Outer Space - (Bodily Functions Mess): Sympathisers of former NASA astronut Capt Lisa Nowak are the main suspects behind the trashing of the International Space Station's only on-board lavatory according to reports today.
Orlando, Florida - (Insanity Press): Former NASA pilot Captain Lisa Nowak has pleaded temporary insanity as a defense on attempted kidnapping, battery and burglary with assault charges against fellow-NASA astronut Colleen Shipman.
Orlando, Florida - Former astronaut, Lisa Nowak, appeared in court today asking the judge to removed the court ordered electronic monitoring ankle bracelet, reportedly because it obstructs her ability to drive across county, sleep in underground park...
Cape Canaveral, Florida - (Ass Mess): The US government's space advisor, the National Research Council, has urged NASA to start a search for what it describes as "weird life" to replace disgraced love-tug astronut Captain Lisa Nowak fol...
Florida - (Ass Mess): Love-tug NASA astronut Captain Lisa Nowak has vehemently denied being a "nappy ho" in court today despite police claims that she drove 1000 miles to accost her rival dressed only in a NASA-issue diaper.
Outer Space - (Ass Mess): Jilted former NASA Captain Lisa Nowak may have sabotaged the International Space Station's computer banks as all six main control computers failed today.
Cape Canaveral - (Ass Mess): NASA is to send an FBI-reinforced extradition team to the International Space Station to deport space shuttle pilot William Oefelein where he is in hiding after lurid publicity surrounding the Lisa Nowak love triangle epi...
Orlando, Florida - (Ass Mess): An Orlando court has heard today that tug-of-love astronut Lisa Nowak is known to her friends and colleagues as 'smart but hellish'.
Orlando, Florida - (Ass Mess): A NASA random search of Lisa Nowak's International Space Station locker found hundreds of bondage pictures featuring the love-tug astronut and her sex threesome partners Colleen Shipman and Commander Bill Old-Feline...
International Sapce Station - (Ass Press): Disgraced love-tug astronut Captain Lisa Nowak is set to redeem her tacky image and run this year's Boston Marathon on board the International Space Station.
Orlando, Fla. - In a surprise defense strategy, the attorney for rogue Astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak, of Houston, Texas now blames an article that appeared in the Februrary 5 issue of Time Magazine for the woman's early hours astrosault on another w...
In a surprise move, George W. Bush named former Astronaut Lisa Nowak to head the IRS, FEMA and the Border Patrol. Before Nowak can assume her duties she must be cleared of any charges in the "Diapergate" incident.
Lackland Air Force Base - (Rioters): Michelle Mantrap, the 38-24-36 USAF drill sergeant demoted for her nude Playboy centerfold pictures, has been invited by NASA to audition for the replacement position formerly occupied by Captain Lisa Nowak, the D...
Depends, the manufacturers of adult diapers are to unveil a new ad campaign. The new ads, unfortunately too late to premier during the Super Bowl, will feature none other than Astronaut Lisa Nowak.
Cape Canaveral - (Rioters): The high-tech secrets of the recently installed ISS extension have been outed as a simple love shack that NASA's robotic arm operator Captain Lisa Nowak helped to erect last December under a cloak of classified secrecy...
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An original metaphor:
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