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Funny story: A pound of flesh: celebs who've insured parts of themselves

A pound of flesh: celebs who've insured parts of themselves

Lloyd's of London has insured Holly Madison's boobs for $1 million; there's no word as to whether she'd be paid $500,000 if something happened to just one of them. Her breasts' starring role in Peepshow prompted her to take out the policy. "People sure weren't watching me because I'm a great actress," she admits, "and I realized that, without my best assets--make that my only assets--I could becom...
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Funny story: Walmart Admits Food Drive Was Simply Misplaced Compassion

Walmart Admits Food Drive Was Simply Misplaced Compassion

Walmart issued a rare apology today for the tasteless advertisement that claimed its workers were so needy that they could use donations from its customers in the United States. The Bentonville, Arkansas based company which advertises better li...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie Talks About Her Upcoming Surgery

Angelina Jolie Talks About Her Upcoming Surgery

TOLEDO, Ohio - Angelina Jolie and her half dozen children were in Toledo visiting The Tricycle Museum. Jolie said that her kids had been wanting to visit the famous museum since they heard David Letterman talking about it with country music artist...
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Funny story: Many Workers May See Obamacare Quadruple Insurance Payments!

Many Workers May See Obamacare Quadruple Insurance Payments!

"I just found out that it's true", stated Harry Valletti of New Jersey. 'I thought it was another GOP political ploy but People in my slot, $50-$150 per year as a foreman who works 6-7 days a week, I could be out over half my wages with all the new r...
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Funny story: Lightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time

Lightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time

MISSOULA, Montana - A ranch fence mender from Missoula, Montana has to be the luckiest man in the entire world. Guggenheim "Sparky" St. Parrot, has the distinction of having been struck by lightning a total of eight times. St. Parrot works mend...
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Funny story: Sofia Vergara Insures Her Breasts For $2 Million Each

Sofia Vergara Insures Her Breasts For $2 Million Each

HOLLYWOOD - Several entertainment publications have noted that the most popular pair of Tinsel Town breasts belong to the star of Modern Family, Sofia Vergara. The Colombian bombshell just turned 41, in July and she has already been named the Most...
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Funny story: "Kiss It Better" Insurance Policy Unveiled

"Kiss It Better" Insurance Policy Unveiled

Following the huge success of the personal injury lawyers advert where former average tennis player and T.V host Andrew Castle patronisingly claims that "sometimes sorry makes everything okay," one of the UK's leading personal injury lawyers has devi...
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Funny story: 'Apology' insurance claims rock market

'Apology' insurance claims rock market

Underwriters in Lloyds of London are having their shirts extracted after a slew of succesful claims against 'apology' insurance policies. For years public figures have taken out insurance against the ignominy of having to apologise in public, with...
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Funny story: Diving from Hotel Balconies

Diving from Hotel Balconies

The British Travel Insurance Industry has announced that it will no longer provide cover for British tourists staying in hotels with more than one floor. This is due to the number of people trying but failing to succeed in the new sport of diving...
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Funny story: Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Dennis Lakass was disappointed to receive only £5.99 in compensation after his recent accident. This claim for compensation started when he got a text saying "you may be entitled to £1500 for the accident you had." Mr. Lakass sent details of...
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Funny story: Aviva Boss Andrew Moss Steps Down - Shouldn't Have Changed Name, Says Expert

Aviva Boss Andrew Moss Steps Down - Shouldn't Have Changed Name, Says Expert

Insurance firm Aviva has announced that chief executive Andrew Moss will be leaving with immediate effect. Observers say the shock announcement follows the embarrassment of losing a shareholder vote on executive pay at the annual meeting last week...
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Funny story: Obama Realizes Crucial Line Left Out of Affordable Care Act

Obama Realizes Crucial Line Left Out of Affordable Care Act

Yesterday, a shamefaced President Obama confided to his Cabinet members that he accidentally left a crucial line out of the recently enacted Affordable Care Act. Specifically, Obama mistakenly omitted a clause known as the "Ph.D. Provision," whic...
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Funny story: Pigs on trial over major insurance fraud

Pigs on trial over major insurance fraud

The trial opened today of the three little pig brothers, who are accused of being involved in a major house insurance fraud. It has been stated that the pig brothers, First, Second and Third, were about to defraud a major insurer for thousands of pou...
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Funny story: Life Insurance Scam Uncovered

Life Insurance Scam Uncovered

In a shock discovery made by an undercover reporter from the 'Daily Muckspreader', it has been revealed that one of the UK's leading life insurance providers have been fleecing their customers. The Athieva Life Insurance company stands accused of...
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Funny story: Go Kompare poaches the meerkats

Go Kompare poaches the meerkats

After losing significant market share, Go Kompare have hit back at their major rivals, Kompare the Market, by poaching the prized meerkats away from them. "It cost quite a significant sum," said Go Kompare CEO, Gok Ompare. "However, we believe tha...
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Funny story: Churchill says "Oh! No!" to insurance for Holly Madison

Churchill says "Oh! No!" to insurance for Holly Madison

Holly Madison, who qualified recently as a self-styled celebrity (please drop the "t" when saying the word "celebrity" out loud) as a result of making a prat of herself on national television (lack of) reality show, was today refused insurance for he...
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Funny story: Al Gore 'Hot' After Being Denied Insurance Against "Spontaneous Human Combustion!"

Al Gore 'Hot' After Being Denied Insurance Against "Spontaneous Human Combustion!"

Al Gore denounced all insurance companies today after it was revealed he has been denied medical and life insurance against "Spontaneous Human Combustion" based on the determination he suffers from a 'pre existing condition' according to a spokesman...
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Funny story: Gilbert Gottfried Has Just Joined Bernie Madoff and Governor Scott Walker As The Three Most Hated Men In America

Gilbert Gottfried Has Just Joined Bernie Madoff and Governor Scott Walker As The Three Most Hated Men In America

WEST COVINA, California - Sitting in his apartment in West Covina, Gilbert Gottfried, the voice of the Aflack Duck, was shocked to hear that he has been fired by the insurance giant. Gottfried had what many consider to be the easiest job in the hi...
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"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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