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How to Deal with the Fact that You are a Complete and Total Loser

WARNING: This article was written by a rage-filled and heavily intoxicated author who feels a constant need to express disgusting and needless humor for the sole purpose of fulfilling his own vile ego. It lacks any sort of idealistic cause, and it basically says nothing that should be thought about deeply or even remembered. Thematic patterns do not exist within the structure of its content, gr...

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How to Properly Comfort Someone Who is Emotionally Devastated

Life can be extremely cruel and unfair. Tragedy, loss, and disaster can strike at any given moment, and difficult circumstances usually come along without warning. Unfortunately, horrible things often happen to good people who are simply trying to make it from one day to the next. People who face these situations often feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and unable to cope with life as they struggle...

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Nashville Man Comes Up with Solid Life Plan

Funny story: Nashville Man Comes Up with Solid Life Plan

After decades of career confusion, soul-searching, and personal reflection, Nashville man Bart Biggs came up with a solid plan for his future, on which he's determined to follow through. “Most people's trouble,” explained Bart, “is that they go th...

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Nashville Woman Decides to Put Herself Out There

Funny story: Nashville Woman Decides to Put Herself Out There

Recently, Catherine Parker of Nashville, Tennessee, made the extremely personal decision to put herself out there. “I'm ready,” she said. “This decision didn't come easily, but I've been working on Me for a long time, and it's really paid off. I'm...

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Man Astonished By Amount Of Dust That Came Off His Mat

Funny story: Man Astonished By Amount Of Dust That Came Off His Mat

An Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok, has revealed the incredulousness he felt at the amount of dust present on his doormat when he shook it out yesterday. Originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, Moys Kenwood told of his 'shock and...

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Elevator Out Of Action For Four Weeks Now

Funny story: Elevator Out Of Action For Four Weeks Now

Residents at a condominium in western Bangkok have complained that an elevator that 'had a leak' four weeks ago, has not yet been repaired, meaning that some of them have had to walk upstairs to their rooms, or wait 'forever' for the other lift. D...

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Man Falls After Chasing Cow

Funny story: Man Falls After Chasing Cow

There was controversy in Cambodia this afternoon, when a man who was chasing some cows out of his garden slipped and fell on a road, grazing the skin at the back of the top of his leg just underneath his bottom. The cows pass the Battambang home o...

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Birmingham Man Finds Meaning in the Small Things of Life - Like Paper Clips

Funny story: Birmingham Man Finds Meaning in the Small Things of Life - Like Paper Clips

Birmingham man Kenneth Hayes said that after a lifetime of chasing big dreams and big plans to no avail, he now finds meaning in the small things of life – like paper clips. “They're so tiny!” marveled Ken. “And yet so powerful in all they hold to...

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Well, I'm sitting here in Gander Newfoundland waiting to take that big jump over the pond!

Funny story: Well, I'm sitting here in Gander Newfoundland waiting to take that big jump over the pond!

I'm waiting here in Gander, Newfoundland. That's way up here in Alberta, Canada. Or some such place. Who knows? Who cares? Nope. I already said it - it's in Newfoundland! You knucklehead, think, think think. After flying that old Nissan Sentra down to New Orleans every Friday night after driving all over central Mississippi the same day, it all become a blur. Try working with that on a seven-da...

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A Day in the life - Tom from Myspace

Hello, You may remember me. You know you do? Tom? Tom from Myspace? I was your friend. I was everyone's friend on Myspace? Myspace? You must remember Myspace? Before Facebook? Before Selfies? Before Trump? Before Brexit? Before the Kardashian? What is wrong with you? Are you some type of Millenial? No, I was important to Generation X'rs. You don't what a Generation Xr is? No, well ask you...

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The Door Of Opportunity Hangs On Small Hinges

Funny story: The Door Of Opportunity Hangs On Small Hinges

We live in a world where we always look for the big break, the big show, and the big crowds. Now let me say that bigness isn't wrong, bigness is great. But the amazing thing about life is that big things generally start from small things. Never despise the day of a small beginning. Your life was created from a very small cell. It's amazing to think that an atom can destroy a whole nation, that a l...

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Ilsa's One Day Back on Earth

Ilsa stood before St. Peter, wringing her hands nervously. She had been reluctant to make the request, and now that she had, she worried that a denial would also come with a black mark against her name on the roll book. Surely her request would be viewed as something other than selfish. She only wanted to return for a day to bring some joy to her husband, not for anything that would primarily b...

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Research Study Spurs Study Surfing, New Campus Craze

Funny story: Research Study Spurs Study Surfing, New Campus Craze

A study just published, Study Finds Cat People Are More Intelligent Than Dog People, has sparked a resurgence in the public's curiosity about controversial conclusions in the social sciences. Now called Study Surfing, the resurgence is especially pop...

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Tit for Tat's

How am I supposed to get on with my life? I don't know what to do here…I have this tattoo, ok. I want to finish it but I can't…so help me out. I tried to research my family crests or coat of arms or some shit but not a single site can agree on what they should look like… might have looked like…bottom line, I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!! Someone suggested I use a series of ones a...

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Elderly spoof writer ponders stages of life!

You told me about conception. You told me about birth. You told me about infancy. You told me about early childhood. You told me about puberty. You told me about young adulthood. You told me about middle age. You told me about the "golden years." You told me about old age. OK. I am now 86 years old. That is VERY old!  I am now shitting my brains out! More is coming out t...

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Rantasia

Who the hell do you think you are anyway? Are you the only one in the world that has places to go people to see, no time for this, no time for that? YOU couldn't be more WRONG, but there's more, so much more… Tell me mister man, WHY when we had ALL been safely wedged into our airline seats, YOU decided that YOU no longer want to sit next to the burbing, flatulating man eating an onion sandwich?...

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Teenager Decides He Will Stop Procrastinating...Later

Marcus Travins, a 10th grade student at Wilmot High School in North Carolina, reportedly promised that he would stop procrastinating later this year. He explains "I have a problem with pushing important assignments aside and eventually doing them...

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Morrisville Woman run out of hangers, not dismayed

Funny story: Morrisville Woman run out of hangers, not dismayed

Alice Sweeney of Morrisville Pennsylvania has a clothing storage dilemma. "I've run out of hangers" she told as we sat in a booth at the Plymouth diner. "and I'm not about to buy anymore, never bought a hanger in my life, they've just always been t...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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