Two giants of the boxing world will face off tonight in a prize contest at Dorking's Cheesy Puffs Arena.
Pugilism has always been a gentleman's sport and they don't come more gentle than Bill 'Bonecrusher' O'Dibelt. The Irishman who was once pard...
Adapting Royal Navy submarines to allow women to serve on them will cost £30 million, MPs were told. Defence Secretary Ivor Hammond-Organ said the money would allow women to have separate accommodation on the submarines; each room would have its own...
After years of pounding away at Iraqi insurgents, the US army is finally withdrawing from the country, leaving it quivering and breathless. It is hoped that the withdrawal will not cause too much of a power vacuum, and that Iraqis will be able to pul...
A South Boston man's right hand had simply had it with trying to choke a chicken that, not only had not neck, but lacked a head worth squeezing.
"I can't believe it!" Exclaimed a shocked Jerry Little from South Boston. "This was my best friend! As a matter of fact, he was my only friend!"
"How could leave me this way? I mean all the good times we had together. I feel so empty now".
Top Psychologist Doctor Simon Kich has finally completed a twelve year study into the appeal of Soccer (football to the English), and has come to the conclusion that it is all about sex.
"The way I see it," said Kich, "this is a battle between dom...
Julian Assange, in his first statement since being released on bail, said that the accusations by the two Swedish women who accused him of diving into their Wiki's unprotected, smelled "fishy" to him.
While neither confirming nor denying having se...
Rare weather patterns and unseasonably warm temperatures will be responsible for a convergence of two storm systems today, where sustained winds are expected to reach more that 60 miles per hour.
Local authorities are preparing for the worst, give...
A gay author is celebrating tonight after winning first prize in a prestigious short story contest, the prize for which was an extraordinarily outsized stationery set.
The writer, Larry Sabu, 20, claimed the fantastic prize with his first-time ent...
In a first for English judicial law, two men have been found guilty of illegally making sperm, available over the internet, by turning a hobby into a scheme for reaping pecuniary rewards.
The men behind the seminal case, Bill Wrangler and his rig...
THE HAGUE - Due to the quick-draw popularity of Iran's recently unveiled unmanned drone bomber aircraft - the so-called "Ambassador Of Death" (for no other reason than apparently because "Semi-Big Thing That Will Blow Up Near Where You Live" was alre...
Admitting to creating a play on words twice in the same sentence, Nevada real estate developer and entrepreneur, Manny Slongenhard, will be opening a new multi service entertainment establishment in Lake Tahoe next spring called the Tahoe Bar and Gir...
In an unprecedented move, golf Satyr Tiger Woods was forced to 'pull out' during the final round of the TPC match at Ponte Verde claiming a 'bulging ball sack" was giving him a stiff neck and he wasn't able to 'follow through."
Tiger's early withd...
Thor Longknob, Gatwick's World leading Viking re-enactor, is today "standing proud" after his amazing victory in the 69th Annual Balcombe Bishop Bashing Bonanza which is held on the second Sunday in April for no particular reason.
Longknob overcam...
Whilst contemplating having a "pussy' share one's life one should study the recommendations given in a Nepalese scientific study recently.
The results were astounding here they are:
A) A white "Pussy" is normally well house-trained, reluctant to sit on one's lap, doesn't like being told when to purr and blows hot and cold!
B) A "Tiger Pussy" can be intimidating, fiery hot and fiercely col...
Local woman Patsy Pillock, 41, was left dumbstruck when she came home from a day prostituting herself down by the Old Canal Road and found her husband, Barry Pillock, 43, standing on the step holding his knob and sobbing loudly.
"He said it had fa...
It is now a fact, Blonde women and those who dye their hair blond are not dumb, Marilyn you've been pardoned, oo boob ee doo!
A survey by US scientists in California confirmed this fact stating:
"Blond women are definitely not dumb or "Suckers"...
I can't believe it's finally come true. My whole life I've wanted to come here, to Love's capital of the world, gay Paris. And I owe it all to you. Nick, today has been so amazing, and you've made it all possible: the Louvre, Notre Dame, le mayonnaise - everything has been filled with romance and passion, just like when we first met. That is why tonight, now that we are back in l'hotellerie, I...
Uh oh! Zac Efron is having cock trouble again and this time it's serious.
The High School Musical prick just can't keep it under control. He's tried everything from tieing it down with garden takes, jamming it in a cupboard and even considering ge...