When the State of the Union rebuttal is drowned out by the speaker touching his face and drinking water it's time to admit, "Talking about liberals is just boring."
No one is freaking out enough to watch 24 hour news coverage about fixing bridges,...
HUNTSVILLE, AL--Though initially unsure of the purpose of Brent Gilas' turn of phrase, area man Gabriel Sodhammer was helpfully informed by Gilas' immediate clarification that the play on words was in fact intentional, and not a sequence of words tha...
dc Lampoon offers cheap, cost-effective ways to get rid of bed bugs![/center
From what we hear, there are a lot of people out there dealing with the problem of bed bugs. Last week we here at the Lampoon heard a heart breaking story about a 400 pound truck driver who was apparently devoured by an infestation of bed bugs overnight at a Motel in RestonVA.When investigators arrived on the scene all...
Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational su...
Thomas Johnson, a resident of Bartlesville, OK, has decided to voice his opinion in light of the recent Huggies ad campaign depicting loving fathers easily taking care of their children, without the help and supervision of their wives.
While some...
Rush Limbaugh has finally made it official: He's fat.
The conservative radio show host has never publicly confirmed that detail until now, just a day after Anderson Cooper revealed his homosexuality.
Limbaugh made the announcement via his Frien...
Congratulations! Your fresh out of collage, and you have decided to embark on a career as a Capitol Hill lobbyist. One of many things that you must always keep forefront in your mind is that you are joining the ranks of an exclusive prestigious club where access is earned through hard work and using your head. There is much to be gained if you are up to the task at hand.
The people who you wil...
How to get a free cup of coffee from Starbucks
From the Staff of dc Lampoon
Times are tough and coffee ain't cheap! So we here at the dclampoon.com have come up with some sure fire methods for you to get your free cup of morning Joe from non-participating Starbucks.
The origins of free coffee
The origins of free coffee can probably be traced back to some loin cloth wearing native starv...
HOW TO DIE
How to die. That is the question posed by the nation's magazine. But, is it:
TIME TO DIE
It probably is if you are an establishment news magazine that feeds people propaganda that is no longer believed by people capable of reading for themselves on the internet what is happening.
That is why TheSpoof.com says
TIME TO LIVE
Time to enjoy some humor. SO, forget about dy...
Wanted - a Custom Made Sense of Humour tailored to fit.
I've searched high and low for a Sense of Humour that would fit me but not make me stand out in a crowd. Merely a tasteful one that would help me 'fit in'.
Having tried on many styles of different colours and worn them in public, I found that each time I went out in a 'new sense of humour' some person would find fault with it so I ende...
I often think about comedy, and about the funniest people I've run across in my life. I guess they have inspired me to become involved in humor. There are a few and they are varied, but they had one thing in common: their humor was unique, and they made us laugh. By "us" I mean "me."
My first comedy mentor was a local TV host named Bobby Harrimer. Every afternoon, around 5pm, he ushered us i...
An unfunny wife today was charged with treason by the Unfunny Committee of Unamerican Lack of Humor for daring to drone on and on about chilli peppers, about as interesting as anything else that is American, i.e. not interesting at all.
'I had jus...
I've been asked by people why I write for this website. They say that I "should be using my time doing other, productive things." Like what, watching reality shows on television? They say that I ought to be using my writing talents to make money. Don't I need to develop that talent first? They say that some of what I write is not appropriate to people of all ages and morality levels. And the...