Bartholomew Utterswaithe, our 65 year old Nottingham correspondent and unemployed Gas Street lamp wick trimmer, found himself housebound the other day.
Partly due to his arthritis, losing his free-bus-pass, the flapping holed sole of of his right shoe, and the lousy wet weather.
He was straining a thrice-used Asda tea bag, and thought about what he might be missing on his cancelled wonderful...
Christmas may be a time of mistletoe and wine, but it is also a time of coughs and sniffles, and it seems that the long winter months are being blamed for a sharp rise in cases of combined Yuppie/Man Flu (or YuMF for short). Practitioners describe th...
With the news of hurricanes quickly whisking themselves away, the media turns to cold and flu season for its latest outbreak of media frenzy.
This affliction which affects mainly reporters and those who run news agencies occurs any time a story i...
People are eating a healthier diet these days and have reduced the use of red meats. However, it also means increasing the use of lean meats such as fish, chicken and turkey. Since the popularity of switching hamburg meat to ground turkey, more and...
Libuse, La. - Mrs. Del Taylor remembers last Friday morning when, she says with a bit of nervous laughter, she discovered only four eggs and a small packet of grated American cheese in the refrigerator. Her husband Kenny was in the bathroom readying...
Unbelievably popular television journalist, Jeremy Clarkson, has - according to chiropody reports - got a verruca.
The chiropody reports, liberated from a Chipping Norton waste paper bin and painstakingly glued back together from their shredded re...
Appearing before the General Medical Council, Doctor Amor DeFreitas, who works as a GP in downtown Doncaster was accused of only ever prescribing valium to patients, regardless of their medical condition.
The matter first came to light when a loca...
Employers around the world have been reporting increases in staff absences due to illness this week - and the Japanese earthquake is to blame, say experts.
Boffins reckon that the huge quake last Friday shifted the Earth on its axis by 6.5 inches.
Jed Simpson, Britain's leading rower heading for the London 2012 Paralympics, has had his bid for gold put in jeopardy.
The Sunderland born sportsman has contracted woodworm in his left leg.
Simpson had noticed sawdust appearing in his bed over...
Shocking news from Hollywood yesterday afternoon, as Justin Bieber, in an attempt to take on an older look, changed his famous sweeping, bang-covering hairstyle.
Seen on the streets moments after a visit to his favorite hairstylist in Marina Del-R...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has finally succumbed to the relentless interrogation of Republicans. Though she never spilled the beans concerning her knowledge about the Bush Administration's use of water boarding, she has now...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as the World Health Organization struggles to contain a recent outbreak of swine flu, a startling number of other swine related diseases and illnesses have begun to crop up across the globe.
"This latest development is esp...
After the failure of National Sausage Day, and National Toilet Paper Day, the Department of Stupidly Named Days did not hold out much hope for the latest initiative: National Sickie Day.
The first Monday in February has been dubbed National Sickie...
According to reports out of Hollywood, Kevin Costner was on his way to a meeting around noon on Monday when suddenly he began to feel very ill.
In fact, he felt so bad, he had to pull off the road and call 911.
Meanwhile waiting for EMTs to arr...
WASHINGTON DC. -- An expansive group of health organizations today filed several lawsuits against the United States Government seeking an immediate stop to the circulation of paper money. Members of the group Health Action Coalition are health care p...
The rock band Probe has become the focus of accusations from the medical community who say their music is causing listeners to feel sick.
Veteran Cuban president Fidel Castro has temporarily handed leadership of the country to his pet goldfish, Igor, because of illness.