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Funny story: Barry Budget's amazing lifestyle tips

Barry Budget's amazing lifestyle tips

Here's some great tips to help you get the best out of life when running on a limited budget. 1. Don't holiday abroad. Book a caravan in your local caravan park, and come home to cook meals cheaply. 2. Take a six-pack of supermarket brand beer into the pub with you, and buy only one beer in the pub. Then instead of ordering more drinks, just top up your own from the can. You'll save a fortun...
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Funny story: Area Man Can't Wait to Get This Goddamn Day Over With

Area Man Can't Wait to Get This Goddamn Day Over With

Abington, PA- Local resident, Steven Mayer, of Abington, Pennsylvania, awoke this morning with a renewed sense of anticipation and vigor. "I was able to turn off the alarm a minute before 6:00," reported the 32 year old Mayer, who works as a daytime...
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Funny story: There's Snow Love like Frozen Love

There's Snow Love like Frozen Love

People of a religious persuasion call it enlightenment, drunks call it a moment of clarity; on Sunday morning, in a packed cinema, I had what I'm going to call the potential start date of my mid-life crisis. Over the weekend I took my 3 and a bit year-old to the cinema to catch a movie. My wife wanted us out of the house for whatever reason and it was too early to take the kid to the local 'di...
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Funny story: Alcohol In Danger Of Helping You Enjoy Life

Alcohol In Danger Of Helping You Enjoy Life

An extensive study has revealed that people who drink on a weekly or fortnightly basis with friends are in serious danger of enjoying their lives. Contrary to popular belief that alcohol just leads to health problems, fights and contracting STDs f...
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Funny story: One Direction impotent due to skinny jeans

One Direction impotent due to skinny jeans

Fans of the legendary rock group One Direction will be saddened to find out today that due to their constant wearing of skinny jeans, One Direction have as a collective unit become impotent. The jet setting 5some, who shot to fame when X Factor shot...
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Funny story: I'm Just a Laidback and Festively Plump Individual

I'm Just a Laidback and Festively Plump Individual

I'm a stress-free type of guy who takes life with a carefree attitude. I guess you can say I'm just a laidback and festively plump individual and there is nothing wrong with that. I guarantee it. Think of how beneficial technologies like transportation, cellular devices, and the Internet. As long as someone or something else does the work for me, I'm ready to go. I value transportation. For ex...
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Funny story: Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Aren't Married To Women

Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Aren't Married To Women

Studies show in a deep part of missouri that indeed, women do in fact live longer than men because they aren't married to women. Donald Trump says he "isn't really surprised" by the news. A local bystander by the name of 'Dick Trickle' says "he f...
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Funny story: The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

Life begins when the alarm of my fully charged cell phone shouts, "Hit snooze, hit snooze! Just five more minutes. Sleeping five more minutes won't hurt anyone. Trust me, I'll wake you up again." Five minutes later, my cell phone, Ringo, screams, "It's time, time to open your eyes and do something productive. Get up, get dressed, get ready now!" Ringo is my best friend. He reminds me to do t...
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Funny story: Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Dear Mom, Well we have been married two months today and I have been wanting to discuss something with you but couldn't do it in person or on the telephone since the government bugs everything, including e-mails. It's a little embarrassing but I was wondering if when you and dad got married did he want to have sex all the time? I can understand most nights but not all the time. I love Bi...
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Funny story: Changing of the Guards

Changing of the Guards

Every day, people, just like buffalo herds in Africa, intently watch a despicable sight: a woman being attacked by a number of masked assailants, here; there, a weak buffalo or calf by a single lion. The masked men vigorously pull away the shoulder-strap purse of a woman, leaving home for shopping or other businesses, with impunity, in public thoroughfares. The more heinous spectacle is the ever-i...
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Funny story: Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

During our dinner date, I took what I thought was my heart medication. Within 30 minutes I realized I had committed a colossal boner. I think the saddest thing about a guy falling asleep at the wheel and dying is that in all likelihood, the last thing on earth he heard was Yanni on the radio. I'd never make it on one of those Survivor shows. Every time I think about eating somethi...
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Funny story: On The Other Hand... by Jackson Hoff

On The Other Hand... by Jackson Hoff

Hoff Here. There are many aberrations in nature that are well known as aberrations. Calves with two heads. Shell-less turtles. Dwarf anythings. Journalists. Guidance Counsellors. The list goes on. But there is one that, strangely, oddly, has slowly, imperceptibly gained acceptance in almost every society in the modern world. We've all most likely come in contact with at least one in our lives.
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Funny story: Wendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life

Wendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life

Austin, Texas: Following on her claim to be "more focused on the detail," Wendy Davis disclosed more information today about her amazing life story. Below are some of the previously unknown details, listed in no particular order of importance. She dated Elvis, O. J. Simpson, George Clooney, and JFK, Jr. at the same time. She was a stealth member of Seal Team Six on the Bin Laden kill missi...
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Funny story: The Moleturds Are Forced to Move...Again

The Moleturds Are Forced to Move...Again

"Is that brown stuff on the bathroom wall what I think it is?" That all came later. Let's just say we had to move again. It all started when I paid an innocent trick on my coworkers. You know. The old brownie joke that I thought they would think was funny but I guess it was too much. Especially for Big Lonzo all three hundred pounds..maybe 275 after the brownies. The result, I had to go tell...
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Funny story: Ford Relaunches Pinto for 2015!

Ford Relaunches Pinto for 2015!

Ford Motor executives announced today that the company will be relaunching it's most popular bomb on wheels for model year 2015! Like the popular retro Mustang that was introduced in 2006, the new Pinto will look much the same as it's 1970's coun...
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Funny story: Life Without Youth

Life Without Youth

When health or wealth is threatened, we get fearful just like a fish in a tank after hearing a sudden knock on the container. This reaction is called fear. Fear, in most living things, is said to be basic or innate. A sudden change of environment such as light, sound etc causes fear in us. Additionally, we have a tendency to be afraid of the unknown. Naturally, the econ-political changes of the pr...
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Funny story: Rosie O'Donnell To Play 'The Susan Boyle Story?

Rosie O'Donnell To Play 'The Susan Boyle Story?

Except for the weight problem, no one really expected Rosie O' Donnell to play the 52-year-old singer. "I can lip sync the songs. I can do a good job with all the material Susan has", stated O'Donnell. "Leave it to me. I'll do a good job. It's a...
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Funny story: Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

According to a survey conducted at a college in Cupertino, CA, obsessive nose rubbing may actually be bad for your social life. While there are no definite root causes for such an odd habit, college students like Matthew E. explain that "It's hila...
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Breaking News...

"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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