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Funny story: Whatever anyway

Whatever anyway

Anyway, whatever. Whatever you say. Anyway, who cares. ANY WAY? You must be joking. There are some ways that are just not me. We know you are always right anyway. So... Whatever you say Dad. Anyway what's the use? Right? Anyway - it'll all be the same in a thousand years - So whatever? You must be joking! What a drag. I can't believe it. But...whatever. Anyway I don't really care. W...
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Funny story: Ratatouille two-step

Ratatouille two-step

A man who had previously complained that a rat had 'run up his leg' while he was eating in his local Wetherspoon's pub has been exposed as a fraud. Dick Soars, 57, was on a blind Internet date with, Mona Lotz, a nubile Lithuanian wench and had arr...
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Funny story: Life for Sale

Life for Sale

Wall Street New York Our Financial Times Reporter. Life has been floated on the US Stocks share market. It opened at a dollar a share. Dividends are rewarded per percentage yield converted into minutes and hours of extra life. It has no basis in reality, of course, but like money itself depends entirely on consensus belief for its existence. Speculators believe that if they can accumulate enough...
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Funny story: Après la vie

Après la vie

In physics, energy can be transferred or converted to kinetic, radiant, elastic, thermal or chemical energy, but it cannot be created or destroyed. Benjamin Franklin, born 1706, before his discovery, believed that 'clouds formed over the ocean had more electricity than clouds formed over the land; therefore, when these two clouds came close enough to one anther, the different charges had to eq...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 25: Balooning

The Case Against Recreation - Part 25: Balooning

Balooning- Hot air ballooning popular in some locales that have a climate and topography suitable to such an absurd activity. To understand its appeal we need to examine the symbolism involved. First there's the basket that holds the passengers. This could mean they are all basket cases, or that they are going to hell in a handbasket, or both. Then next is the balloon that carries...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 24: Kite Flying

The Case Against Recreation - Part 24: Kite Flying

Kite Flying- When someone gets disgusted with you and wants you to go away, they often say, "Go fly a kite." It's a polite way of saying, "Go to hell." This infers that kite flying is a decidedly negative thing to do. If this is true then why do people do it? There are at least two possible reasons why someone would fly a kite. The first is that they are simply intellectually inept to unde...
View 'The Case Against Recreation - Part 24: Kite Flying'
Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 23: Camping

The Case Against Recreation - Part 23: Camping

Camping- Camping trips are yet another example of the fixation humans has with animal behavior. Despite advanced creature comforts and housing with all the conveniences of modern living, people are still drawn to the harsh elements of the great outdoors. It's a mindless ingrained habit that defies all logic except if it's like a salmon swimming against the current to reach the spawning ground upst...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics

The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics

Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. Then they go to an outdoor location, perhaps a designated public picnic area where they spread the tablecloth on the ground, if no picnic tables are available. It's a popular pastime conside...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 21: Barbeques

The Case Against Recreation - Part 21: Barbeques

Barbeques- usually takes place in someone's backyard with family or friends gathered around a pit or grill with flaming charcoal that cooks meat. Attendees enjoy the festive atmosphere because it's an ingrained remnant of their prehistoric past when early humans killed and ate animals in the wild. Some those feasts were also rituals featuring human sacrifices atop an alter somewhat resembling a mo...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 20: Bicycling

The Case Against Recreation - Part 20: Bicycling

Bicycling- The growing popularity of this activity illustrates the utterly obvious infiltration of obsessive pseudo-sexual perversion running rampant throughout society like a bicyclist running through a red light at a busy intersection. The term "bicycle" is a combination of two root words meaning bi (as in bipolar or bisexual), and cycle (as in vicious cycle or recycled waste). The underlying de...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 19: Board Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 19: Board Games

Board Games Board games are custom coordinated games specially designed for boring people, and as such they are ill fit for anyone who wants an interesting game to play. The slow pace of these games is an ideal match to the rate of their inert intellect. Monopoly- People who love the mind-numbing monotony choose to play the game of Monopoly, day after day, week after week; for adults i...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 18: Billiards & Pool

The Case Against Recreation - Part 18: Billiards & Pool

Pool & Billiards- Pool players prefer to call the game Billiards so it is not confused with a swimming type of pool. And because the pool stick sounds too much like pulls dick, which is what the game is really all about. But players are understandably embarrassed by it and they don't want anyone to know. Try as they might, it's impossible to hide because the symbolism is just too obvio...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

Dice & Darts- Dice games are another asinine activity usually played in sleazy bars and urban alleys by brain-dead boozehounds that are too drunk to play a smarter game. They roll the dice and instantly lose their life savings, and there is little chance they will ever recoup that seventeen dollars. A distinct breed of cretin is instinctively drawn to the game of Darts. It's a...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 16: Card Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 16: Card Games

Cards- There are many types of card games, most of which are designed to pit the players against each other in order to cultivate a hostile antagonistic society, with all the problems that entails. Card games were contrived by the ruling class to control the proletariat, simple-minded, illiterate peasants who were easily manipulated by such tricks that appealed to their base instincts. Eve...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 15: Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 15: Games

Games Games were originally intended to be a form of play activity for infants, and mentally handicapped people who have yet to develop the intellectual faculties needed to function in a sensible manner. The games were designed for a specific aptitude level and geared to subjects with limited mental capacity and motor skills. Any other application of game activity was strictly proh...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 14: "Escort" Services

The Case Against Recreation - Part 14: "Escort" Services

"Escort" Services- A whore by any other name is just a whore. Call girls, prostitutes, hookers, etc., their all the same, although rates may vary according to how respectful, or slutty, the particular title is that they use. But no matter what their title is, they screw 25 guys a day so wear a condom. It's always funny to see a guy fall in love with a whore, thinking he's her only boyfr...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 13: Adult Entertainment

The Case Against Recreation - Part 13: Adult Entertainment

Adult Entertainment Strip Shows-Some cities have strip joints where depraved men go to see naked women live on stage. These venues are more like torture chambers because it's all a tease, customers are not allowed to touch. They do however offer an occasional lap-dance--for the right price. Adult Cinema- Before Videotapes and DVDs came out, the entire pervert population had to go to theaters...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 11: Amusement Parks

The Case Against Recreation - Part 11: Amusement Parks

Amusement Parks- There's nothing amusing about amusement parks, they are more like abusing parks. People go there to get thrills but sometimes they get killed instead. It's the ultimate entertainment experience, if your idea of entertainment is doing hours of activities that make you feel the maximum level of fear before going into shock, pushing the limits of hysteria that would traumatiz...
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