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Funny story: Toast Of New York a 25/1 chance for Kentucky Derby

Toast Of New York a 25/1 chance for Kentucky Derby

Churchill Downs, Louisville - The undisputed toast of the Dubai racetrack is on course for a tilt at the 2014 Kentucky Derby following a thrilling two and a quarter length victory from a field of 12 at the UAE Derby at Meydan last week. Sired by t...
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Funny story: The Kentucky Derby Could Be Moving To Detroit

The Kentucky Derby Could Be Moving To Detroit

DETROIT - President Obama has just informed the mayor of Detroit that there is a very strong possibility that the famed Kentucky Derby could be moving from Louisville, Kentucky to Detroit, Michigan in 2015. The president told the mayor that the re...
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Funny story: Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

ELMONT, New York - Palace Malice defeated the Kentucky Derby winner Orb and the Preakness winner Ox Bow to capture the third jewel of horse racing's coveted Triple Crown, The Belmont Stakes. Jockey Mike Smith said that he knew since the night befo...
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Funny story: Charles Barkley Wins $2.3 Million on The Heat-Pacers Championship Game

Charles Barkley Wins $2.3 Million on The Heat-Pacers Championship Game

MIAMI - Charles Barkley AKA The Fat Bro was grinning from ear-to-ear as he bet on the Miami Heat to defeat the Indiana Pacers in the decisive game 7 of the best of 7 Eastern Conference Championship. The Heat had no trouble disposing of the Pacers...
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Funny story: Kentucky Derby Winner Orb May Not Run In The Preakness

Kentucky Derby Winner Orb May Not Run In The Preakness

BALTIMORE - Word coming out of the home of The Preakness is that Kentucky Derby winner, Orb may not be entered to race in the second jewel of the Triple Crown race. Orb's owner Stuart "Horsey" Janney said that he was told by Orb's nutritionist ide...
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Funny story: Charles Barkley Wins $1,280,000 On Kentucky Derby Winner Orb

Charles Barkley Wins $1,280,000 On Kentucky Derby Winner Orb

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The 139th running of The Kentucky Derby was run on a field that was muddier than the town scenes in the western AMC TV series Hell On Wheels. Orb who was favored at 6 to 1 odds started the race in 19th place out of 19 horses...
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Funny story: Tom Brady Won't Horse Around at Kentucky Derby

Tom Brady Won't Horse Around at Kentucky Derby

Each year now Tom Brady puts together an elite group of former Patriots who go to the Kentucky Derby with him. Usually Tom has an opportunity to sport his latest hairdo and don his most fancy tie and coat, all in an effort to avoid looking like a...
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Funny story: Churchill Downs crop circle predicts Kentucky Derby 1-2-3

Churchill Downs crop circle predicts Kentucky Derby 1-2-3

Louisville, KY - One of the year's first extraterrestrial field etchings has appeared overnight at the world famous racetrack's saddling enclosure ahead of Saturday's 139th renewal of the Kentucky Derby. Groundsmen said this morning they'd noticed...
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Funny story: Kentucky Bans Britney Spears Upskirt Photos

Kentucky Bans Britney Spears Upskirt Photos

FRANKFORT, Kentucky - The Kentucky State Senate has just voted on a bill that has been hailed as one of the greatest bills to ever be approved in the history of the state. State Senator Audrey Fayella Prissprinti, 49, [R-Paducah], stated that it i...
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Funny story: Death stalks the Kentucky Derby

Death stalks the Kentucky Derby

Kentucky - The discovery of an unidentified body in a barn close to the Churchill Downs track yesterday is sparking fears of a racing death hex. Police sources said the remains of a male were discovered in Lousiville trainer Angel Montano Senior'...
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Funny story: 'Curse of the Tiger Woods SUV' as Kentucky Derby runner-up jockey Michael Baze found dead

'Curse of the Tiger Woods SUV' as Kentucky Derby runner-up jockey Michael Baze found dead

Louisville, Kentucky - Conspiracy nuts said today the jockey's 2010 model was a dead ringer for Tiger Woods' own SUV that triggered the Elin Nordegren Night Clubbing rumpus. The 24 year-old rider was found on Tuesday, slumped behind the wheel of h...
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Funny story: American racehorses have such cool names

American racehorses have such cool names

Churchill Downs - Awesome Northern Dancer bloodlines are part of the trophy for an anonymous UK buyer who's has snapped up Saturday's Kentucky Derby winner Animal Kingdom for a cool $50 million. "It's a present for my wife," Mr X of First Big Oil...
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Funny story: First Gay Horse To Run In Kentucky Derby Pulls Out

First Gay Horse To Run In Kentucky Derby Pulls Out

Bluegrass, Kentucky - Uncle Mo, the first openly gay horse to ever run in the Kentucky Derby, has been scratched due to illness and will not be running on Derby Day. Uncle Mo's owners and jockey expressed sadness and dismay that Mo, a pack favorit...
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Funny story: Specter Loses Pennsylvania Senate Seat After Leaving It Unattended While In Toilet; 'Urine-Ur-Out', chanted Rendell support crowd in spontaneous demonstration outside Senate 'loo'

Specter Loses Pennsylvania Senate Seat After Leaving It Unattended While In Toilet; 'Urine-Ur-Out', chanted Rendell support crowd in spontaneous demonstration outside Senate 'loo'

Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, who unwisely bolted the Senate floor for a quick trip to the loo today, may now forever lose his plush Senate seat to Rep. Joe Sestak, who apparently has better bladder control. Mr. Specter, 80, lost his 'di...
View 'Specter Loses Pennsylvania Senate Seat After Leaving It Unattended While In Toilet; 'Urine-Ur-Out', chanted Rendell support crowd in spontaneous demonstration outside Senate 'loo''
Funny story: Shoot The Bird Wins The Kentucky Derby

Shoot The Bird Wins The Kentucky Derby

LOUISVILLE - The 135th running of The Kentucky Derby was won by a relatively unknown gelding horse from Gallup, New Mexico, named Shoot The Bird. The odds on Shoot The Bird winning the Kentucky Derby were 500 to 1. Winning jockey Calbert Bordel...
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Funny story: West Side Bernie Madoff all the rage for Kentucky Derby

West Side Bernie Madoff all the rage for Kentucky Derby

Churchill Downs - (CIA Trojan Whorse Ass Mess): Stalking whorse extraordinaire West Side Bernie Madoff can win today's 135th Run for the Guns 'N' Roses to redeem all those missing $$$ billions lost in the eponymous Ponzi scamster's Mossad pension fun...
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Funny story: Rampant hubris as Dubai's Shaikh McTomb-Raider eyes Kentucky Derby victory

Rampant hubris as Dubai's Shaikh McTomb-Raider eyes Kentucky Derby victory

Churchill Downs - (Thoroughbred Ass Mess): Dubai's top paranoid egomaniac Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider is on a roll having convinced himself that the splayed entrails on the Gogolphin Stables' gelding room floor spell a massive victory for one of hi...
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Funny story: Eight Bells Trainer Denies Steroid Use

Eight Bells Trainer Denies Steroid Use

Larry Jones, trainer for Kentucky Derby runner up Eight Bells who tragically snapped both front ankles after her remarkable Churchill Downs dash, categorically denied steroid use by the fallen filly.
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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