiglets, but can't stand Marmite. Professor Dingle from the University of Emmerdale said: 'For years Marmite has been sold with the tag-line, you either love it, or you hate it?...
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Funny story: Marmite To Be Made Compulsory In The National Curriculum

Marmite To Be Made Compulsory In The National Curriculum

The Education Minister Ed Bollocks has announced that Marmite, the love it or hate it vegetable based spread will be made part of the National Curriculum from September 2008. 'It is important that the pros and cons of Marmite is made available to...
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Funny story: Paddington Bear says he sold out

Paddington Bear says he sold out

Beloved bear from Darkest Peru, Paddington Bear says that he was sold out by his creators to further the cause of Satan's recipe, Marmite.
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Funny story: Marmite crisis in Korea

Marmite crisis in Korea

Since Korea restarted its nuclear program there have been many sanctions imposed on it by the UN and the USA. Wheat and rice have been sanctioned along side chocolate. However none of these has had a greater effect than the banned import of marmite i...
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Funny story: Marmite: I have feelings too

Marmite: I have feelings too

Marmite has lambasted British youngsters for destroying the nation's "stiff upper lip" image.
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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