Amsterdam - The abdication of Holland's Queen Beatrix Potter has started a chain reaction with Belgian malingerer Queen Fabiola next for the chop according to Hellfire Club sources tonight.
Beatrix has channeled the Dutch queen for 33 years on a l...
PORTLAND, Maine (ABSNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.0 struck just west of Portland just before 8 p.m. this evening. The Illuminati has taken responsibility for the temblor and "vows to cause an even greater quake should Mitt Romney fail to be...
ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America, was acquitted in the murder of her child Caylee who died more than three years ago. Her legal trouble has not ended, not by a long shot. She is still in the middle of a laws...
HYANNIS PORT MA (ABSNN) - Taylor Swift, 22, was indicted this morning by a federal grand jury for violating the Mann Act, after admitting that she drove Conor Kennedy, then 17-years-old, across state lines and the two "engaged in heavy petting, but only outside my tee shirt."
"The Grand Jury had two federal crimes from which to choose to indict, Ms. Taylor," said assistant US Attorney William J...
ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND - In a festival-like gathering, Secret Societies held a conference celebrating the US Supreme Court ruling which effectively terminated use of the judicial system to limit unchecked powers of unelected bureaucrats appointed by...
Chipping Norton - The symbol of Yale University's darkest arts and crafts society has reared its shadowy face outside Rebekah Brooks' Oxfordshire mansion.
The cultish secret club has served as foreign conflict tool for President George Bush Senior...
London - An inevitable Hollywood blockbuster has also bombed as a plot by Palace Enlightened Ones upping Prince William to national hero-dom lies on the cutting room floor today.
The top secret scam alongside the Argentine military was to have mag...
WASHINGTON, DC - Since George Soros "publicly" took ownership of the US Government in January 2009, organizations such as the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group have practically flaunted their diabolical manipulation of human...
London - "Bring it on!" was the only comment from a consortium of British producers of the Triple-A carbon-zinc battery threatened with downgrading by EU penpushers.
They were joined by manufacturers of the alkaline, lithium and NiMH rechargeable...
London - Accusations that the NewsCorpse private investigator was an Establishment puppet were vehemently denied this weekend by gargoyle-faced Glenn Mulcaire.
Named after a notorious Scottish phishing lodge on the banks of Loch Ness the disgraced...
Munich - The secret society's Germ(an) warfare wing has been caught cooking up a lethal new recipe to deal with Euroseptics (sick).
Traces of the homegrown genetically modified Eco Lie bacteria have been sourced to a new batch of Plutonium-210, co...
London - A newlywed from the sacred Merovingian line is being fast-tracked to replace Ass-ended Master Osama.
Known only by his Emir Will Panic anagram codename the up-and-coming one flopped badly in spearheading the UK World Cup 2018 bid.
A sp...
New York - It's been dubbed Michelle Obama's master grimoire of ovulation rites for dummies - 'something that ex-First Daughter Chelsea Clinton-Lewinsky-Mezvinsky could sorely use right now!'
The first print run hit NYC bookstores this morning and...
London - (Fawning Fauna Furor): Illuminati mind control experiment technology may be to blame for the tide of animal kingdom protest suicides.
This week's global pandemic of bird, fish and crab fatalities is being linked to an electronic sublimina...
London - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): A deep space sarcophagus commissioned by the Illuminati for the death of Queen Elizabeth streaked across British skies at dusk yesterday.
Government spin doctors immediately dubbed it 'a Gemenid meteor fireball, heh...
London - (Green & Unpleasant Land News): It's goodbye and bloody good riddance to all that Illuminati bollox as the UK's flagshit carrier is mothballed for posterity.
HMS Ark of the Covenant's RIP sees a host of dodgy Navy blue bloodlines scup...
London - (Artefux): Since the dawn of time the billion year-old amethyst skull has nestled under the foundations of the TV pundit's back side - er...yard!
This weekend the London Abasement Company's builders were gobsmacked when a mystery object u...
Have you ever pondered the notion of a supreme being which controls all that exists in the modern world. No, not god. it's the god damn illuminati again. They control the government, that nigger Obama, and even Jay Z. My cat once took a shit outside the litter box whilst at the same time my fridge broke and I'm pretty sure I saw a UFO so who is that? WHO THE HELL IS TO BLAME!?!?!?!
Idk.
Bu...