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Funny story: Balotelli booed, battered and Borussia-d off!

Balotelli booed, battered and Borussia-d off!

After being involved in Man City's dreadful exhibition of anti-football played by a bunch of multi-millionaire cheats, Signor Balotelli, innocently, was booed off of the Dortmund pitch by 86000 laughing, happy Germans (unusual occurrence; apart from...
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Funny story: Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...
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Funny story: The Manchester Money Men

The Manchester Money Men

Roberto Mancini has ordered rival managers to stop talking about the amount of money he is spending. "I will not have these baseless accusations thrown at me and my club. We are spending well within our means...." Yeah, if you were a small oil...
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Funny story: Die hard Man Utd fans attempt to commit suicide at news of Van Persie's injury!

Die hard Man Utd fans attempt to commit suicide at news of Van Persie's injury!

Robin Van Persie was injured last night playing for Holland and as the news slowly reached the Mancunian regions (Red light District not blue movie area) several hundred United fans were seen heading for the local, fog ridden (that was written by Aga...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Talksport Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle I find handcuffs work best. Daily Mail Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Have you thought about seeing a clairvoyant? Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-yea...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...
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Funny story: Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final Preview - Torres v Balotelli the key

Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final Preview - Torres v Balotelli the key

Euro 2012 draws to a close on Sunday with a final between defending champions Spain and Italy. Spain scraped past Portugal in the semi-final on penalties, while Italy upset the form book beating Germany with two goals from Mario Balotelli. Now, w...
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Funny story: Balotelli's boots are not bigger than his mouth!

Balotelli's boots are not bigger than his mouth!

Infamous Italian substitute and general outrageous loud-mouth, Mario Balotelli (who?), proved last night that his gigantic mouth is bigger than his huge boots. After receiving 15 minutes of play from the Italian coach, he managed to swing his boot...
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Funny story: Balotelli admits; "I am a genius; Dickhead!"

Balotelli admits; "I am a genius; Dickhead!"

It is now official, Italian soccer star, Mario Balotelli, who does nothing apart from sitting on the bench when others are winning titles, chasing porno / striptease stars in front of the paparazzii and flashing his mega-bucks all over Manchester, am...
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Funny story: Tevez Wins PFA 'Idiot Of The Year' Award

Tevez Wins PFA 'Idiot Of The Year' Award

Manchester City striker, Carlos Tevez, has claimed the highly coverted 'Idiot of the year' award at this years glittering PFA awards ceremony. Tevez, who was the clear favourite with bookmakers, had tears in his eyes as he collected the award. Spe...
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Funny story: Super Mario - Red Card - Game Over

Super Mario - Red Card - Game Over

It looks like it's finally 'game over' for Super Mario Balotelli, following his disgraceful and petulant red carded display at the Emirates during Manchester City's Premiership aspiration destroying defeat. Informed speculators have apparently con...
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Funny story: Balotellis Blood Brother

Balotellis Blood Brother

The football world's greatest car crash player "Super" Mario Balotelli has a new rival for his throne of "Pratt in chief of the Premier League". His best friend Luigi Falcone is in talks to sign for hated rivals Manchester United. Luigi 21 said:...
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Funny story: Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Beleaguered Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has admitted that contrary to popular belief, wayward striker Mario Baletolli is not his son. 'I do not know who started this rumour' said Mancini 'but I can confirm that although I know his mother...
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Funny story: Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Controversial (understatement) Italian footy star, Mario Balotelli, has decided to remain anonymous whilst up to his rather naughty antics around the Manchester area. He claims the publicity is just too much when he's acting like a moron; albeit, he'...
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Funny story: "FFS Lay Off Balotelli!" - Says Die Hard United Fan

"FFS Lay Off Balotelli!" - Says Die Hard United Fan

Die hard Manchester United fan, Donald Skoob, a janitor at Salford University, today appealed to the media, and his fellow fans, to lay off Mario Balotelli. Skoob roundly condemned the media sensationalism surrounding the young Italian striker, in...
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Funny story: Mario Balotelli reveals lack of goal celebration v Porto in Europa League.

Mario Balotelli reveals lack of goal celebration v Porto in Europa League.

Wacky Italian footballer Mario Balotelli today stole the show at the press conference for the Man City v Porto Europa League second leg. In a performance of Cantona-esque proportions he explained his refusal to celebrate the crucial goal in the fi...
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Funny story: New Tarzan is a Balotelli fan!

New Tarzan is a Balotelli fan!

A Manchester man and ex body-builder who once worked at the local Co-op has turned his back on the bright lights (what?) of his home town and answered a call from the African bush. He travelled to South Africa in a leopard skin leotard and skimpy...
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Funny story: "Howard Webb feels persecuted" - agent

"Howard Webb feels persecuted" - agent

Manchester United 12th man and referee Howard Webb's agent Rino Maiola says the ref feels "a little bit persecuted" after clashing with Mario Ballotelli in Sunday's Man City v Spurs game. Maiola says Webb is "very disappointed and a little bit ang...
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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