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Funny satire stories about jelly

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Local Hero Makes Bread Heel Sandwich

Around lunchtime yesterday, area man Francis Parker stunned his housemates when he made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This wasn't a normal sandwich, however; instead of foregoing the bread heel and selecting two non-heel slices - as any san...

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Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Funny story: Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Following the successful business models set forth by Jelly Belly candies and the Ben & Jerry Ice Cream company, Smuckster's also hopes to cash in with its own blends of strange jam and jelly flavors. Ice cream flavors with names like Moose Tr...

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The Mysterious Jelly Is Back

Funny story: The Mysterious Jelly Is Back

Cumbrians have been left with a mammoth clean up operation as The Mysterious Jelly returns, this time to the hills around Cumbria. "Two years ago," said lead scientist, Theo Rea, "we investigated the blobs that struck Scotland. At the time we had...

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Jelly is a superfood

Funny story: Jelly is a superfood

The latest research from Roundtree University in Leicester has shown what every pre-pubescent child has always known: Jelly is a super food! "It's quite remarkable," said chief nutritionist, Henry Murray, of the Gelatine Independent Research Labor...

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Belgium introduces jelly rationing

Funny story: Belgium introduces jelly rationing

As financial crises hit countries around the world, Europe has been particularly hard hit. But little is heard of poor Belgium, its small economy nestling hairily between the driving buttocks of Europe - France and Germany. While Portugal, Greece...

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Makers of Marmalade, Jam, and Preserves Sue Jelly Manufacturers For Equal Time

Funny story: Makers of Marmalade, Jam, and Preserves Sue Jelly Manufacturers For Equal Time

Manufacturers of marmalade, jelly, and preserves feel that they have a large enough grievance against jelly bottlers to sue them for equal time. Dabney Rind or Smith's Marmalade Corporation, speaking for all of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, issued...

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Britney Spears Removes Top

Funny story: Britney Spears Removes Top

LOS ANGELES, CA - Linda Lovelace has been an assistant to Britney Spears for nearly three years, but says she never thought the day would come that she might get to experience something like this. "I know to some people it might not be that big a de...

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Green goo identified from British Isles

Funny story: Green goo identified from British Isles

The mysterious jelly-like green substance found in spots around the British Isles this past month has finally been identified. First publicised by IainB at TheSpoof.com, authorities were unable to determine what it was. Tagging the goo, "Thatcher...

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Mysterious Jelly Update

Funny story: Mysterious Jelly Update

The 'Mysterious Jelly' saga took a new turn today when a second reporter followed up the recent excellent coverage. The green jelly-like substance which has been spotted all over the UK has appeared around the same time as the current period of sn...

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The Mysterious Jelly

Funny story: The Mysterious Jelly

Around the British Isles as the snow melts, a strange jelly like substance is coming to light in several areas of the country. And this is not the first time it's been spotted. The jelly substance contains no identifiable DNA, and resists all atte...

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Jelly Services Architect Shown the Door

Funny story: Jelly Services Architect Shown the Door

After three short years of helping to architect big ugly software solutions to what were perceived to be simple little business problems, Skippy Winklestein, technical staff geek and architect at Jelly Services, will abide by his final 'separation ag...

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Pregnant Woman gives birth to Jelly baby - Husband eats its legs

Funny story: Pregnant Woman gives birth to Jelly baby - Husband eats its legs

Hungarian mother, Marizka Twatalov , gave birth to a very healthy 25lb jelly baby in Puskas General hospital last Saturday evening after a gruelling wait of 6 days in a cramped ward. Her husband, Boris Twatal...

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Stupidly obvious news reports on the increase.

Funny story: Stupidly obvious news reports on the increase.

London, AssPress-: It has been noticed by various media watchers that the intelligence level of the average news story has declined of late in an effort to keep up (or down) with the ever decreasing attention span of...

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Perl Jam popularity spreads

On toast, bagels; available as Jelly, too...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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