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Jaycee Lee Dugard Abductor Phillip Garrido - Vatican Breaks Silence

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard Abductor Phillip Garrido - Vatican Breaks Silence

Deadline, Vatican City, Rome, Italy. Following claims from nutjob Phillip Garrido, the kidnapper of Jaycee Lee Dugard, that he kept God in a box, and held regular conversations with the Divine One, the Vatican, which until now has been reluctant t...

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Jaycee Lee Dugard - Abductor Calls In Hope Of Selling Story Exclusive

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard - Abductor Calls In Hope Of Selling Story Exclusive

Reporters over here in my London office were dumbfounded when the office received a call from none other than Phillip Garrido, the weirdo freak pervert who kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard 18 years ago when she was just 11 years old. Before his arrest,...

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Dr. Phil Writes Prescription for Philip Garrido Voodoo Dolls (UPDATE 1)

Funny story: Dr. Phil Writes Prescription for Philip Garrido Voodoo Dolls (UPDATE 1)

"Normally I don't recommend the occult, or revenge for that matter, to my patients. Much less write out a prescription to them for it," said Dr. Phil. "But in this case, I'm willing to make an exception." Dr. Phil then directed his studio audienc...

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Dr. Phil Psychoanalyses Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor

Funny story: Dr. Phil Psychoanalyses Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor

"You got to be the sickest bastard I've ever psychoanalyzed," said a visibly shaken Dr. Phil after psychoanalyzing Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's abductor via close circuit TV during a commercial break. "In fact, you're so sick that now I'll pro...

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Jaycee Lee Dugard Held at Area 51

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard Held at Area 51

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA In a press conference at the FBI's Los Angeles office, Tina Dugard, the maternal aunt of Jaycee Lee Dugard, the California woman who mysteriously disappeared eighteen years ago, revealed that Jaycee has been sequestered along wi...

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Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Antioch, California - Despite what is being reported in the mainstream media, Jaycee Lee Dugard did attempt to escape, only her abductor's gardening skills frustrated and foiled her endeavors. "Each morning that sick bastard -- I mean the gentlema...

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Manson psychic to channel in Garrido 'harem' mausoleum hunt

Funny story: Manson psychic to channel in Garrido 'harem' mausoleum hunt

Antioch - (Helter Skelter Mess): Convicted mass murderer Charles Manson's tarot reader has offered to channel Sharon Tate's ghost in the hunt for Phillip Garrido's necro harem trophy room. The development comes as LA cops widen the net in their tr...

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Nancy Garrido the new Myra Hindley?

Funny story: Nancy Garrido the new Myra Hindley?

California - (Reuterus): Veteran Moors murders sniffer dogs are unlikely to join their LAPD cadaver-trail hound counterparts 'for obvious reasons'. But the Antioch neighborhood of Jaycee Lee Dugard captors Phillip and Nancy 'Reagan' Garrido is bei...

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Jaycee Lee Dugard To Be A Contestant On Dancing With The Stars

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard To Be A Contestant On Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars host Tom Bergeron has just informed the Hollywood media that Jaycee Lee Dugard has agreed to be a contestant on this season's edition of Dancing With The Stars. Bergeron said that he personally spoke on the phone...

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Lindsay Lohan To Portray Jaycee Lee Dugard In Hollywood Blockbuster

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan To Portray Jaycee Lee Dugard In Hollywood Blockbuster

Frantic meetings have been taking place here in Hollywood in the wake of the Jaycee Lee Dugard case. Studio heads have decided to fully exploit the bizarre kidnap case with the aim of a quick turnaround on movie production and release while the story...

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Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor "Even Weirder Than First Thought."

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor "Even Weirder Than First Thought."

California police today disturbingly announced that Phillip Garrido, the abductor of Jaycee Lee Dugard, was in fact, way weirder than even they had initially suspected. Police Chief, Erwin Rummel, of Neverland County, California, announced that th...

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Girl Kidnapped in 1991 Kept Busy Playing Nintendo's "The Legend of Zelda" for Past 18 Years

Funny story: Girl Kidnapped in 1991 Kept Busy Playing Nintendo's "The Legend of Zelda" for Past 18 Years

Antioch, California - The then 11-year-old-girl was kept entertained and apparently distracted for the entire 18 years of her captivity with a Nintendo Game Boy. Locked up in a shed in the backyard of her abductor's residence, Jaycee Lee Dugard, now...

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Austrian dungeonmaster Fritzl behind Jaycee Lee Dugard abduction?

Funny story: Austrian dungeonmaster Fritzl behind Jaycee Lee Dugard abduction?

El Dorado - (Reuterus): Was jailed Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl the inspiration behind Phillip Garrido's 1991 abduction and impregnation of 11 year-old US schoolgirl Jaycee Lee Dugard? California police are probing the claim after a tipoff...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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