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Funny story: Druid Jihad: Radical Islamism Takes Polytheistic Turn

Druid Jihad: Radical Islamism Takes Polytheistic Turn

Hamish Leonardo Kraftwerker Magee, Chief Druid of Dumfries, (previously known as Third Baron Trevelyan Montague of High Wycombe), has narrowly escaped being sent to Guantanamo bay on the grounds of being a jihadist militant. In in his inimitable...
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Funny story: Kansas Fried Chicken Staff Deny Launching Doner Kebab Killing Drones

Kansas Fried Chicken Staff Deny Launching Doner Kebab Killing Drones

What was claimed to be a U.S. made search and destroy drone was shot down by a SAM this morning. No casualties were reported. The drone "hit" was claimed by by Mustapha Badpun of the Doner Kebab staff. A spokesman for the Turkish kebab house told...
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Funny story: ISIS to Sue Boris Johnson over "Wankers" Jibe

ISIS to Sue Boris Johnson over "Wankers" Jibe

Boris Johnson has peered into the secret findings of MI5's best brains and concluded that ISIS members are porn-watching, sexually frustrated, psychologically maladjusted males. In a recent interview in the Sun according to the London mayor, they are...
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Funny story: 80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

Teheran - Iranian sexologist Sheik Ratel-n-Rol, the "Renegade Imam" is on the run again tonight after publishing Goggle's 2014 statistical analysis of internet porn use on his popular "Under the Hijab" sex-discussion blog. According to the report...
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Funny story: 2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"

2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"

Aging year 2014 resigned today, 48 hours earlier than expected, citing ethical fatigue and "total disgust with humanity." Badly cut and beaten by the events of the past 12 months, the old codger said he no longer cared that Earth would be in mora...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawkings: ASS May Be Even More Dangerous Than AI

Stephen Hawkings: ASS May Be Even More Dangerous Than AI

Stephen Hawkings today released a warning that some day Artificial Intelligence could cause the beginning of the end of man kind. But! Artificial Super Stupidity is a very real threat that is right here, right now! "Humans...are stupid," began Ha...
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Funny story: ISIS leader commits self-immolation to initiate new beheading program throughout jihadis across the middle east

ISIS leader commits self-immolation to initiate new beheading program throughout jihadis across the middle east

In a surprising new development, Mr. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of the Islamic State (aka IS/ISIS) has come forth with a program titled "put a sack in your sacrifice" aimed at jihadis waging holy war across the region. This has involved a maneuver in th...
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Funny story: Whoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals

Whoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals

In its longest war in history, the U.S. has been in Afghanistan for 13 years. Now, no end is in sight. Reversing himself and Giving in to Pentagon Brass' demands that he violate his promise that the U.S. would have no combat role there next year,...
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Funny story: What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...
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Funny story: ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

In a stunning development that bodes well for world peace as we approach this Christmas time, world famous football team Manchester United has revealed a recruiting drive aimed at Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS. A representative of Manchester...
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Funny story: ISIS expands oil business to include gas stations with cafes plus religious services at the barbecue out back

ISIS expands oil business to include gas stations with cafes plus religious services at the barbecue out back

Current reports indicate ISIS is not only looking for managers for its oil refineries, with a $225,000 annual salary, but also establishing a chain of gas stations across the middle east. The name CALron is being considered, inspired by Chevron,...
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Funny story: At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

So! Back then I went out the comfort room window of that club in Mosul, moving on, as we like to say, and I thank all of you who tweeted me at that time on what to do! Of course I ended up where the action is across from Kobani, then was snatched by the Turks into Erdogan's tent. Yes, in case you're still wondering, this is Pepe Warezabar aka "Clarence Willnotlie." I know, I know. I have...
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Funny story: Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...
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Funny story: ISIS Navy Launches Submarine: A Green Volkswagon

ISIS Navy Launches Submarine: A Green Volkswagon

Vowing to take their fight to all corners of the earth, ISIS today launched their first submarine. The modified 1969 green Volkswagon, nick named the "Luv Bug I" was driven off a beach south of Banyas. Speaking by radio through an interpreter the...
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Funny story: Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Today the White House released a letter that arrived a few days ago, and after clearing a mysterious white powder from the envelope, the enclosed apparent letter from Bashar Assad was found: Dear Mostly Finks and Bastards, I want to send my heart felt (or maybe it was just gas) warmest thanks for helping us with I-SIS. Here to fore I thought you bastards didn't like me for some reason. Oh I...
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Funny story: New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

An even more violent and ruthless terrorist group "Shazaam" released a video today calling ISIS members "Punks" and "Pussy Boys". The twenty minute video showed the groups leader, tearing off the head of a captured ISIS fighter and then eating s...
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Funny story: ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

Battle lines in northern Iraq and Syria have fallen strangely silent in the past few days following the latest air strikes by coalition aircraft. In a press conference this morning in Washington, the Joint-Rolling Chiefs of Stash explained the rea...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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