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Funny satire stories about lightning

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Funny story:  Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

A report by the Football Association has accidentally stumbled across information indicating that Sir Alex Ferguson is a Sith. The governing body was forced to launch an inquiry after various premiership clubs alleged that he had the ability to in...
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Funny story:  Nix-names banned from Defence Procurements

Nix-names banned from Defence Procurements

Amid concerns that the new F35 'Lightning II' fighter jet can be exploded by lightning, and that the 'Rivet Joint' aircraft may be barely airworthy the armed forces have now been instructed to adhere to a stricter naming convention. Cuthbert Pomfr...
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Funny story:  Local Millionaire Offers Reward for Quieter Lightning Storms

Local Millionaire Offers Reward for Quieter Lightning Storms

Boca Grande, Fl - A local man has offered a $200,000 reward to anyone who can find a way to make quieter thunderstorms. Morty Shafter, who describes himself as a retired marine biologist from New York, offered the reward after discovering Flo...
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Funny story:  Electrified Testicles Explain UFO Sightings

Electrified Testicles Explain UFO Sightings

Boffins worldwide have been stunned by findings that suggest flying saucers can be explained by distressed male organs. Professor Cletus X Scrotum, of the Institute of Weird Science at Harvard, has been studying the phenomenon of UFOs for years an...
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Funny story:  TV Giraffe Hamley (RIP) sticks his neck out too far and is struck by lightning!

TV Giraffe Hamley (RIP) sticks his neck out too far and is struck by lightning!

The popular TV giraffe called Hamley (RIP) stuck his neck out once too far, got struck by lightning and is now a stiff long-necked "stiff" giraffe. The freak accident happened on a Safari park in South Africa where Hamley was busy chewing on his f...
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Funny story:  Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Long thought to be different names for the same eternal and fiery destination, Florida pornography producer, polygamist and convicted drug smuggler, Bernie Smurphwank says "not so". During a recent golf event, Smurphwank was struck by lightning on t...
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Funny story:  "Touchdown Jesus" Slain While Seeking Medical Attention

"Touchdown Jesus" Slain While Seeking Medical Attention

After an hours-long standoff outside a hospital in Southwestern Ohio, it appears that the much beloved icon "Touchdown Jesus" has died from wounds inflicted by local police and sheriffs' deputies, as well as a National Guard unit that was called to t...
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Funny story:  Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

A 19 metres tall and 12 metres wide statue of Jesus Christ no longer stands after Jesus' relative, Mother Nature, was alleged to have been called in to "strike it down". In Ohio, locals were at a loss why a lightening strike choose there treasured...
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Funny story:  Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Columbus Day tourists to the famed Lincoln Memorial fled in terror as the famous statue rose from it's perch after an errant lightning bolt struck it. Rising to a height of 28 feet tall, the bewildered behemoth lumbered forth smashing the Doric co...
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Funny story:  Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - With the cause of lightning supposedly still a matter of debate, and with theories ranging from the laughable to the somewhat plausible, San Francisco Onion staff writer and physicist Ginger Steele decided to weigh in on the matte...
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Funny story:  Miss California Silenced by Inexplicable Lightning Strike

Miss California Silenced by Inexplicable Lightning Strike

SAN DIEGO, CA - Reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean is convalescing at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego after being felled by a freak lightning strike this afternoon. Police have launched a full investigation into the incident after police...
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Funny story:  iPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine

iPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine

Los Angeles, California - The New England Journal of Medicine warns iPod users this week not to tempt fate in these final days as we wait upon the judgment by wearing iPods, during a thunderstorm and especially while listening to 'heavy metal,...
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Funny story:  White Lightning by Billy Bob Browning

White Lightning by Billy Bob Browning

White lightnin', it is really gud, Ah make and drink it like ah shuld.
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Funny story:  Bush Speech

Bush Speech

You are the one. (Lightning)...
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Breaking News...

National Institute of Abhorrent Behavior (NIAB) to Study Cable News Anchors

Boston-Dr. Felix Noodlesorter of NAIB received a LooneyToonery grant to study the behavioral traits of those who anchor cable news shows. Prime subject for scrutiny is Wacky Chris Matthews of MSNBC,

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