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Funny story: ISIS leader commits self-immolation to initiate new beheading program throughout jihadis across the middle east

ISIS leader commits self-immolation to initiate new beheading program throughout jihadis across the middle east

In a surprising new development, Mr. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of the Islamic State (aka IS/ISIS) has come forth with a program titled "put a sack in your sacrifice" aimed at jihadis waging holy war across the region. This has involved a maneuver in th...
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Funny story: Whoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals

Whoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals

In its longest war in history, the U.S. has been in Afghanistan for 13 years. Now, no end is in sight. Reversing himself and Giving in to Pentagon Brass' demands that he violate his promise that the U.S. would have no combat role there next year,...
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Funny story: What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...
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Funny story: ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

In a stunning development that bodes well for world peace as we approach this Christmas time, world famous football team Manchester United has revealed a recruiting drive aimed at Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS. A representative of Manchester...
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Funny story: ISIS Members Use Cardboard Cut-Out to Replace Leader

ISIS Members Use Cardboard Cut-Out to Replace Leader

Desperate to replace their lost leader, Al Bhagtitties, ISIS members quickly put together a tape recording and cardboard cut-out of his image drawn with a black sharpie. "It looks just like him Allah be phrased, down to the black beard with squig...
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Funny story: ISIS expands oil business to include gas stations with cafes plus religious services at the barbecue out back

ISIS expands oil business to include gas stations with cafes plus religious services at the barbecue out back

Current reports indicate ISIS is not only looking for managers for its oil refineries, with a $225,000 annual salary, but also establishing a chain of gas stations across the middle east. The name CALron is being considered, inspired by Chevron,...
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Funny story: At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

At the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by

So! Back then I went out the comfort room window of that club in Mosul, moving on, as we like to say, and I thank all of you who tweeted me at that time on what to do! Of course I ended up where the action is across from Kobani, then was snatched by the Turks into Erdogan's tent. Yes, in case you're still wondering, this is Pepe Warezabar aka "Clarence Willnotlie." I know, I know. I have...
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Funny story: Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...
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Funny story: ISIS Navy Launches Submarine: A Green Volkswagon

ISIS Navy Launches Submarine: A Green Volkswagon

Vowing to take their fight to all corners of the earth, ISIS today launched their first submarine. The modified 1969 green Volkswagon, nick named the "Luv Bug I" was driven off a beach south of Banyas. Speaking by radio through an interpreter the...
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Funny story: Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Bashar Assad Writes Thank You Letter to United States, Britain and Turkey

Today the White House released a letter that arrived a few days ago, and after clearing a mysterious white powder from the envelope, the enclosed apparent letter from Bashar Assad was found: Dear Mostly Finks and Bastards, I want to send my heart felt (or maybe it was just gas) warmest thanks for helping us with I-SIS. Here to fore I thought you bastards didn't like me for some reason. Oh I...
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Funny story: New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

An even more violent and ruthless terrorist group "Shazaam" released a video today calling ISIS members "Punks" and "Pussy Boys". The twenty minute video showed the groups leader, tearing off the head of a captured ISIS fighter and then eating s...
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Funny story: ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

Battle lines in northern Iraq and Syria have fallen strangely silent in the past few days following the latest air strikes by coalition aircraft. In a press conference this morning in Washington, the Joint-Rolling Chiefs of Stash explained the rea...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Deadly Virus Now In White House & Congress

Deadly Virus Now In White House & Congress

During the Vietnam War era hundreds of thousands of American lives were destroyed and crippled and the treasury drained. It was a huge folly, a war the U.S. lost. After the war, Americans who were less than willing to once again fight useless wars w...
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Funny story: ISIS Claims Beheading Less Painful Than Waterboarding

ISIS Claims Beheading Less Painful Than Waterboarding

BILLINGSGATE POST: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the titular head of the Islamic terrorist group called ISIS, downplayed the horrific nature of beheading by comparing it to "waterboarding." Al-Baghdadi, who by the way, is not related to Baghdadi Bob or B...
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Funny story: GOP: "Obama is skating on thin ISSIS!"

GOP: "Obama is skating on thin ISSIS!"

An angry President Barack Obama strode to the podium in the Rose Garden this morning and immediately lashed out at the GOP. "This latest attack by the Republicans in Congress has finally gone beyond the pail. ISSIS is not thin by any means and the...
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Funny story: U.S. Should Bomb Isis Coming Into Tx. From Mexico

U.S. Should Bomb Isis Coming Into Tx. From Mexico

Polls just out indicate that a large majority of Americans 1) support air strikes on Isis; 2) A majority thinks that President Obama has not been "tough enough" on Isis, during a time that he is widely expanding the war; -- 3) A large majority opp...
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Funny story: Obama Found To Have Terrible Disease

Obama Found To Have Terrible Disease

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama will consider sending US military advisers into combat in Iraq on a "case-by-case basis," said General Martin Dempsey, American military's top-ranking officer told senators on Tuesday. Dempsey indicated he had d...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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